DON'T LET OTHERS TO DEFINE YOUR SELF WORTH

Life is very complicated if you'll look deep into it you'll feel it's really not that much complicated how we think!

That's called SELF ACTUALIZATION -

If you have faith on yourself then anything is possible.

DON'T LET OTHERS TO CHOOSE SOMEONE FOR YOU

DON'T LET OTHERS LIMITS YOUR TALENT

DON'T LET OTHERS DEFINE YOUR CAPABILITY.

In the end I can say - DON'T LET OTHERS TO GIVE YOU LESS THAN YOU DESERVE.

We all come this world with limited time period, we also don't know when our time will finish and we'll leave this world.

So enjoy your fullest and don’t ever resist yourself where you feel you deserve better and you have limitless power.

So this article is all about –

Does moral hinder our success?

Does perception really matters?

Are we define by others or by ourselves?

(I am going to write my views and the way i take the things. so you may agree with that or may not be so please don’t take it personally)

Does moral hinder our success?

“Goodness without knowledge is weak; knowledge without goodness is dangerous. We have to build a better man before we can build a better society. All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good people do nothing. Our purpose is not to make a living but a life--a worthy, well-rounded, useful life. Morality is not a subject; it is a life put to the test in dozens of moments. -Paul Tillich”

Being a good person, is important for our own wellbeing as well as for the good of others. Sometimes we feel like we are good but until unless we become beneficial for our society or world, the goodness is meaningless, it’s just like we are silent in every moment and let everything around us. So what define you as a good person –?

Is it any recognition?

Is it people who define you?

Is it being successful?

I feel it’s the self-actualization –

It’s the combination of our moral values, personality and character.

A person having self-esteem as well as being a good worker, good parent, and kind/grateful/forgiving towards others, a person who can contribute small or big towards the society especially towards those who can’t help that person back. More or less, you can say social worker but all social worker are not genuine so how can you define genuineness too, as we all work for money and that’s true, which nobody can ignore too. So how can we define someone’s genuineness, through the selflessness?

So how can moral values hinder our success –?

As per the previous discussion, we all get know that a good person is who has moral values so do you think your moral values can also hinder your success. Sometimes yes, it does and sometimes, No! It don’t.

Sometimes the way we rise or can say born and brought up makes our mind-set a certain way and it’s very difficult to get rid of it.

Like – if I grow up a very open minded family where dressing sense to fooding items has no strict rules then when i see a person very conservative mind-set , i feel like suffocating , same wise vice versa .  

So the way see the things differ from one person to another. but something is common like the way we treat others and make us feel for us and the way do the work , it’s not always corporate oriented as in corporate world you have to be fake sometimes to gain profit and this is the real world where we are living.

So how can we define moral values and goodness of a person in this flexible world –?

This is the only thing which always confuse me as the way I born and brought up is something different than my ambition/dream wants. My moral values actually hinder my success.

Something what I feel is bad but the same thing is good or can say doesn’t matter for others as the world is changing and as per DARWIN’S LAW – Survival of the fittest , if you are fit then only you can survive . but I am trying to change myself according to society as I know I have to be flexible as per changing environment but something is always push me back that is my moral consciousness .It always say ‘ BE , WHO YOU ARE . You are right in your way and they are right in their way but follow your instinct as that’s called as success – if you’ll do something which will never ever give you pleasure then you’ll finally end up with give up that as you are not feeling self-satisfaction. But when success comes to RECOGNITION AND IN TERMS OF PHYSICAL EVIDENCE at that time your moral values doesn’t work.

So now my life is in conflict between – MORAL VALUES AND MY SUCCESS.

Till now, I never go against my moral values no matter how worst the condition is, let’s see! In future because life always push you towards the extreme and it’s you how you react to such thing. I’ll try to stick with my values until something really go beyond my imagination.

I believe that – no one is perfect in this world, as we all are different as per our surroundings where we grow up and the mind-set. So don’t define someone is perfect or not from your perspective that’s why I am kind of person WHO ACCEPT ALL, But very few know about it. But there are certain things which society also don’t accept or can say most of the people in this world don’t accept that I also don’t accept like – Dishonesty, Drug addicted and Cruel. Be open as per dress, fooding items and flirt etc., these are common and we can’t say anything to it as we all are different.

Does perception really matters?

Seeing yourself from your own perspective can be entirely different than how others perceive you. That’s why in interview ask – how your friends and others define you?

As perception vary person to person , sometimes it act as beneficial way and sometimes it also hurt us like if I am a good person not necessarily that I have lots of friends who’ll love me , I may have lots of enemies whom I also don’t even know . I don’t spend time with others doesn’t mean I am unsocial , it means I love to spend much time with myself and i am very choosy due to some past bad experiences . So perception matters. sometimes it also affects you badly like if people get know about your weakness they’ll dig you there until unless you become strong in that point or can say you turn your weakness into strength .

So perception may be TRUE but can spread as FAKE to down someone, until unless other people research more or go deep into that.

Perception can RUIN SOMEONE’S ENTIRE LIFE ALSO if wrong perception spread about someone else. So I believe perception really matters.

So how can we get rid of wrong perception even we know the is truth is –

As this world is very complicated and all are busy to down someone to rise them up. so how can you deal with others perception – by simply sit silent and do nothing (like me) , due to some past bad experience sometimes I feel it’s better to sit silently and focus on your work only. As I learnt as per the time - Perception is everything. Not only does it play into how they will choose to communicate with you, it dictates how successful your interaction together will be; both professionally and personally.  

Your behaviour and feelings can be quickly telegraphed to others either in positive way or in negative way and depending on your state of mind, there are various levels of perception. This is how the brand value is really rally on.

Example -

·        When you are up for a job promotion or applying for a new position, their perception of you will decide your fate.

·        When you are networking your business and building a personal brand of value, perception is everything.

·        When you’re selling a product or service, or yourself, their perception of you reflects in their buying decision.

·        When you are negotiating conflict and dealing with difficult situations, perception is everything.

Personally and professionally, perception plays a key role in the success of every relationship. Wouldn’t you agree?         

People’s perception of YOU really does matter even it has power to change you completely either in positive way or in negative way.

(PERSONAL EXPERIENCE)

I have seen when I was child or can say most of my academic career I was successful as an all-rounder as I got huge support from everyone else , I found many hands who are supporting me . That’s why I was successful and got many prizes. That’s the change the perception of the minds of people that I AM AN ALL ROUNDER, THAT’S WHY I COULD GET BEST STUDENT AWARD TWICE.

Whereas when I grow up and competition rises, I failed to achieve one of my dream and that make a huge difference in the perception and I turn into a DUMP STUDENT then I tried to rise use my own skill and knowledge than in skilful way – I FAILED as I didn’t update myself as per present scenario or present work life culture. This is how perception changes , what I have seen but I am the same person even same talent and marks still why it’s not work out as PERCEPTION OF THE PEOPLE CHANGE ON ME THAT “I AM A LOSER” AND THAT’S MAKES A HUGE DIFFERENCE IN MY LIFE . THIS IS THE BIGGEST LEARNING AND I AM TRYING MY BEST AND I HAVE FAITH ON MYSELF ONE DAY AGAIN I’LL REGAIN MY OWN IMAGE.

Perception has power to motivate you or demoralize you!!!

Don’t let others to define your self-worth and happiness.

“If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have already forgotten your value.” ~Unknown

This seems contradictory to my previous part “Does other’s perception matters on YOU” but it’s not, this is also related to that but in different way, I have lots of confusion about life and my personality as I am kind of rigid personality and for me my moral values matters and in the same time I love to be modernize or can say update myself as per changing environment.

I always give my best effort to prove myself , my love and my worth but one point came in my life I feel like it’s worthless , it’s not about show up , it’s all about do the things skilfully . That’s why I am unsuccessful, till now nobody can’t stop me from trying, though. I did all I could to get people to like me—to feel accepted. Perfectionism quickly became my best friend.

I learned the hard way that when we connect our worth with anything outside of ourselves, we’re setting ourselves up for failure.

So, how exactly does one develop a deep sense of self-worth?

It is the big challenge before me now.

As I learnt that – money is the biggest worth in present world, if you have you can enjoy your life and you’ll have everything. But does it bring self-worth, I don’t think so, may be immature person can take it but I take it to certain level not fully agree with it.

So what is self-worst is actually mean?

Always remember that self-worth is define by you, not by others and it has the great power to change your life too.

That’s why self-motivator and self-love is much important than anything else.

·        Your worth doesn’t decrease because someone decides to break up with you or not be your friend anymore. Based on one person your friendship is not depends , it’s all about what you have contribute themselves not in terms on money or benefits like in this world everything is rally on money and benefits . The relationship (friend or lover) exists until the benefits are there or you can say “FRIENDS OF GOOD TIMES”. So if you are not getting benefited from someone else doesn’t make them as a bad person or not worthy for friendship, its means you are cheap and frankly speaking this world is based on this. When you realize someone’s value in your life in long term goal you’ll surely return back.

·        Feeling hurt and sad when someone decides to exit your life is normal but don’t let it define your worth. Grieve the loss but hold true to yourself.

·        People sometimes define their worth through their work.  While loving whatever you do for a living is wonderful, it’s not all you are.

·        Your worth is not determined by how much money you have or make. It isn’t defined by whether you have the newest model of a particular car or the latest smart phone.

I learnt that - It’s not something anyone can take away from you.

Don’t let labels define you – you are worth so much more than that, you are so much more than that.

If you let others define you, you won't reach true happiness because you won't reach the Lord has assigned to you. Every single person on earth is equally important in God's mysterious, incomparable Plan.

Go for the greatest "you." Go for the best you can be -- no matter what others around you think. Rest in the Lord. Remain in Him. Worry about pleasing Him only. Maintain the real you no matter how others try to perceive you and cause you to misperceive yourself.

I learnt that –

1)     Never ever let other people define, who is good for you and who is not either it comes to friendship or love or anyone else. Choose whom your heart says as I believe in this complicated world believe your own head is more important than others. Be wise enough in choosing process. You should not need a person of GOOD TIME, you need a person for ALL THE TIME (GOOD AS WELL AS BAD). People say forget past but your unconscious behaviours truly defines you knowingly or unknowingly. So you know who is best for you from that.

That’s why those who never ever in my bad period , now I may forgive them all but I put them all in one place of my life that is “JUST FRIENDS”. As I am a social and I need everyone else but in deep I need no one else as , if I can resist myself in worst then I can resist myself in any situation too.

2)   Never let others define, what you can do and what you can’t as life changes and people too. Your career changes. You’ll get job as per you deserve and knowledge. So never let others perception define your knowledge and growth as well. When you deserve best then why you become victim of perception of rest.

3)   We all are expertise in some areas and there we feel more connected. We may not be good in all but we are good in some so never let others to define your capability and talent.

Finally I want to say –
I have some draw backs which also hinder my success.

·        For my own benefit I can’t play with others emotions as I know how it feels when it breaks. That’s why I am careful. No fake love or drama.

·        I can’t do something wrong with someone for my own benefits no matter what.

·        I can’t say or do anything wrong in favour of nasty politics if I know that person is good enough. That is beyond my values or can say! I can’t spoil anyone’s life knowingly or unknowingly. Until unless that person did same thing with me.

I can’t play better game, don’t think I am fool. I can play better than you when I am in real battle and I can go extreme also but in certain level.

Last few lines about me –

I know I am not fully perfect, but I am not that much bad also. I feel sorry for some WHO CAN’T KNOW ME WELL, I feel they are the looser not me as I AM THE PERSON WHO ACTUALLY SCARED OF LOSING until unless I feel the same vibes from that person also. Those who spread rumours in terms of perception – I literally laugh at then as I know GOD SEES THE TRUTH , I may cry now for justices but I always believe when god gives you he gives you with interest or can say which you never ever expect so KEEP FAITH ON YOURSELF AND DON’T DEFINE OTHERS FROM YOUR EYES /PERSPECTIVES.