BE LIKE A PAIN KILLER

MY PRAYER  BEFORE MY GOD-

Dear God, Please give me the strength and faith to help me get through each and every day for it is a challenge. My heart is heavy and my soul aches. Give me the courage to go on and fight to make me well again. I know not everything I wished and hoped for will come true. Please give me strength to let go and entrust everything to you. I understand you won’t allow me to be in pain for the sake of hurting but for the sake of learning. You know me more than I know myself that even when I feel alone and unloved, there is still someone who knows all my flaws yet loves me unconditionally like no other human can. Amen

This is my prayer before my god whenever I face any kind of problem. I have faith on my lord that he will surely help me, as I never hurt anyone or try to hurt anyone.

When I was child I never feel pain for anything, I was the eldest child in my family so I always get love from everyone. Even if my papa always try his best to fulfill my all requirements. He never feel that I am not belongs to a billionaire family <I AM FROM A NORMAL FAMILY>, he always try his best to fulfill my all aim & requirements. whatever I beg till now he gave me everything except one thing that is change my life/ luck whatever you can say. He can’t change it, I always cry before my papa & always tell one thing PAPA “TILL NOW WHAT EVER I WANT YOU FULFILLED EVERYTHING, CAN U GIVE ME ONE THING. AFTER THIS I’LL NOT BEG YOU ANYTHING MORE. I WANT TO GET PEACE, HOW I CAN GET IT. I ALWAYS TRY MY BEST TO LOVE EVERYONE, I ALWAYS TRY MY BEST TO DO HOW MUCH I CAN, I ALWAYS HELP OTHERS BUT WHY I ALWAYS HURT FROM OTHERS. WHY? ” but in answer he always tell me one thing- I CAN’T, ONE PERSON CAN GIVE YOU, THAT IS YOUR GOD. ASK HIM, WHY HE MADE YOUR LIFE LIKE THIS. WHY HE GIVES YOU SO MUCH PAIN.

I never get pain from my family or from my brothers & sisters. All are very nice & close to me. But why I always fail to get love from outsider. I always want a friend who really true to me & honest to me but I always fail. Why? Whenever I start any friendship I always try my best to make them happy, I can’t tolerate if anyone feel sad or cry. It’s my weak poor whatever you can say, even if what pain I have got I never try to give that. As I know the meaning of pain so that I never try to give others but in return I always get pain, I always search a friend who really true, honest for me. I don’t need more, I don’t care who he/she is. But I always fail, I FAIL TO GET SUCH KIND OF PERSON WHO REALLY UNDERSTAND ME. WHO REALLY KNOW ME.? YEAH, I HAD& HAVE ONE FRIEND WHO REALLY KNOW ME, SHE WAS TRUE ANGEL FOR ME. BUT I ALWAYS MARK WHAT I LOVE GOD TAKE THAT THINGS FROM ME  , LIKE MY BEST FRIEND , MY GRAND MAA , MY GRAND PAPA ETC. I always fail to get a friend who never get jealous on me or who will not cheat me. After cheated from my many friends, now I fear to make friends or fear to talk with anyone.  I can’t bear more, so I decided to live alone & make friendship with me. Yeah, I have friends but no one is like that that I can believe blindly, who really loves me. Why I can’t get. Is there any problem with me? I never quarrel with anyone, even if I never told anything which may hurt others, but I always scolded from others but why.

IF ANYONE HAS ANY DOUBT ASK ANYONE FROM MY SCHOOL LIFE TO MY COLLEGE LIFE- I NEVER QUARREL WITH ANYONE, EXCEPT ONE THING IF ANYONE TRY TO DESTROY MY CAREER  I LOVE MY EDUCATION & DREAM. WHICH IS GREAT MEAN TO ME.? EXCEPT THIS I NEVER HURT ANYONE, EVEN IF I TALK VERY LESS. THEN WHY I ALWAYS FACE PROBLEMS. WHY? MAY BE SOME PROBLEMS WITH ME. WHAT. I ALWAYS TRY TO FIND OUT. WHAT’S MY PROBLEM, I ALWAYS EXPECT A LOT OR WHAT? OR I AM SILENT ENOUGH & FORGIVE EASILY. WHAT’S MY FAULT, WHY PEOPLE SCOLD ME OR WHY PEOPLE COMMENT ME.? ? I ALWAYS ASK THIS QUESTION TO MYSELF, BUT EVERY TIME I FAIL TO SOLVE IT. I HAVE ONLY ONE PROBLEM THAT IS – I TALK VERY LESS, I EXPECT A LOT, LOVE A LOT & HONEST A LOT. WHERE I DON’T NEED. I FELT IF YOU WANT TO BE A SUCCESSFUL PERSON THEN IS COMPLICATED & DOUBLE FACE THEN ONLY YOU CAN SURVIVE  BUT IT’S VERY DIFFICULT TASK FOR ME. SO I HAVE DECIDED I WILL STAY ALONE & MAKE FRIENDSHIP WITH ME TILL LAST. AS I HAVE NO BELIEVE ON ANY FRIENDSHIP OR ANYONE.

I MARKED ONE THING.

Except your parents, no one can see your success. This is 100% true. NO ONE MEANS NO1. They are the only people who love to see you in happy & success. They are the only people who really love you truly. THEY ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE IN THIS WHOLE WORLD. I DON’T KNOW FOR OTHERS. IT’S SUITABLE FOR ME. BECAUSE TILL NOW WHEN EVER I GET SUCCESS IN ANY FIELD I LOOSE ONE FRIEND, I LOOSE LOVE FROM OTHERS <FROM MY FRIENDS>. YEAH, I AGREE SOME LUCKY PEOPLE STILL EXIST SOME WHO GET HELP FROM OTHERS TO GET SUCCESS. BUT I AM THE UN-LUCKIEST PERSON.

PS: - plz doesn’t blame my college or my friends or anyone. It’s not my college issue or roommate issue. It’s my general life problem. It happens with me everywhere, where ever I go I face problem. Now it’s not new to me. But I always ask myself what’s my problem. Or why people don’t like me. Why I always get hurt. It’s the question I ask to myself through my writing. So please don’t blame anyone here. Sometimes I feel I am like an exceptional piece, I he got very good family & parents, brothers & sisters. But I never get help from any outsider like my friends or you may be able to say it’s a kind of SOCIAL REJECTION. I DON’T KNOW WHY PEOPLE CAN’T UNDERSTAND ME OR DON’T TRY TO UNDERSTAND ME  OR WHAT’S MY PROBLEM , I NEVER QUARREL OR HURT ANYONE . BUT WHY I ALWAYS SUFFER.  I know the meaning of pain so I don’t try to give pain to others, so here something may help you whenever you feel pain. Please read it loudly, what I have written below. You may feel peace. My writing  may give me peace. Hope you all like it , hope you all understand me .i don't know HOW TO KILL MY PAIN but I CAN HELP OTHERS TO KILL THEIR PAIN.AS I CAN'T SEE OTHERS IN PAIN.  SO IT'S FOR ALL . 

SO I LEARNT MANY THING FROM MY LIFE    WHICH I GONNA SHARE WITH EVERYONE –

1) There is an inner beauty about a woman who believes in herself, who knows she is capable of anything she puts her mind to. There is a beauty in the strength and determination of a woman who follows her own path, who isn’t thrown off by obstacles along the way. There is a beauty about a woman whose confidence comes from experiences - who knows she can fall, pick herself up, and go on.”

2) When people throws rocks at you, dodge them, laugh and move on. Don’t stumble over the stones, just walk around them and keep moving forward.

We can’t control what others say or do to us, but we can control how we react and let it affect our lives. And I choose to forgive everyone.

3) I know I’m right where I belong. But sometimes when I’m not that strong.I Wish I’d done a little bit more.  

4)I’m not completely sure of what I want with my life actually, and I still feel that emptiness sometimes but what I know  now is that , this life right now is what I want, this is what I decided to be, this life that I’m living right now, the person that I am, the place where I live, the people I am with, the job I have and everything that I achieved and total of all that is happening in my life right now…this is it! This I what I want with my life. I want to accept it as it is. There may be something more that I desire or need but I will deal with it every day, and work for it.  I was blinded to look too much about what I want with my life, without realizing that I have so much more to be thankful for, that my life is the life that I want to be. And right now whatever comes my way I am okay with it.

5) Believe in yourself, build your strength, you are strong; you’re beautiful and smart and capable of doing anything.

6) We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come."Have Faith. Be strong

7) It hurts to smile… I feel like I’m going to burst into tears. There are just some days like this when it all seems to be wrong and nothing feels right.

8) Don’t let a bad day make you feel like you have bad life. Without bad days, how would you be able to know what a good day is like? You have to believe that when things are bad, you can change them. So be grateful about your bad day, it means that a good day is just around the corner. Commo’n SMILE.

9)“Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I’m not perfect
-and I don’t live to be-
but before you start pointing fingers…
make sure you hands are clean!” - Bob Marley

10) Always remember you are unique and you are important. There is no one else in the world quite like you. You are special. There never has been and there never will be anyone like you again.

Don’t let people take away your respect for yourself. No matter what they say or do remember that you are very important and a worthwhile person, and always retain respect for yourself. They cannot take away your self respect and dignity, for you control what you think of yourself and no one else.

You have your own special qualities and talents, and though you may not have the talents and gifts that someone else has, you have your own talents and gifts that others do not have. No one else can be you. Only you can be you. Try to be the best you possible.

Remember also that you are important to other people. You cannot help but touch the lives of other people as you go through life. There are many people who need your love and support, and who look up to you, and want to emulate you. People you may not even be aware of need you, and watch your life, and if you give up and fail yourself, you are failing them and letting them down too.

And you are important in the eyes of God.

11) Pain comes in all forms. In the small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain, and the normal pains we live with everyday. Then there’s the kind of pain that you just can’t ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else. It makes the rest of the world fade away until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us. We ride it out, embrace it, ignore it, run from it, and for some of us, the best way to manage the pain is to just push through it.The important thing is to not be bitter over life’s disappointments. Learn to let go of the past and recognize that every day won’t be sunny. And when you find yourself lost in the darkness of despair, remember that it is only in the black of night that you see the stars, and those stars lead you home.

No matter what circumstances life throws in your direction, you have to believe that you can handle it. It’s really about our perception. There’s no such thing as a bad circumstance. All those things we perceive as bad are actually real growing experience in life. You have to see that everything that happens to you has come into your life for a reason, an we are challenged in life because that’s what life is all about. Life’s about how we deal with those challenges.

12) I WANNA GIVE A BIG THANKS TO MY DIARY  WHO IS MY BEST FRIEND , WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT ME , MY DAILY ROUTINE & WHEN EVER I CRY. IT CAN TOLERATE EVERYTHING WITHOUT DOING ANY SOUND OR ANY OBJECTION-

 Dear Diary: Today will be different. It has to be. I will smile and it will be believable. The smile will say ‘I’m fine, thank you. Yes, I feel much better’. I will no longer be the sad little girl. I will start fresh. Be someone new. It’s the only way I’ll make it through

13) IT’S FOR MY PAPA WHO IS EVERYTHING FOR ME, WHO LOVES ME A LOT MAY BE MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE –

What Is A Dad? 
A dad is someone who wants to catch you before you fall 
but instead picks you up, brushes you off, and lets you try again. 
A dad is someone who wants to keep you from making mistakes 
but instead lets you find your own way, 
even though his heart breaks in silence when you get hurt. 
A dad is someone who holds you when you cry, 
scolds you when you break the rules, 
shines with pride when you succeed, 
and has faith in you even when you fail. - Susan Ceylise


What Makes a Dad

God took the strength of a mountain, 
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun, 
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature, 
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages, 
The power of the eagle’s flight,
The joy of a morning in spring, 
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity, 
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, 
He called it … Dad.