A Form Of Autobiography Of Mine

Once upon a time

The storms capture the earth and blow its mind

That time I just born as a sun shine

I born in morning

When sun already touch the feet of earth to shine

And all most all storm were ready to leave

This is autobiography of my life

What my mom elaborates me

My life is going to begin from here

When I born I didn’t know the meaning of sorrow and pain

As I was the first child of my family

My life was beautiful when I didn’t meet this world in deeper way

Then I grew up and started dreaming high

Just like few extraordinary girls present under this sky

I started to prepare myself for ready in every situation

A storm came and spoiled everything

Just like my life itself a new version of storm

My dream became like dream to become school topper

After that, I just treated just like an useless material

Which has no worth in this present earth

People started doubting on my existence and talent

What they once expected from me everytime

I ruined many hopes over me

Many started treating me like hell , who once loved me a lot
for them today i am nothing

Then for the first time I realize the world is SO MEAN

They love you , because they are getting benefit for you

If you become topper then they’ll get more students

Otherwise who cares about you

There is no proper existence of a failure person

I forgot how to live a peaceful life

Many nights became sleepless

I still remember those days

When I was preparing for medical and plan to see as a doctor by myself

I usually made a small home for myself over my bed

As I love to read silently and alone even I stay in hostel

Every of my friends laughed at me still I love to live like that

Some break my house just like they feel it’s looks wired and how I get light and fan

Still I manage to say, it is tolerable for the shake of my dream

At that time, I was careless

As my dream fever was overpowering their bouncing words

I just wanted to keep myself strong and ready for my bright future

A dream which could change my life

Then again something happened and again I failed to make my parents please

Everyone slowly slowly stop hoping on me

My friends started laughing at me

My teachers started show sympathy on me

My family members started scold me for dreaming high and wasting money

My parents still keep faith on me

That was my biggest support in my life

At that time, everyone left myside

I still remember, many night goes sleepless

And my pillow knows my story well

My brother and my father who silently open the door in night

Just to check what I am doing

Am I crying or sleeping

Even though I couldn’t sleep I pretend to sleep

Then they keep books out of me and swich off the lights and left the room

As I was habituated with keeping my books with me as they turn my best friend

I couldn’t sleep If my books were not on my bed

My friends called me psycho and my parents get irriated

Still I love my books more than anyone else

They are like my sleeping partners

I still remember when people laugh at me calling looser and high dreamer

I didn’t have any answer to say

As they were right in their way

Some started calling me a fake topper and fraud genius

Still I was silent as I knew my time was against me

I had everyone still no one can see my pain inside me

Except few, those who see my struggle

These are that 3 people in my life

Which includes my parents and my brother

Still now also everyone blame me saying I didn’t do my job perfectly

Those friends who laughed at me just because I didn’t get medical

When they also didn’t get they repent their mistakes, why I was crazy during medical timing

Some joined in private, some joined in private engineering and some married after a while

At that time I started excel, I got IIIT and some other better options

Which a kind of bonus to my life

Even though I loss anything still this little hope enough for my family

My family struggle a hard for me

As when I cry and live like dead

They couldn’t bear that pain

In 12^th I suffered from severe asthma

Even though I spend lakhs rupees in my education

All went vain due to health issue in last time

My time never ever supported me when I need it badly

Even during my medical exam too

I still remember my health issue just before 2 weeks of my medical exams

May people ignore these facts but those who live with me , they can’t say No !

They see my pains and sorrows

I also don’t know why always tragedy happens in my life during major points

Sometimes I feel like is it my karma effect or god has a different planning for me

Still I manage saying “God is not so blind”

Then again I move forward

My life is not less than any kind of dramatic life

It seems funny and sometimes very emotional

Whereas I live it . so I know it

For others it may seems full drama or fake

My life don’t end there

I face hell lots of problem during my engineering time

For those mistakes which I never ever did

My mistake was LOVING OTHERS unconditionally

My mistake was helping others unconditionally

Then I became alone after giving everything to everyone

Even though they don’t deserve

At that time in my face there were 2 things smile and silence

I never ever beg for any kind of help

As I never ever show myself helpless and week

I don’t like to pretend myself as a dump and fool before my enemies

Still I did a blunder mistake but telling my life truth before everyone else

Through my life message in my blogging

Those who hate me they got the clue of my weakness

And they again hit me back with those points

Still I never ever lost hope to make my dream true

And my parents watering the plants of hope within me

They still have faith in my life and god

But they didn’t know God is much cruel and sometimes he act like blind too

My parents are innocent and fool

That’s why they again gave me chance to become scientist in my career

Again I failed and same story repeats

However now this time I come with different form

I joined in MBA,

At first I was bloody fool

Then I realize my mistakes in my life and realize that I was the murderer of self

Some people take my weakness seriously

And try to target on those points again

Some took my life issues in a different sense

They try to make my life hell

As it already

Some try to compare my life with my past life mistakes

Some try to tell me –

If you are not accepted in your past then you are also not going to be accepted anywhere else

Some people perception was too bad about me due to my weakness and my blogging

Finally I realize the bitter truth in my life

Being good and lovable person is a biggest crime

Get out of your comfort zone

And tell them your existence

A person is not bounds to tolerate same thing in different ways

My engineering issues based on LOVE AND HELP

Not rest of my life

I gonna change my whole DNA of my past mistakes

I realize the fact that

It’s better to be a new version of self to make a better future for myself

My life has a simple rule

Treat me well, I’ll treat you better

Leave me like worthless, I’ll pretend you like I never ever meet you

I may lose my mind when I am in love

But my heart know for whom it should beat

People says heart cheats

My heart is stronger than ever

After a long time it learnt how to perform better

Now I fall in love with myself even more than before

As I realize that I gonna be my best friend till my last ever

I don’t know who gonna come in my way

Still I have faith one day sun will shine in my life

I’ll get LOVE AND SUCCESS, what I deserve

I believe Love is blind and I also believe in fairies too

I believe miracle happens and fairies also exist to make your life perfect living

I am also waiting for that day

When I’ll get someone who deserve for my emotion

And I’ll make my parents feel proud of myself

As their role in my life is remarkable and not replaceable

Today I see a different version of me and i proud of that too

I believe in this world if u are going to get what you deserve

Adapt the present world’s new version

Otherwise you gonna lose the battle in your life

I am waiting for a new sun shine in my life with a new version of me

As I promise to myself, I am not going to tolerate anything less than I deserve

I am not born to tolerate everything what I get

I born to explore

In past I was innocent and fool

Now I am wise enough to fight my own battle

Now I realize the world is changing so better to change a new better version of self

This is my new version of autobiography

Waiting when my autobiography will turn into real version of me

One day I’ll share my story, when my dream touch the castle

My memories may inspire many

And after that I never stop singing my life song

Wish! God give me chance to do this before my physical death

As I also don’t know how many days left in my hand

If praying could solve my life problems

Then it could solve many untold problems of mine

Still I hide within me with a hope that one day God will help me to shine 

He is not so blind

One day my untold story turn into a real one

I am waiting for that day when miracle will happen in my life

Now, just praying is in my hand