MY RECENT RUMORS AND LIFE

Sometimes I ask my lord what Kind of Life you have given me , I am include under human or zombies , who has no heart or who can’t feel anything. I don’t think so. (Zombies are not present, present only in English movies.)

After staying near about 3 yrs of life alone in engineering or can say an introvert life, people started calling me introvert personality and some people spread rumors like “I have health problems that’s why I love to stay alone or heart broken or I can’t speak well or I am a bad communicator or I have problem with my leg that’s why I can’t move anywhere.” These are the rumors spread by those who literally hate me and try to suppress that news or those cases what happened with me or which affected my career. It’s too complicate. Every life has a story, I also have, but my situation is slightly different from common people like I have problem with only dream issues and I born with different personality slightly different from common people that’s why people call me mad most of the time. I marked, nobody wants I should make my dream true, don’t know why? What’s problem with me. Whatever! I am on my way right now. Keeping my “lord sai” within my heart.

How much I try to be social, I face that much problems. Sometimes some rumors astonished me - Like

IS IT HAPPENED WITH ME THEN WHEN? WHO ARE RELATED???

AM I SUFFERING FROM ANY DISEASE OR I BORN WITH SOME DEFECT?

I HAVE PROBLEM WITH MY FAMILY, I AM UNSOCIAL?

I MORE ATTRACTED TOWARDS FOREIGNERS AND MUSLIMS???

Like this many more rumors now a days I am facing but don’t know who is spreading and why?

My list of rumors?

People are talking about my age?

Some people are spreading rumors like I am old like they were present in my birth time or they were my parents or uncles or aunts or elder “sisters or brothers”? Ok! If you have problem with my age , come and see my birth certificate, but before wanna see my Birth certificate show your first. I am ready to show as I know my actual birth day spread all over internet + college admissions. But I have seen many people have 2 different date of birth (what I didn’t know before) one is actual and another is educational. So show me your first then I’ll show you. ON 2014 JUNE 27^th my parents celebrated their 25^th birthday, so my age must be less than that. I have seen people have 25^th  actual ages as per their parent’s marriage year IN GENERAL but show something different in media. It’s ok. You can do this even all do. I don’t have problem but I have problem with those who spread fake news Or if you are happy with spreading fake news then you can do but you can't change the TRUTH AND MY BIRTH TIMING .

Check out this link - https://www.facebook.com/sweta.panda/media_set?set=a.669499919805571.1073741838.100002367085874&type=3

People spread news about my family

Oh please, it’s my family. It’s happens with    everyone’s family, some show it whereas some hide within them. It varies from person to person, I take them as Bas**** who spread news like I have problem with my parents or family, literally wants to kill me socially. As in India if your gender is female and you don’t have a supportive family means you are going to die mentally by everyone. Everyone knows about this. I know someone spread this to spoil me in silent way like how rumors spread in my life in general . But God will never forgive them. Its common everyone fight with their family members for different issues like when you are in student age you fight with your parents for education or career matters , when you are in elder age you fight for your love or freedom etc , it varies from person to person , but some knowingly spread about me as they wants to show before the world that I don’t have any supporter neither family nor friend . some wants I should behave like saint , this is true that except my parents no one left with whom I can fight and share my sorrow. So some knowingly do this. I know. But don’t know who is that . That’s the main reason now where ever I go people are commenting me just like MY LIFE IS MEANINGLESS. I don’t know who is spreading news about my family , if I got to know I’ll never forgive them , forget about me , I pray who is doing this , HIS/HER family should separate then only they can understand how it feels when rumors speared .

People have problem with my love life

I am seriously loved with someone, literally committed, Can’t think about any other guy even any most handsome guy too. love happens once but for lifetime ,but my love is different , it’s a kind of impossible love .Don’t know about future , but my parents wants I should marry as least they’ll feel secure even I too (TRUE) but I’ll decide as per my time , at least after 1 year I can decide either I’ll marry or wait . But I promise to my parents I’ll marry soon, but as per my choice but their acceptance. I know my parents, they can’t reject my choice. I not only chose from heart but also from mind too.

People spreading news like I have bias feelings

I don’t have but people knowing create these. I told: what? even I don’t know and in which situation. People are using it in every time and in everywhere. I become victim of bias feelings but I never allow others to become victim even do by myself too, Now it’s act as a big obstacle before my success , some use it as main weapon to down me. Let me live , don’t know what gonna be my future and where I am going to establish but wherever I’ll go I’ll work for them and will love them if they will support me and give me their little love. I don’t want to be politician but I wanna a better life with love. Now I am failure personality still you can’t see my little success then when I’ll success you people will kill me , I am not saying my situation says , I can’t elaborate all (My all of situations).  This is true.

FINAL WORDS ABOUT MY DREAM AND CAREER ISSUES AND RUMORS

Most of the time I feel like I have got a unique life because of my past life experiences, I know, in this world everyone facing problem ,some are facing problems which may be very worst than our thought but what I am facing that’s a kind of unique . My situation is like where I born, my own birth place people hate me and trying to down me , in this situation how and why i’ll blame the outsiders ? my own birth place means not my family or parents , it’s about native place people but outsider means not my family members , till now I hide many thing with in me as i fear i may face more problems due to saying truth, I lose my marks in my important period due to my openness and globalization feelings. Now people are mocking at me and question me like why I didn’t get placement in college time and some blame me like  I am poor in study etc. by the way truth is different, many truths are there which i wants to share, politics or what i don’t know. Even my parents are also facing problems for me , which hurt me more. I don’t know why , it’s true in odisha You gotta find less women who are famous either in business or studies or any different filed except GAME (SEARCH IN GOOGLE BY YOURSELF TOO , IF YOU HAVE DOUBT ON ME). As we never allow, we feel inferior complex when we see our girls rise than our boys. That’s truly happening in our society, how much I enter into the depth that much idea I got to know about the world. I have seen how some people helps their people in rising but my case is different , recently while I applied for my entrance exam application , one person (is in higher post) asked me – “why you people are applying in other colleges outside odisha , why you don’t apply for colleges inside odisha like there is no college inside odisha” . I wants to answer him that I have studied 2 best colleges in Odisha, 11^th and 12^TH  in KIIT UNIVERSITY- “famous private college” and Engineering in IIIT BBSR-“famous government college” , Full time education not part time or distance education (SEARCH IN GOOGLE BY YOURSELF TOO , IF YOU HAVE DOUBT ON ME) but I become victim due to my higher dream , many students are there but don’t know why me (MAY BE MY LIFE IS UNIQUE) in both cases but different time different cases , in private I didn’t get good lecture even spending lots of money at that time now they have (KIIT care for it’s students , IT’S TRUE) ,In government IIIT (I become victim due to my high dream , problems with my friends but all blame me and in the end I become victim of losing my dream career without having any fault) , SO TELL ME WHY  SHOULD I JOIN IN ODISHA COLLEGE . I saw one Oriya guy , he is from koraput but he got chance to read in SRM Chennai , there he got chance to show his poetry work in US and he got first prize too , he is very famous for his poetry too . he is an electrical engineer but now he is pursuing his dream in poetry career even he is involved in social work too He is also 2014 passedout , But My situation is totally different from him, I become victim due to my writing , I criticized and blamed finally have to lose my dream , i always ask one question to myself what I got here Nothing , only failure, I have all answer but whom I’ll say as I know even I say truth people take it fake , but I didn’t say any single word to his question as he is a eldest one therefore my expression was -  smiling face and move on. WHAT KIND OF TORTURES I GOT , I KNOW, MENTALLY AND FAILURE IN CAREER. I don’t know why my own people are not supporting me ,NOW MY MAIN DREAM IS TO PURSUE MY NEXT CAREER IN KERALA , I wants to go there , now I am praying before my lord give me chance to read there or work there. my dream place in India as I can’t go foreign immediately as I don’t have much money specially for education , yeah ! I can go if I’ll get job.

My life is full of problematic and no one is here to support me for my dream , one thing hurt me most people behave me so rudely here , I am just like worthless or I don’t have anyone in my life. I can’t share what I am facing from outside world. it’s unbearable even those who knows me well my all near dear people says “you are slightly different from normal people that’s why you can’t tolerate this world” . but I have to rise , don’t know what I’ll go , where I’ll go to pursue my dream , I am ready to do hard labor but in return I need result of my work , I can’t see my dreams murder by others. I am serious. I have many haters even I don’t hate anyone’s am a great misunderstood personality, I am saying to someone but many people take it personally. People take me as free, they can behave me as per their wish even can say. What I am?

I just wanna escape myself out here as soon as possible . in case if I’ll die tomorrow that’s because of this cruel society , I am trying to change others , I wants all should rise , open heart to all globalization + development , no bias feelings and unity but I always victim of others complicated minds .

Now my life is in very painful mode -onside I don’t have much money to left this country another side I may don’t have much talent that Good foreign companies can hire me immediately without 2 to 5 years experience certificate , I wants to study but still in doubt whether I can get that branch where I can rise , I don’t know what I’ll do but this is true I may not fit for company jobs as I possess different personality , my problematic life shows me a RED SIGNAL , may be company jobs are not secure for my future , I may face problems due to my external problems , Now I can’t understand where I’ll go and what I’ll do even I am not from billionaire family that I can start my own business , i need money to rise and to make my own dream true. Now only God can save me, as he knows the truth, I become victim of others complicate minds to down me more.

I hate all these, one things hurt me very much I don’t have any personal life , I can’t share my problems with my parents by phone too as whatever I speak anywhere either “on road or any place” I feel like many people gotta know what I am saying , which hurts me …slowly slowly I am feeling like I am not human , as I can’t be angry or share my problem and frustrations etc etc , if I’ll then people start talking about bad about me . Huh , I never thought one day my life will be like this . NOW I AM SEARCHING DIFFERENT WAYS HOW I CAN ESCAPE MYSELF OUT OF THESE , SERIOUSLY SAYING. I FEEL SUFFOCATING.

Sorry! I don’t have much time to write an article, I am seriously busy now as I have to do many things within these months, JOB+ CAREER. Kindly forgive me for my silly mistakes. I wrote articles to share my feels. PERSONAL LIFE !

NOW I HAVE ONLY ON ANSWER TO ALL -WAIT ! AND WATCH , WHAT I GONNA DO ?

I'LL NEVER GIVE UP, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!