.png "My Open Diary")
Whenever people think they know me better,
then let me tell you something, I am a kind of bitch and I am a kind of an idiot
and I am kind of innocent you ever meet in your life. I am a person with multiple
personalities, it depends on you how you treat me.
Oh! Ya, you heard it right, this is Sweta Leena’s
panda, I know. I don’t know how people judge me, maybe in this way like a dump, idiot,
silly, poor village girl or any non-sense fellow but I am sure no one takes me like
a bitch as I never did such stuff. Yes! that’s what I am. but let me tell you I am
more than your imagination. I am good but bad too. I am a totally unpredictable
and confusing personality.
Previously after reading my past blog,
people took advantage of my personal life, and thanks god! it makes me a strong person,
I always wanted to be like this but my emotions and my gut feeling never ever let
me do that. Now! I am serious a strong person. But it doesn’t mean I am
emotional less but I use my emotions in a positive way. Let’s disclose the mystery
about me, you may know few things about my college life issues, let me tell you
one thing, I am not the only person who suffered during my college career,
many dumps like me were, are, and will be there so I don’t feel bad for this, I am
not unique or my cases or situations are. but it seems loud as I share a lot
and people have much more interest in my life than there. Many do 1000s of mistake
still they are good whereas I know if I do single mistake then my life turns
into hell, even after taking my all steps carefully if I do a single mistake
then it makes a huge and loud echo, sometimes I am surprised WHY?
Let me tell you about me from TINDER life
to Freelance Life …. You will be amazed to know me, don’t take it seriously but
as a joke and I hope you will not repeat the same what I have done ever in my life.
Let’s start with my life from my school
life –
I have been using spectacle since I was in primary
school means from standard 5th, sorry!
my papa use spectacle but it is not 100% genetic I’d say, it is something fault
in me. my mother still can stitch clothes without any spectacle at the age of 53 years.
I am a foody person too so I am fat, but
one positive point in my look is I am a bit white and my face cutting is not so
bad, therefore few guys like me, but many treat me as a dumbo due to my
spectacle and fatty. Well! I don’t know why juniors and seniors like me
more than my classmates, maybe I am rude in talk with them, as I was the class
monitor. still, I remember one guy dare to talk with me, his name was Binod as
he was a sweet guy but he didn’t know I am a bitch, when I got to know about it,
I stop talking. I didn’t talk for the last 3 years of my school life as he liked me, I hate
love, I didn’t know why. Maybe this is something that defines me or someone was waited for me, whatever may be till 10th boys hate me and I hate
boys like hell. I have so many fighting stories than good memories with boys during
school. I still remember boys puncture my cycle many times then I complain against
them with a list of names.
This was what I am during my school time. You
will get many friends on my Facebook, you can ask anyone, how I was. I am sure
they will not lie; they may not like me but they don’t hate me for sure, I am
100% confident about it!
Reference- I studied at Rourkela – SE RLY
MHS SCHOOL
My 12th college life –
My dream period and my struggle people. I had a dream to become a doctor and except that I don’t remember anything.
I still remember few things – Biswajit sir’s name for me – Pagani panda.
How I acted as a meditator for my friend's love story then suffer from asthma and my own disease then struggle for medical etc.
ALAS! My parent's hard work money and my whole labor go in vain when CHSE RESULT TURNED SO BAD – The year when I passed my 12th, the whole Odisha result was only 50%, You can search on google or get the CHSE board result the year I passed my 12th, why?
The year I passed my 12th many changes happened in the exam system and syllabus and many things; due to this we have got old question paper. So that period was super unlucky for me, I cried like hell. I never ever want to remind those days; I am frankly speaking. Those days gave me pain only. I am not telling lies.
All CHSE BOARD students in that
year will accept this fact. This is something not happened with me, many suffered,
many good students failed in math due to the old syllabus. I luckily passed due to
my gene; my father is Ph.D. in math so I am good at math too.
My engineering Life –
Whenever I remind myself of this period, I am in a
transition mode between medical and engineering. I believe a person can’t exist
2 places at 1 time, I was trying to do that. I want medical but in engineering.
I could make my engineering life better but it is all about me who make it hell,
for this I’d never ever blame anyone. But yes! engineering life opened my 3rd
eye. When I was with HOD – My project mentor I wanted to do M-TECH and wanted to
research. when I was with my studious friends – I wanted to become IAS. when I open
my laptop sometimes, I wanted to become a writer, whenever I see people singing, I
wanted to become a poet as I can’t be a singer as I tried using my mobile then I felt
people will laugh at me, better do something else. I wanted to be all; therefore,
I was not happy with my life and never let my parents be happy. I was living
in the future than the present. I didn’t want to live in the present moment, I was anxious
about my future, I felt like I can be anything whatever I want. But yes! during
those periods, I started writing, I publish my poet, I did great in my project papers,
and due to MTech dream at a time I cleared my 6 back papers in 3rd
year (5th semester) then no more back papers. I contact many good people, attended many events and joined NGOs.
whenever I look back and see what I did during my last 4 years, during my
engineering days, I feel disappointed that I never ever had any good life or
good memories with my friends rather than I had done so many things. But! how
does it change my life?
Do I become a successful writer?
Do I become a famous poet?
Did I crack GATE to get a chance to study
Bioinformatics in IIT, NIT or IIIT as this branch is rarely available.
Did I get a 5-lakh package?
Did I turn into an entrepreneur?
Did I turn into a social activity?
Did I do anything which is really remarkable?
No, it only gave pain to my parents, me and damage my mental health. Sometimes I
need proper therapy or a mentor who could guide me on what I am doing, everyone was just praising me but no one could tell where should I end up if I do like this? This was my
major drawback during my college days, which makes me an irritating and depressed
person at the end of my engineering.
Summary: High dream is good but it should
reach something, or else the high dream has no sense. Always plan for your
future journey. If you search me on google you will get many writing and poems
during 2012-13 etc., as I was in a transaction mode. Therefore, I want to be a
career counselor as a part-time or therapist, just a generic term to help someone,
as I realize maybe some part of the world someone is suffering like me, who possess
such personality.
My MBA career:
In the end, I want to submit myself to the divine.
I wanted to do my MBA, I had many other options as well, but I choose SRI SRI
due to Sri Sri Ravi Sankar. I want to get a blessing for my future life, I realized
I spoiled my life and I couldn’t do anything. I am not saying in Sri Sri or AOL
, all are 100% good but guruji is not like that so trust him and leave
everything aside. We are living in a karma bhumi, where we have to live all
types of lives but guruji is living satwik life or sage life.
So, my pain ended here – In my whole MBA
career, I did nothing except my studies stopped writing blogs and all stuff. Only
study and meditation, therefore I joined SRI SRI. I wanted to calm down and more
focus on my life goals.
Let’s talk about my all-funny activities.
I had many brothers in Sri Sri and I love
them a lot like anything and I truly mean that. From Sri Sri University, I started
loving Marathi and south guys, they were not my friends, they are my brothers. I
can say anything to them, I can fight, and then, in the end, I cry and hug them
telling them sorry. I don’t know I was not so emotional before but in Sri Sri I was
feeling emotions within me.
I
joined Tinder during that time, there is a story behind it, how it and why?
In our marketing class, once sir told us
about Floh, a dating app for professionals. I just search about dating app and I
find out dating app is more trending app now. After that, I thought lets' use such an app for an upcoming b-plan. But I seriously dump about dating means
sex matters. I thought dating means just date a guy, go hotels for dinner or Rome
as a BF kind or a site like Facebook type. I was so busy in research in between
I was ignorant about the fact that dating means sex. During that time one of
my junior from engineering life contacts me for b-plan help, as he knew I joined
many events and interested in entrepreneurship etc. I shared the Tinder b-plan
as I felt it was so fascinating.
I still remember during finance boring class, me, Kanchan and Payal were sitting together, we were chatting from tinder, no doubt I created the account but we all chat there. We were having fun. I never ever have any interest to have any bf, this is just for fun, Therefore my location was Mumbai whereas I was in Odisha. I created the account, just to chat and share my blog and get more reviewers and I know that on tinder many corporate people also there, I just talk with them to get ideas about corporate opening and corporate life, etc. and I never ever do anything in purpose, I do in the shack of stupidity. I was hard-core stupid during those days, my friends are more than me. I never ever had any bad intentions.:’)
Then I meet my engineering college life junior
who had a crush on me, he was in Xavier and he was my brother’s age. I told him, I
can be his mentor and I love him like my brother as I love my brother so much, I
love my parents and their choice is my final choice. I don’t care who is he. I only have a crush in my whole 30 years of
life, I never had any hardcore feeling for anyone, therefore sometimes I doubt myself and discuss with my parents, am I ok! is it normal to have no hard-core
feelings for anyone! Am I lesbian or straight, that also comes to my mind sometimes?
My banaglore experience –
After my MBA, I came to Bangalore even
after getting a placement offer at NOIDA. I never wanted to be in sales, so it
was my choice. Bangalore never ever disappointed
me ever, either it comes to journey or it comes to job or cooperation, every
time I got support.
I got many good jobs offers but out of them
I choose only 2 which I felt convenient for me.
In a job in axis – for the first time I learned so many things like – live-in relationships and words like manic and desperate, etc.
It was difficult for me sometimes as I do many stupid activities but sometimes
in the core of my heart, I ask many questions, which I don’t feel good to ask my parents,
don’t like to ask my friends too. But 2 of my idiot friends describe those in a
shameless way, which eventually made me a mature person. Why there is a reason
behind it.
One my junior during my engineering – who is
like my brother, he was sharing his life as in foreign he didn’t have many friends
so he trusted on me, therefore he can say anything he wanted. I am not a person
who gets excited about it, he knows well.
Another guy- who was studying, he was a kind
of lead, as he had work experience and he was a very good student, he helped me to prepare me for interview and question and answer preparation to crack in good companies.
Initially, I didn't have an idea, what is call centers, what is inside sales, what is sales, etc. I was fully confused, he cleared all of my doubts regarding jobs.
About Tinder – I stopped using that, when I
was in my job, one day one guy, a very close friend laughed at me and told me what
you do on tinder. How many guys you meet? You feel bad when someone touches you
in an indirect manner, he said. I asked him at that time, what is tinder – he told me it is
a paid or professional sex. Then I felt it so bad, oh god! I scold everyone who
didn’t inform me about this. For 2-3 days I didn’t come to the office when I knew
about it.
Another problem is – I have hypersalivation
problem, that makes me feel embraced, I show to many doctors, everyone is
saying, everything is fine but you need to drink much water and prescribe me
medicine but that is temporary. Sometimes I feel like I am just a dog in a
human version. I feel embraced many times feel very bad about myself when I am in the corporate sector. I can’t share my problem or I can’t treat it well.
When I was in Bangalore, I didn’t have so
much salary that I can afford any good apartment, I can pay up to 7k and my
parents told me strictly only pg. and where the owners stay, no any random pg. Fulfilling
all requirements and alone was really difficult within job life. My parents love
me much at the same time too strict, I can’t attend any late-night party or
anything. I think about switching to Maharashtra. Maybe my destiny was waiting at Maharastra.
But Bangalore never ever disappointed me, yes!
I faced many problems then every time my problem gets resolved.
GOOD MEMORIES –
- Many good friends
- I lost my mobile behind atm and
without my smartphone for 3 days then after 3 days I get my mobile back by
night 11 pm due to some good people. They were really too kind.
- I came to airport from my pg.
at morning 4 pm, too safe. Travel alone to Koti Shivalinga and many more.
- No bad memories, when my pg.
owner cheated me in money and kept my 10,000 and I cheat to next owner and told
them to get my all-pg. money from them, as 1st pg. owner replace me
there so they both knew each other. These things I can able to do in Bangalore
:D
Freelancing Career
I feel freelancing is the only career where I can prove myself and my work and I can showcase the whole world – see! this is what I have done and this is what I am. Here no one can prove me wrong, as I am doing all these from my end and I have proved my all works.
I felt like
after so many exams – God shows me a path where I can showcase my hard work and
which actually prepares me for future corporate life. I want to join corporate with a handful of experience in different project works, which will be enough to
describe me and my work.
Let me help me to showcase my expertise –
- Zilli – I was handling 20+ members
and most of them have good quality work. When Mi safe browser was banned in India,
many people become unemployed so I was there who lost her team. Not only me, but many were also there. As this is freelancing, one person can’t keep everyone happy. So,
he/she much choose someone whom he/she know before. Therefore, the leader chooses
someone whom they know. Out of 8 teams, they close all teams and keep all in 1
group. so that all can earn well. I accept that, if I’d b in that position then
I’d prefer someone whom I know already or who are my relatives. I want them to be a monetary benefit during the covid situation. I can’t make everyone happy during that period. I need to be selfish!
- Trell – I got the client from On my end, all 15 members performed too well, all have 100% accuracy rates
without any major mistake. Working in trell is much difficult than Zilli, as zilli has only 2 tags whereas trill has 12-18 tags, so it Is possible.
- I worked for OLYF; my team is
handling their digital marketing work for the last 6 month as a freelancer
- I worked for many different good project works, as per the agreement I can’t disclose their names, once it’s done. I can share. I can share my productivity. That much I can do. I don’t have time to talk and discuss and do random stuff. I can present myself through my work and that is my motto now as a freelancer.
5)
I have now enough source to
showcase, when the time will come, I’ll disclose my client’s name then work I did
for them.
I realize that I have a dream and it is worth enough
to struggle.
Still, I dream for to become a rewon social
worker, writer, and poet along with a popular marketing consultant /personality One day. I
know I am not too old to achieve that. My God is there with me, I know I am
doing all these without any intention to harm someone. Doing something for
yourself without hurting or harming someone is not a crime, THAT IS CALLED REAL
DREAM OR LIFE ACHIEVEMENT!
I promise to myself I am not going to stop my writing and stop exploring my talents!
I'll excel more and more, let the people know me from my work!
Corporate Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZv8zBF_lSg4jhgtO02cd2A
PPT - https://www.slideshare.net/swetapanda2 (College time - Henceforth you will get all corporate materials)
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/swetaleenapanda/ (I'll update more blogs here)
Upwork - https://www.upwork.com/freelancers/~0153c442596a4ff77c
My E-resume: https://swetaleenapanda109.wixsite.com/my-site-1/publications (Not connect to any domain, Just for reference)
It's time to grow more and achieve more, Unstoppable!
