DON'T CHASE PEOPLE BE YOURSELF

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master.”

— Elizabeth Gilbert Eat Pray Love —

You hope to find someone, somewhere throughout your journey in life, who will completely alter the course of your life or who will fulfill those dreams of getting married , but do you think in the first chance we get someone who perfectly made for you , I take them  lucky and fully blessed are those who marry their childhood best friend as it rarely happens.

We’ve all had our fair share of failed relationships, even if it was just that high school romance or in college. It’s all the people you let into your life and then let go (willingly or not) who harshly showed you that every relationship you enter into has a very high chance of failing ,life lessons about the reality of falling in love, your dating history should have also have given you a pretty good idea of the kind of person who is bad for you - It’s the guy who never answers your texts and only calls you ,It’s someone who uses you for company to assuage his or her loneliness .

It’s someone who doesn’t further your goals, who keeps you around for the drama and the intensity, So why keep chasing this kind of person?

Why stay with someone you know isn’t right for you?

Why we do keep finding ourselves drawn to relationships and people who are just wrong for us?

Why, at the first sign of knowing it’s just not going to work out, don’t you just leave?

What happens with people who are wrong for you is they temporarily fill that void and add excitement to your life for a short time period. Feeling pain is better than feeling nothing at all.

Now a days a person with a lot of options , dating type.  This type has the package of looks, success, personality and appeal that makes him or her desirable to a lot of people.  Often, the “person with a lot of options” and uses having lots of options as a reason to not commit to any one person ,they are having too much fun enjoying not having to choose just one person ,  they love to roaming around many options , but truth is these types of people are mainly get success in professional field but not in real relational life.

The bigger question is why in the world would you try and convince someone to be with you? When we first start dating someone, it’s natural to put a little more effort in so the other person knows that you like him/her.  But there is a line between wooing someone because you are mutually interested in relationship and convincing someone to be in a relationship with you when they are not looking for one so when someone is clear that they are not looking for a commitment and you are , at that time you start to think of ways that you could possibly convince this person to pick you? We start relationship gaming.  It starts when we start to ignore our top values and our ego comes in and says, “I want what I want and I’m going after it.”  You then start thinking of ways to manipulate, convince and strategist your actions to get what you want.  There is nothing wrong with relationship gaming if you want to build a relationship based on strategy rather than authenticity.  But if you want an authentic, intimate, spiritual partnership, get out of the game. I take love as a GAME.

I believe you to be honest about how much you truly value commitment. If you are chasing after someone who does not want to commit and judging that the other person has fear of commitment, look in the mirror.

 If you truly value commitment, why are you going after someone who doesn’t?

The truth is that you may fear commitment also.

As much as you say you want someone to be in a loving, intimate and committed relationship with you, part of you may not think it’s possible.  Maybe you’ve been hurt in the past by a committed relationship and unconsciously you are putting effort into a relationship that will never become committed as a way to protect yourself.  Or perhaps you have some limiting beliefs about your worthiness, which are fueling your pattern of chasing after crumbs. And as much as you want to receive love, there is something about it that scares you.

Are convincing and chasing really part of the love story that you want to tell?

I heard stories about serial daters and commitment seekers , who finally change when they meet their “match.”

Maybe you need someone who is quiet because you’re really loud. Maybe you need someone who isn’t going to take all the attention because you secretly like a lot of attention. Maybe you need a guy who isn’t going to dote on you and treat you like a princess because you’re already too spoiled.

Accept your worst self and understand what you need to do to become a better person before you are actually able to share your life with someone who understands you. But when someone right comes along, you will know. It will be exciting, without the drama and the nerves.

My encouragement to you is to be ruthlessly honest with yourself about whether or not you are dating or chasing.  You are worthy of a relationship that you do not have to chase after.  You deserve feeling peace in your relationship. You are deserving of someone who shares your values. You have a huge heart with so much love to give and if someone isn’t “choosing” you, why do you keep choosing him/her?!?!?

So don’t stop dating, or looking for someone who you think could complete you. Because that person could be out there, and it’s noble to give everyone a chance. Start learning and growing from your past. Learn from your mistakes and grow from them.

Take back your power and pursue a relationship with wooing but not chasing.  Choose wisely someone who will choose you back.  Most importantly, choose to honor and respect yourself first.  Trust that we all have a lot of options when it comes to relationships, but that the one relationship we MUST have is the one with ourselves.  If you want to attract a wonderful, loving partner who treats you the way you want to be treated, you will do that when you love yourself and treat yourself with respect, kindness and love.   So stop running after someone else.  Choose you. Pick you.  Chase you.

 

These are all about relationships , why you should not run after anyone , many people call me loser or laugh at me but seriously saying for me , my self-esteem is very important , I love this quote and believe it too “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.” So I always let everything free , if someone really wants to stay with me they’ll find a way if they don’t they were never ever be mine so why should I worry which was never ever mine or which was not made for me . If you keep this thought in your mind then frankly speaking you can get out these love related pain , My problem is I never run after anyone , Yes ! I try to say them what I feel for them , if I feel it’s worthless to convince or if someone is not match with my mindset I knowingly leave them as I don’t wanna force someone to love me or I can’t put my mindset into them so that they’ll help me out in my work , that's the reason most of the time I focus on my Life goal or Dream whatever you can say just because i believe , sometimes life gives you golden opportunity to meet you with someone special who has also same dream and life motto like you and in the end you realize why others were not fit with you.
It’s very important to get someone as per your mindset but never run after someone by killing your self esteem , but convincing someone and run after someone is quit different. Which already explained in my article.

WHEN IT'S COME TO DREAM OR LIFE ACHIEVEMENTS, YOU HAVE TO RUN AFTER THAT . "LOVE AND DREAM" BOTH ARE PLAY IMPORTANT ROLE IN OUR LIFE BUT WE SHOULD KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THEM PERFECTLY AS WE HAVE TO IMPLEMENT DIFFERENT STRATEGY FOR DIFFERENT THINGS ;)

Hope you like it and understand it too . Be mature and Love some one truly , It’s good for you too.