.png "My Open Diary")
Valentine day is lover’s day, this
day we show our love to our loved one .This day especially important for those
who can’t give time for their loved one.
We
celebrate 7 days continuously, February 7 to
February 14th. Starting from Rose day & end with Love,
this is simple beautiful process. When I was in standard 5th for the
first time I got to know about it, I always dream to be committed when I was
child / young stage. but due to my education I keep myself out from these love issues
, Love was always play a tertiary role in my life , my career & dream was ,
is even will be my first priority but Now I realize
the importance of love in my life as I got to know without love life is
meaningless & we all need it badly. Love need
not to be perfect but that should be true. I don’t need a person who is
very perfect as we are not perfect at all even I also so why I expect a perfect
person but I need a person who love me truly that matters a lot in my life.
When
I was child / young I always dream that when I’ll be grow up I also have a boy
friend, he’ll give me rose & chocolate as these
2 are my favorite :P but time passed
& I passed my all teen love stage , now I realize why I can’t have any boy
friend even I never experience also even for 1 month . I may have many crush
but don’t have a single boy friend (lover). My life
passed & I was so busy in fulfilling my dreams I couldn’t get time for LOVE,
I forget that that also plays a great role in our life. People say many things
about me that, I am less romantic person as I hurt many times, ha! In crush everyone get hurt ;) for a short period.
How can I say I am in love if I never talk with that person in real life? even
my feelings change time to time, there is a huge different between LOVE & CRUSH. Till now whom I take as my crush
all may be my friend in school / college / social media , but I never talk with
them in real life. actually I can’t talk with those for whom I have feelings as
I can’t hide my emotions . So to hide my emotions I never talk with them as I
feel nervous before them. I may be less romantic person but this is true I
always search a person who loves me truly , for that person I can sacrifice
anything but always end of with heart breaking judgment , no doubt love is blind but my love definition is
different. 1st judge then love as you can’t replace that
person in future, so one & final. I am
ready to move that place where I can get my love but problem is environment
should favor + my dream also matters a lot. For my dream I sacrifice a lot. I
need a person who understand me, my dream too, who will cooperate me to achieve
my dream & never interfere with my success. I am & will be always with
that person & I know my love is perfect & true if I’ll get same amount
of love from that person. Actually I don’t have time to cheat as I always run
after my dream so he’ll be secure in my love matter. I need love but my dream
matters a lot.
I am from a ordinary background & no one is there who
cooperate me to achieve my dream except
my parents , we may fight
every time but I know they always wants to see me in success but they fear if
I’ll face any kind of problem in future as they loves me a lot . So they fear
to send me outside, they also know me & personality very well, that’s why I
am the big headache for my parents. I may be from ordinary family even I don’t
have sufficient money to make myself successful , but my parents invest lots of
money in my education to make myself that much eligible that I can stand alone
& fight to get success alone , I have seen people laugh at me due to my
failure specially those have money , but I feel pity on those as they don’t
have any originality they are getting all these things due to money power
whereas I am doing everything alone & what I got till now all are MY OWN EFFORT SUCCESS, I also don’t give highest
priority to money as you can earn it easily if your luck
favors + gets better opportunity , for earning money you don’t need to
be high qualify , I am talking bout my family – My both parents are highly
qualifies My papa is passed for Banivihar Univeristy & PG holder In MATH
& my mom was ARTS Graduate both are highly qualifies as per their time but
we don’t have enough money , whereas many people also there whose educational
background less than my parents but they are highly successful , so for getting
success many factors are responsible like LUCK +
COOPERATION, that’s why my parents don’t want what mistake they did in
past , we (me & my brother) do the same , therefore specially my papa
encourage me a lot “to study more & never give
up , Marriage is secondary” my papa failed to get success as he marry in
very early age , so he always suggest me 1st establish yourself
perfectly then think about marriage . Now My success is everything for me, but
for my dream I am facing lots of obstacles & no cooperation from outside therefore
I can’t chose anyone who never cooperate me in my dream, I don’t need
cooperation at least I don’t want that person should feel jealous for my
success as jealously is the main reason behind
relationship failure or break up, what I don’t want. So I always search
a person who understand me well & my dreams. I don’t care who is he or
where he belongs to. As I am a hunger of love where I get love my heart beats
for them. I have many drawbacks why till now I can’t get success, if my career
was in writing profession or artist profession may be I got success , Society
actually don’t support women for all kinds professions (Kind
request-Don’t take my words in negative sense , what I am saying that’s 100%
true . Judge by yourself), but I am different that’s why people comments
me I act like a boy/male. Nothing hurts me now, as I am habituated. Now my
prime work is how to get success in my life, I am
going to forget my Past failures & start my future again with fresh.
My eyes are on my dream profession, so I am struggling.
Many hidden small reasons are also there why I am unsuccessful –
1st
wrong career choice- 1st my dream was to get medical but when I
didn’t get medical means I got BDS BUT not MBBS , so I give up then join in
engineering but in engineering I have great interest in Electrical branch but
got Information Technology , which hurts me . when I started loving my branch I
already lose my 2 & ½ year , in engineering I was planning to sociology
& law , even I have books too . Finally , now I decided to join in M-Tech
in computer science field but as per my loving branch, let’s see what result I
am getting. for me Good branch + College matters a lot then join any college /
any branch , If further I’ll not get then I have to struggle again then I’ll
try for GRE what I planned , don’t know the
future. After doing 1/2 years of job then I’ll apply for GRE to pursue my dream career , if I’ll not get GATE means a good renown government college in
INDIA like IIT/NIT/IIITS/Government reputed
colleges like BHU/JNU/IIS/+++ etc , In GATE problem
is seat Number is less but applicants are more specially in Computer Science BRANCH , so you have to get ALL INDIA
RANK MINIMUM - WITHIN 2000 RANK & I am belongs to General so no reservation
too , Highly competitions. So I have lots of confusion what I’ll do.
Writing, paintings & rest creative works are my hobbies , not profession, due
to my foggy decisions I fail in career life. Now I already cross 22 years life
in confusion so now I am going to take right & strong decisions for my rest
future. What mistake I did in my career I don’t wants
to do same in my love life otherwise my life will be turn into hell .
You still can adjust with your career but when it comes to love you can’t. It’s
different than all, that’s why I am serious. So many different factors are
there why sometimes some people become more successful whereas some still in
that failure positions.
In
my future life I need a person who also helps me to get success not failure. Don’t
know about my next valentine /2016/. Wish, if I’ll get someone ;) (In jock) but
he should be a good loving person. I don’t problem with someone’s past as I am
going to live with him in his future , don’t need a great successful personality
as I know I’ll support him 100% to get success if he is dreamer & no need a
perfect person but a true lover . The
most important characteristics he should possess - good
, kind , loving person & the most important is He should give importance to
my dream too. I hate jealous people. I can sacrifice anything for him if
he will promise me to love me truly.
Let see what result I am getting
in future or further celebrate valentine like FOREVER ALONE :P
