.png "My Open Diary")
What
you think friendless life is good or worst life?
Imagine you have no friends, ha I know this type of people
don’t exist in this world. If exists very few like me – Psycho / rare species whatever
you can say. I know I am under human category even under homo sapience , still I am exception than others due to nature , behavior , way of thinking etc. that’s
the reason I am a exceptional species , exception than all. That’s why I have
no friends or you can say I have less friends , but no one is that much trusted
with whom I can share my secretes or my dream matter. No one even I can’t dare
to tell anyone.
Whenever I see people have friends I feel like I am the unluckiest
person in this whole world, I have nothing. Neither luck, no brain, no talent,
no people love me or care for me, nothing, god has given me nothing. Purely different,
it’s a kind of different life story. Now a days 85% people have either girl
friend or boy friend (lover) the rest 14% people have their own friends, but rest 1%
people who have no one neither boyfriend / girl friend nor simple true friend.
No one with them. Their only friend are their
parents & god, whom they can believe blindly. This is the true story. If you have no
friend.
My problem is I always search a good person , I always search a person “who is true for me , who don’t feel jealous , don’t
think to harm me , hurt me even understand me” but this kind of people
don’t exist for me. Ha ha , It’s true , I always search a kind person but I
never find anyone who is like me , who understand me , no one except my parents , they are the only people who know me
very well. This is not today’s story , I am suffering like this from the
beginning from my school days in school time I was staying in home so I had no
problem as my parents were with me but after coming to hostel I find
difficulties even I lost my contact with my best friend after her marriage .
But telling parents everything is not good , I don’t mean that you
should not tell everything to your parents but they have also health issue
& they also face many problems along that your problems. It’s a kind a big headache
for them. So now I feel it’s not good idea to tell your problems every time to
them. They also take tension for you. As your
problem is like their problem, when you worry they also worry, when you happy
they also happy. This is the great relation between a child with their
parents. Those who have no friends like me they only face lots of worst thing
in their life, even its unbearable to tolerate alone sometimes. So in these
situations only one thing can give you peace that’s your hobbies. I am saying whenever
I face any kind problem & can’t say anyone ,I just write down my problems
& my all pains in my diary, it’s a kind of pain relief for me. I got relief
from this. I have seen from the beginning. After coming to the engineering life
I came to know about boggling , but before that I always kept one diary, whenever
I feel frustrated or get angry & can’t say anything I just write it down
then I burn that page, it’s a kind of I burn my anger through my page,
sometimes my friends feel I am a kind of psycho for this kind of activity as
they don’t know what is going inside me , they feel pleasure to comments me , mocking me or feel lots of pleasure
whenever I cry but no one knew what was going inside me , even I don’t
like to say those who have no self conscious mind,
who can’t feel others pain, I take them as animal & rude people so I
always feel better to be silent in that situation . I have seen in this world
very few people are there who are really kind & good , I have seen many
rude & rough people even many times I ask my god why he make such kind of
people , why they can’t feel others pain , what
jealously is over than love.
Time passed now I am 22 years ,
already I passed my 22 years like this now I am habituated with all kind of
situations but I learn one lesson sometimes you have to rise your voice
otherwise you will face more problems. I
don’t know why I always in the target among all people, neither I am that much
beautiful nor I am that much talented even I never quarrel with anyone nor I
scold or rudely behave with anyone. Yeah, I have some principle which I always
follow, that’s follow the right path , I can’t see if anything wrong happens
with anyone, many more that’s the reason most of the time I face problem,
that’s I know. But that’s not enough reason behind my all problems. So what am
I having no friends that are why people get a golden opportunity to hurt me or what?
What the reason may be.
My problem is I can’t make friendship with everyone , I talk with
everyone even help everyone but I am very choosy in friendship matter , as it’s my weak point . How can I make a bad
choice especially in friendship matter? I have learnt many lessons in
friendship issue, I found no one is true in this world , I can judge a person
thoroughly through the conversation I can judge a mind but when I get know no
he/she is not good for me I cut off my friendship. It’s true even I do. I feel
it’s better to have no friends than fraud one, it’s
better to stay alone with your principle than follow wrong path with wrong friend.
I always believe this. For me my principle
matters a lot. Whatever the situation comes in my life I really follow
wrong path. That’s the reason I always face problems, what I face or facing no
one can understand even my parents. Everyone ask me
why you only? What’s the problem with you,
even I don’t know why I? behind my failure lots of reasons are there but
I don’t wanna explain as I know most of the people will take it fake explanation
to hide my own problem . No one wanna listen what you face everyone wanna see
the result that’s the problem. Even no one will see how you get the result
whether I got that in good way or bad way as everyone wanna see whether you are
success or not. If not than no matter how much labor you had done in your past
life everything will go in vain, no one will listen your problem even try to
understand your situation, if you got the success everyone celebrate it no
matter how you have got that. This is the bitter truth of life. Those people who
are like me are “very unlucky, no friends, no luck,
nothing”. Only failure & pain in their
hand. Why I only chosen , I am not the only people I have seen one / two
people like me , in this world only 1% people exists , I can give you guaranty. Still
I am happy as I am better than some people who are struggling for one day food,
getting a home, getting a job etc. so I am feel blessed in another way, that’s
the reason I have decided to help the mankind, I don’t wanna help the rich, I
wanna help the poor, I am truly hunger of love,
so I feel it’s the best way to get love from everywhere. When you help any poor
or poor child they will love you unconditionally, that’s the reason my motto is
to help mankind. I can’t tolerate hate so I choose this path , whatever I do ,
what much I become educate my final motto is to help the poor people & specially children as a child loves you unconditionally,
they loves you how much you love them. That’s the
reason I feel its best way to get love & peace. So I choose this path.
My last dream in my life - spend my rest life to
help the poor children. That’s the reason I boycott marriage , I’ll
not marry anyone , until & unless I get someone who understand me &
help me to fulfill my dream , my dream is to help mankind , I know this kind of
people are rarely exists , who wanna help mankind unconditionally. So I boycott
my marriage. I am not saying I’ll not marry, I am saying if I’ll get a person
like that otherwise its better not to marry, as I want unconditional love.
That’s
I can get from these small poor children. It’s the last best choice in my life.
PS -> DON'T THINK I AM WRITING THIS AS VALENTINE DAY
IS COMING .SORRY ! I HAVE NO RELATION WITH THAT.