.png "My Open Diary")
Most of the time I feel
like I have got a different life means purely UNIQUE, it's different from
normal people; you can say unnatural or crazy kind of life. Sometimes I really
feel irritate & sometimes I just wanna give up.
I don't know what I’ll
explain & how?
It’s a different story
from the beginning, sometimes I feel like I am super unlucky for myself. I am a
great failure personality as well as unluckiest person in this world. Whose
life is full of problematic & sorrowful?
sometimes I wonder
"AM I A SINGLE PIECE IN THIS WORLD OR SOMEONE IS ALSO LIKE ME EXISTS"
, yeah I have seen poor people , I have seen failure people . But my life is
not like them it's a kind of different. Which my words also can't explain. What
kind of life it is, even if I’ll explain NOT BODY WILL BELIEVE, I KNOW IT VERY
WELL.
I am not blaming anyone
here for my life , I ma blaming myself & my God who send me to this world ,
sometimes I wanna know what the reason behind my life , what the real purpose of
my life . Why my life is so problematic & controversial than others.
WHY I AM DIFFERENT FROM OTHERS,
WHY MY LIFE IS SO DIFFERENT THAN OTHERS.
Some questions makes me
irritate most of the time; even I always try to find out all the answers.
Why I am chosen or
someone also like me really exists.
I always face problems
in controversy,
I am a super
misunderstood person; where ever I go I face this same thing. IT'S NOT FAKE , I HAVE PROOF , I HAVE
MARKED IT, I HAVE FACED IT, EVEN FACING ALSO, EVEN MY ASTROLOGY (satabhisha
nakshatra in Aquarius) SAYS SAME THINGS (Don't believe it purely as not only your nakshtra or sun sign affects your life , many others factors also there which affects your life like - during your birth - position of moon & many more. I have less knowledge in it ). Its GIVE ME PAIN WHEN PEOPLE
TAKE IT ADVANTAGE, IT ASTONISHED ME WHEN PEOPLE TAKE IT ADVANTAGE EVEN I DON'T
KNOW THEM PROPERLY.
Yeah, I don't believe so
much in astrology but sometimes I force to believe in those stuffs, as my life
force me to believe & force to find out all the answers alone.
I KNOW IT'S NOT EASY TO
FIND OUT STILL I WANNA , I always try to judge everyone , I always judge people
, their mind & their life . Because I always try to know whether anyone
like me really exists, whose life match with me or is there anyone really exist
who suffer like me. Who also face the same problem like me, I always try to
search my type of people so that it will be easy for me to solve my problems,
at least I'LL GET SOMEONE WHO WILL TRULY UNDERSTAND ME LIKE MY PARENTS. As no
one truly knows me in this world. people take me how they are , but I know how I
am ( I don't mean I need any GUY , I need a human being like me mostly
I prefer GIRLS . )
I really hate when
people take the advantage of it, I AM SAYING ABOUT ME - "I face lots of problems
without doing anything, I don't tell anything still people think I have told, I
have not done anything but my name is there, I never do anything wrong but
people blame me, even some cases are really unique where make me depress & surprise." MOST IMPORTANT IS PEOPLE ACCEPT THE FAKE BUT NOT ME. Which makes me irritate, I
try to tell truth but no one believes me.
SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE IS
THERE ANYONE PRESENT WHO REALLY BELIEVES ME OR LISTEN MY WORDS. But most of the
time I found no one. My life is a kind of irritating,controversial, painful,
struggling, failure & unique Life.
But I know my life is
better than those who can't get sufficient food & can't get a shelter for live,
can't get a school for read, even can't smile a day. This kind of people also
exists in this world.
so when ever I think
about my problematic life I think about these people which make me feel like I
have got everything , this thought make me strong even encourage to move
forward. If they can why not I.
Now they are my reasons
to smile, so my purpose of living is to make them smile. That's the
reason I wanna help those whose life is like this , I have everything still I
know the meaning of pain , failure & struggling so I wanna help those
who have nothing. As whenever I feel pain I place myself in their position
& feel their life. So I can understand their life, that's the reason I
wanna help them. I wanna help how much I can, THIS IS MY LAST DREAM IN MY LIFE.
WHAT EVER I DO OR WHAT EVER JOB I'LL GET MY SOLE MOTTO IS TO MAKE SOME PEOPLE SMILE,
AT LEAST SOME KIDS, I LOVE TO MAKE SOME LIFE BRIGHT. AS I KNOW D MEANING OF
PAIN SO I CAN UNDERSTAND THEIR PAIN TOO. MAY BE OUR LIFE IS DIFFERENT EVEN I
HAVE A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY & I HAVE EVERYTHING. STILL MY LIFE IS DIFFERENT
WHICH MAKES ME WORRY MOST OF THE TIME. WHEN EVER I FEEL LIKE GIVE UP THEY ARE
THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO INSPIRE ME NOT TO GIVE UP, THEY INDIRECTLY HELP ME. SO I
CAN'T BE SO MUCH SELFISH, I'LL HELP THEM HOW MUCH I CAN.
PS – This article not related
to anyone, neither my college nor my friends , no one else. This is my heartfelt
story about me !