.png "My Open Diary")
SOME CHOICES ARE PRE-WRITTEN (PERSONAL CAREER AND LOVE)
(Do you believe on this , i believe)
Sometimes life put in difficult
situation -
Where u want to see - LIFETIME PAIN OR SHORT TERM PAIN.
Short term gain and Life time pain or Life time gain and short term pain- whatever it may be, I always go
with my DREAM.
Facing or experiencing the problem or understand the reality different from person to person - People understand the reality after
they face , If I was not stupid enough then If i’ld not follow my dream and I could
live a ROYAL LIFE NOW (I am frankly
speaking) as per my education .
If I don't dream for Medical or
higher studies like RESEARCH & BEING a SCIENTIST (WHAT MY PAPA ALWAYS
CRITICIZE & I KNOW HE'LL NEVER EVER STOP BLAMING ME FOR THIS and I HAVE TO
LISTEN AS I DREAM HIGH). But now I fall in different category, still I never
lose hope even stop dreaming too.
I always believe that no matter what
- Never ever stop dreaming high, who knows when miracle will happen and when
GOD change your luck line and make you a person , what you always DREAM for.
I always MOTIVATE myself in this way
- as I always have faith on me that , ONE DAY
MY LIFE'LL CHANGE DRASTICALLY AND THAT TIME IS NOT SO FAR .
Every successful people have painful stories,
sometimes your stories make you more famous than your work as it inspire many
people to work for their DREAM.
My chosen paths never ever lead towards wrong - May be it takes some time but I always have faith on God and his
choices that one day i'l get what i deserve most.
Now also my papa repent that why I
didn't go for DENTIST like some of my friends. Now I can have a stable life , Good money with life . I
know he'll always blame me and himself for this (My papa -Biranchi Narayan Panda), but you should not be
papa.
Then in Engineering- instead of go for campus
placement in engineering - I choose to go for higher study where as many of my family
members suggested me to do job but my papa supported me for my bright future . For
this I feel bad about me as well as for my papa.
THEN JOINED IN MBA!
But it's true that - If I go for
medical career then most probably I’d marry now (by this year or next year most
probably or may be early as I was getting very good candidates while I was in
engineering 4th year like USA based doctor and IIT Engineer , US based as well , as per my qualification and Family background. I still remember my Roomie (Fareen) was too happy and suggested me to marry then again I advised her marriage is something "if it is good then
lifetime happiness , if it fails then life is hell . I don’t go for designation
or money , for me heart – character and ambition matters , I know one day I gonna
get BEST as per my choice as my God knows my choice very well") Even my papa always tell to everyone - No
one can force me to do anything without my interest .
Now my parents are asking - Can you
get good candidate for marriage now, as we lost many good candidates for your
DREAM IN PAST, WHAT YOU GOT INSTEAD, NOTHING!
Now I don't have any answer to say anything.
Frankly speaking.
Recently I gave advice to my AUNT (father's sister) for my sister, don't think about marriage - let her be stable in her
life first. Now most probably everyone is scolding - ARE YOU STABLE - MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY.
Still I manage to convince !
Yes.
Yes! Life always have many sides. So
better taste all sides so that by the age of 40 years you'll be more matured than the people of 70 years as life taught you all kinds of life lessons in
early age.
Now I already told my parents -
I forget about MY MARRIAGE & LOVE
so better you should forget that I am a GIRL (treat me as a SON like how you educate
me). I don't know my future even you should not be worry about, everyone's life
is not smooth - let my life refine me in better way. I am ready for all
challenges , that's why I just want to stay away from LOVE ( as that'll make me
WEAK and I don't want to be WEAK both psychically and mentally).
I believe LOVE & MARRIAGE are
already prewritten, so let God decide your LOVE LIFE if that is in your life then.
You just focus on your GOAL. That’s my life right now.
MY FUTURE IS TOTALLY INSECURE, so MY LOVE LIFE IS, Truth is! Till now
I never get anyone who can understand me completely. I love to stay in touch
with all but it’s very difficult to understand a girl like me. For whom DREAM
matters a lot even LOVE also. But everything has different value in my life,
which many people misinterpret.
Ha, forget about outsiders. Even
sometimes my PARENTS also confuse, what I actually want in my life and what I want
to do. But truth is, my parents always have faith on me that - whatever I am doing that
is right that's why they always support me still sometimes they also confuse in
many thing as frankly speaking - MY PARENTS ARE VERY
INNOCENT TO UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD and DREAM
LIFE IN THIS COMPLICATED as well as COMPETITIVE WORLD, that's why I
don't share everything except which they can understand better.
When people ask me , why I sometimes
suffer from DEPRESSION – I smile and say, I happy. I don't have any soul mate
or anyone with whom I can share my problems or worries as I cheated many times
in friendship so now I am just happy to be alone, at first I feel very uncomfortable
to sit silently and keeping my pain inside whereas now I am habituated with
this, it doesn’t mean I don’t love anyone or I am not socialize – Truth is ! I LOVE all, I have a kind heart, I don’t
like to see anyone in problem or don’t want to put anyone in problem as I JUST FOLLOW MY DREAM AND LIFE GOAL - My final dream is
to service to mankind through my GOAL. That’s it , for that I am struggling
hard , that’s my life simple but sometimes people make it complicated by adding
anything whereas my life is simple still very complicated to understand – when it
comes to my dream and my life journey towards my dream . Every time I can’t
explain also.
Let my God decide my life.
So here I want to say –
whatever decision I have taken, I actually don’t take my own. May my God put
that kind of thought in my mind? who knows what gonna happen in my future , may
be something great is waiting , that’s why my life is different than normal
people or can say mysterious one !
PS - MY CHOICES