U can’t hide Truth , My life is like an open book even I don’t fear to tell truth . I believe U CAN’T HIDE THE TRUTH , U CAN’T MODIFY THE TRUTH , AS TRUTH IS ONE & UNIQUE . U CAN’T DO ANYTHING WITH IT . If you wanna know my life read my all articles fully . I hope u can get whole idea about my life , my style . everything about me . ANYONE CAN SPREAD FAKE NEWS BUT NO ONE CAN’T HIDE TRUTH . Anyone can frightened you through false issues but no one can frightened you through truth . SO MY LIFE MY PRINCIPLE IS – LIVE LIFE LIKE DECENT WAY WITHOUT FEAR J Please read whole article – hope u all understand my life . My actual life started from here . as I spend my important period here J please read …… FULLY ….

GOT THIS FROM GOOGLE , NOT MY DIARY . BUT ONE DAY I'LL SHOW U . SURE . THROUGH BOOK !

U can’t hide Truth , My life is like an open book even I don’t fear to tell truth . I believe U CAN’T HIDE THE TRUTH , U CAN’T MODIFY THE TRUTH , AS TRUTH IS ONE & UNIQUE . U CAN’T DO ANYTHING WITH IT . If you wanna know my life read my all articles fully . I hope u can get whole idea about my life , my style . everything about me . ANYONE CAN SPREAD FAKE NEWS BUT NO ONE CAN’T HIDE TRUTH . Anyone can frightened you through false issues but no one can frightened you through truth . SO MY LIFE MY PRINCIPLE IS – LIVE LIFE LIKE DECENT WAY WITHOUT FEAR J

Please read whole article – hope u all understand my life . My actual life started from here . as I spend my important period here J please read …… FULLY ….

Hello friends,

Now I gonna share my whole hostel career, what are my mistakes & how I faced problems in my life, everything I have written here. How I turn into matured girl form a fool & stupid girl. I feel I have learnt many things from my life <Frankly speaking >. The 5years is sufficient to learn what I could n’t learn from my childhood days. But before blaming others I gonna tell what are my faults. Because no one is perfect even if I also. So now I gonna tell my faults then I’ll tell about others & I have marked people love to connect my name with everyone & blame me without any reason. But sorry till now I have no boy friend or any love issue. if you wanna know then read the whole article , hope u all understand me…neither in my school life nor in my present life but I always fall in the controversy , I don’t know why ? Why people love to spread rumors about my name.?  yeah, I am over serious about my career & dream as I know very well in this world, if you have no good name or no name in society then nobody will come to help you even if nobody understand you what you want & what you can do. I don’t need anyone to make me famous, I need little support , I have power to do everything by own but I need mental support . A little support does n’t mean I use them for my self-propose. So how can you take my every case in negative sense? I wanna get success but it does n’t mean I LOVE TO USE OTHERS OR I WANNA SHOW MY FAKE EMOTIONS LIKE LOVE…sorry, I am not that kind of girl. yeah, I love to make friendship even if I love to know about everyone but it doesn’t mean I can love everyone…I AM VERY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS LOVE ISSUE & I CAN’T FALL IN LOVE SO EASILY. YEAH, SOMETIMES I TAKE IT AS FUN PROPOSES BUT I DON’T TAKE IT GRANTED EVERY TIME  LOVE IS A GREAT MEAN TO ME & I RESPECT IT & BELIEVE IT SO MUCH…

MY FAULTS

1) I talk very less

2) Most of the time I live alone

3) I give more importance to my dream & career then any relation like friendship

4) Something which always hurts me like my childhood dream to become a doctor. It make me mentally weak. I can’t forget my failure & anything which hurt me a lot easily . 

5) I always silent whatever the situation comes that’s the reason nobody can feel what’s going inside me, I never clarify anything.

6) Little bit jealous about my career.

So these are my faults …. But I wanna rectify some of my personality, as these act as a wall in front of my success. I have no problems with my family or with any of my family members , I love to stay united & Big family , but I have problems with my friends, but why ? Sometimes I ask this question to me , what’s wrong with me, why my relationship with my friends is not perfect. Yeah, it’s true in today’s’ world if you will be complicated & double face then you will surely win this life race. Which I can’t do, neither I can be complicated nor double faced. Because I have seen the people who are double face they have many friends with very good relations. It astonished me, as I always make friendship truly, but I always fail to keep. What comes in my heart I always tell, yeah, sometimes it also rough type but I never like to tell lie or act as their well wiser. I don’t like show up.  But for this I always lose my friends. Sometimes I wanna change my nature & sometimes i wish to follow that worst path to get friends. But my heart says, it’s better to live with your principle, if someone truly know you then they will stay with you.

MY ALL STAGE PHOTOGRAPHY - MAINLY COLLEGE LIFE + CHILDHOOD DAYS + FAMILY + FRIENDS

NOW I GONNA START MY LIFE STORY FROM THE BEGINNING

1991-2007

I born in 1991 in baripada in Orissa. That was a stormy night, mean I born in the mind night 2’o clock, when the rain was raining heavily & no current was there. I born in the tragedy time means rain was raining heavily & even a stormy night. I have not experienced :D what my parents & RELATIVES describe me. That’s the reason People call me in many names related to storm & rain blew :P  I have not one name I have 1000s of name if anyone go to my village even in my family everyone call me in different name. as I was the only girl child at that time , so everyone love me even I also love everyone Even my nick name is “MAMUNI” that’s not given by my parents yeah my parents call me “MAMA”, “MAMUNI” name was given by our owner of the house where my papa & mama were living in 1991 , the couple have 5 sons & no daughter , they want a daughter as I was kid & even I was looking cute so that also take me as their daughter & gave me a new name “MAMUNI” & request my mom to keep this name for life long , that’s the reason now also my nick name is MAMUNI , at that time my papa was working in entrepreneur development job at first 1992 . That was a beautiful job but alas that company forced to shut down due to some reason, my papa was also a very well educated person. He was PASSED IN MATHEMATICS HONORS in Vanivihar Bhubaneswar . He was the handsome hunk in his time. He has participated many dramas,

MY PAPA WAS ACTING AS HERO IN HIS TIME - DRAMA IN PROTECT CHILD MARRIAGE (BANIVIHAR - MATH HONORS TIME)

even I have the pics also and even he was in many well positions in his college career. At that time lectures have no demands even he didn’t want to do job under state government so he didn’t join in lecture jobs. he wanna do something different , he had a different aim , he wanted to do MCA & wanted to see himself in a good position .even he had done the computer course , I am talking about 1988-89 case , he was a brilliant student but unfortunately he missed To join MCA so he bounded to join in entrepreneur job , even at the age of 24+ he entered into responsibility life means he married my mom , my mom married in my age “22” :P

my mom also well educated she was a ARTS student , she wanted to join in teacher job but due to family pressure she couldn’t as in our family married women were not allowed to go outside for job. At that time our family was conservative family. Specially my grandpapa , as he was a landlord at that time. His respect was greater for him. But after my birth 1991 after 5-6 months my papa got a job in central government job means in Railway. at first he think about give up but he joined for me, at first he had no interest still he joined as in railway you will get better payment even central government job even many facilities are there that’s the reason even he didn’t want he still join, he wanted I should get better education, Even he has many expectations on me. He wanted to see me a good person as well as a well educated person. That’s the reason he tried his best to give me good education, “he can compromise with his dress & his food but not with our (me & my brother) education or dress or food. He sacrificed many things for us. Which hurt me most of the time what I gave him?”  

CERTIFICATE OF MY PAPA 

When I born some people also there who hated me at that time as I was a girl child , of course that was 1992 time at that time also there was a difference between boy child & girl child. But after I grow up everyone started loving me due to my behavior & personality. Even till my grand mama’s death I even never scolded by my parents as I was the soul of my grandmamma, she loved me more than anyone else in my family. Of course I was the only child at that time in my family. Our family is a very small family , Landlord background family (Past-ancestors) even one son generation family means my papa, grandpapa & even his papa are the only son of their parents. Even I proud that my family is a well educated family. My grandpapa (My papa’s papa) was an agriculture officer & my grandpapa (My mama’s papa) was a mathematics lecture. So in our family education is the first priority .That’s the reason when my grandparents saw my good performance in my school they felt proud for me & having a granddaughter first.

My school days performance were very good, even every teachers loved me at that time.

MY PAST GOOD ACHIEVEMENTS - SOME I HV , SOME I BURNT !

https://www.facebook.com/sweta.panda/media_set?set=a.483215735100658.1073741836.100002367085874&type=3

I can’t remind when I stood second in my class as throughout my school life I stood first. My performance was good throughout my school life, if anyone wants ask anyone my parents or my relatives or my past school teachers they can explain you better than me Don’t ask My friends please :P  But I am a super unlucky girl, I never go for any tuition, my papa & mama was my teacher through out my school career they guided me every time. If I got success if I am fundamentally clear in my school life due to my parents & their guidance. But tragedy always occurs in the last moment & important moment in my life. Nearly at the mid time in 10^th board my grand papa falls in paralysis. actually he had gone for “4 DHAMA -THIRTHA YATRA”, due to his heart attack he admitted in DELHI HOSPITAL & After his treatment my papa came home with my grandpapa who was a paralysis patient, it indirectly harm my study as one side my relatives were coming to see my grandpapa every time another side my parents were busy in his service. I appeared my 10^th board in too much disturbance. Finally I got 80% in 10^th that was real tragedy for me. As I my dream was to secure more & even I have a dream college where I actually wanna study.  Due to so much disturbance my papa decided to send me to hostel so that I can read well there , I could study in government but my papa  send me to a privet college as there I can get good education + good hostel with all kinds of facilities even it will help me to become self independent & become mature . KIIT is purely secure for girls but sorry, not good for education purpose. But he did not know my condition will be worst there. I am responsible for my worst condition , as that was my first hostel life so I take everyone as my own , even I am very serious for my education , I take everyone as my family that was my greatest mistake I ever done  at that time.

My hostel life is from 2007 – 2014 

2007-2008

MY 12^th COLLEGE LIFE

I was so much excited to stay in hostel, as I felt boring in my home. Actually in my home & even if in our colony no one was in my age, so most of time I felt boring. When I heard I am going to hostel I planned many thing how I’ll spend my hostel life, as there will be no parents who will judge your works , so you can do anything. No one will be there to scold you or beat you. I was so happy. After reaching at hostel I made friendship with everyone, no doubt I was little bit shy nature but I too love to make friendship & talk with everyone. No doubt I choose one single room for myself, as from the beginning I can’t read in the crowd or where many people are reading, so I choose a single room for study propose. every parents came & they become astonished , how I chose to stay in a single room , they also asked me many questions about this single room means - why choose to stay here , you don’t fear to stay alone ??? But I found one uncle was there who became so happy after looking at me, he told me “what you will do at night if you will fear or any ghost will come <IN JOCK>,  I think you are a brave girl. it’s good u choose a single room , even if I also love to read in a single room , so in my PG TIME I CHOSE TO STAY IN A SINGLE ROOM & AFTER THAT I GOT IAS… so try your best to fulfill your dream. My blessing is with you.  ” his kind words brought tear in my eyes, as I also came there with lots of hope & dream. I thanked him. Then my time passed away, but I was very close with my side room, they were like my roommate. most of the time I spend there , that’s why many times our lady attendance scold me a lot as during study time I disturb my friends. At that time I was so curious to make friendship & to know everything about them. Even if my friends are also very co-operative. they also helped me a lot.nearly one yaer passed  . First year final exam time – there was a girl in my section ,who was my bench mate , we always sit together, one day she told me “I couldn’t stay with my roommates . She is disturbing me, can I stay with you at least in exam time”. Then I allowed her, as exam time is very vital & how much I give importance to my exam that much importance I give to others also. I believe her blindly & I allowed to stay with me till exam end. She was a good student but poor in mathematics & chemistry. My Prime work was to teach her math & chemistry everyday. At least I gave my 3- 4 hours to teach her & I also too love to teach others. In home also I teach my brother & my younger brothers & sisters. I too love to teach others. Days passed & at last my one year completed, after coming from vacation we came to know that we have to change our hostel. Actually at first we were staying outside hostel, after one year in our campus our hostel work completed, our superintendent told us to choose your room mate. at that time my bench mate told me , she wanna stay with me, as we are from one section even if I was studious & she also , so she also need a girl like me & her roommate also tortured her a lot. So I allow her & another girl was there whom I loved so much, as she was very innocent. I love to talk with her, so I chose her as my room mate. We were so happy in our new hostel.  According to their demand I gave that bed to stay, as I know we have to stay one year together, so I was trying to manage my room in a good way. My room was odd type, means sunlight was not passing properly & I can’t stay a room without sun light. Seriously telling, as I was like a patient at that time. After coming hostel means “KIIT” I could n’t care  my health , as it was my first hostel life & I didn’t know how to do my own work also, so I fall ill most of the time & I was my own doctor. My papa had given me some medicine to take when necessary, but I took as I want.  So my condition was very bad & second- light was not passing properly, my bad luck. Alas, at least we have to spend one year there, so we try to manage. My condition was totally worst; in day time also we have to switch on the light because of me as no light was coming to my bad. Still I managed. We were happy, but one day one case brook my heart. one night one of my roommate whom I love so much , her condition became so bad , she was vomiting so much & high fever , but when I begged help to my other roommate she told me please don’t call me otherwise I’ll vomited , so I clean the whole surface . no doubt it was a painful experience because I also can’t bear any kind of bad smell , but I had to as her condition was very bad & she was not in the position to talk . so my whole night became sleepless , but in the next morning when I was in bathroom she told my ill roommate that I didn’t call her, if I called her , then she could help her .”so sorry for that , I couldn’t help you yesterday night even if I didn’t know”. But my other roommate knew me very well as she was staying in my block & I also loved her so much. So she didn’t belive her words at first. No doubt I didn’t know about this matter, but one day I came to know about all these cases. Days also passed, my condition became worst day by day, finally I felt if I’ll not tell my parents about my condition then I’ll die. As I was took medicine whenever I felt like fever & one time came no medicine worked properly , at that time my condition was really very worst I could n’t  sit properly & every time I was sleeping. No doubt outside I was looking like healthy but inside i was dying. My exam was also over my head, after coming to new hostel my health became very worst, I couldn’t concentrate on my study. Because most of the time I was in sleeping condition. I usually sleep 6 hours but at that time I nearly slept 10-11 hours. It really hurt me a lot, one side my final BOARD EXAM & another side my MEDICAL ENTRANCE preparation. I was trying to read but my condition was very bad , at first I could n’t understand what is going – but after two month I felt , I am sleeping due to my disease, which I didn’t know. So I informed about this to my parents, after coming from medical I was severely scolded by my papa, as my condition was so bad & I didn’t inform him. MY BLOOD-PRESSURE WAS LOW & IT WAS THE PRELIMINARY STAGE OF ASTHMA & JAUNDICE, AT A TIME BOTH.  so my parents & my uncle didn’t allow me to go hostel, there for I stayed at my uncle’s home for 7 days but I had to go hostel because of  my monthly test & attendance . My main problem was if I’ll not attend the class then how I can understand those. one side high power medicine & another side busy routine ( 7 AM –  5 PM ) But I had no problem , I also slept  in my class room, no doubt I always sit in the first bench but when I felt sleepy I went to the last branch & slept there. It was not my mistake, my high power medicine side effect. One monthly test finish but I secured very poor mark in every subject, especially math, where I never secured less than “25” out of “30”. in that monthly test I secured  only “8” , I remembered , how my mam scold me , even if she told me to leave the class for this kind of number. as 1-2 times I had got the highest mark  in my class , mam though I am not reading properly , that’s why I got this kind of result , she also loved me  lot. but it hurt me a lot so I told her everything about my health , she also promised me to teach me further.  But all teachers were not like her. One side my poor performance another side my bad health. Every day I woke up at morning 6.30-45 & I went to my bad 8- 9…so i didn’t get time for self study. But I always astonished one thing I didn’t know who always switch off my alarm, as to wake up early I set my alarm timing to 4 o’clock AM . Even if I also told my roommate if anyone listen my alarm bell please wake me, as I had to read. But everyday same condition. My condition was totally terrible 2-3 months left for my final board exam & I didn’t touch most of the chapters of many subjects . My condition became so poor; finally I decided not to take medicine. As for that I sleep a lot. But one day one case further broke my heart. It was nearly 4 o’clock, I wake up. but I didn’t want to read as I felt sleepy & my eyes were closed , suddenly I felly someone stood besides my bad , when I opened my eyes, I couldn’t believe – my roommate whom I helped a lot , she changed my alarm timing & made it 6o’clock then switch off it. No words came from my mouth, I was totally aback. Tear fall from my eyes, as  I always felt I always switch off my alarm in sleepy condition. Even if I also asked my roommates about this matter they also told me you might have done this. As you are always in sleeping mood. So I ways in this illustration that I switch off my alarm everyday. But I was wrong. In that night I cried a lot. As I couldn’t tolerate cheating, this may be the first case of my life. I woke up early nearly 6 o’clock. It was new to my roommates, who switch off the alarm she told me in a sweet tone “how could you woke up so early, OH MY SLEEPING BEAUTY” . She told me in Avery sweet voice, I couldn’t believe how she talk with me in a very sweet voice& how can she do like this with me. At first I fear to ask her, as I don’t wanna lose my friendship. But I had to, as it was cheating, I can tolerate everything but NO CHEATING. So when I asked her- she simply refused me. She told me I became mad, even she told the same thing to my other roommate & others also. It hurt me a lot, first of all she did the mistakes & telling before everyone- I became mad. To save herself, she blamed me. I couldn’t bear this. So from day I decided to live alone, so I cover my bad with a screen so that she couldn’t see me even if disturb me, as she was very cleaver she talked with me in study time, when I slept she started her reading. I did this for many reasons-

1) She couldn’t disturb me in study hour

2) She couldn’t switch off my alarm.

As I can’t change the room even if every time I couldn’t quarrel for one matter, so I decided it’s the best me to avoid the all problems. But it hurt her a lot. She requests me many times, but once I cheated from someone I could n’t do the same mistake again. After one month I went my home for study proposes then BOTH HOMEOPATHIC &   AYURVEDA   CURED MY DISEASE. Seriously telling which allopathic could n’t solve that homeopathic & ayurvedic could solve. From that day I believe a lot in homeopathic, I choose these two rather than allopathic medicine …my one year completed, I hardly read 1-2 month for my final board exam. It was my first terrific situation, as I lose my health at that time. But thanks God, after that day I never fall ill like that. Yeah, sometimes I fall in fever, it’s normal. At least now my health condition is better than my previous life….I left my college with many beautiful & worst memories. But I had many beautiful memories – I had a best friend & I had a sweet roommate whom I really love so much. Yeah, competition was there, but she was good. At least she did n’t harm me, she also loved me a lot, we both spend most of the time. I could n’t forget her words &  the way she talk . Many good friends also there… many funny memories also there like one memory I wanna share here – during my first year – I participated in comedy & Science exhibition. but unfortunately  which chemical was required for my science exhibition that was very costly , very poison & no one wanna to give me even if my partner also afraid , so she refused me to participate , but I was very suborn , I told her by hook or crook I’ll do this. So, I do it alone. I was very tensed. As at that time everyone started for work for their exhibition but I was in tensed how can I do this alone, even if that was so costly? Finally I requested my chemistry lab sir to help me. He helped me also– at that time one girl was also there whose condition was also like me, means her partner refused her to participate but she wanted to participate. I felt god helped me, so we both stated work, no doubt it was too last – still we felt enjoy. Within one night we arranged everything & next morning I had to perform in the stage & science exhibition. No doubt I participated but when actually people came to see my exhibition I was on the stage. It was a funny experience . As most of my friends prayed god , when I was on the stage to perform my comedy, as they fear if I would started crying there <in fun, actually I usually cry in a small matter. if anyone will laughed at me , I’ll stop there>… but my performance was quite good, those people who thought I couldn’t speak , I speak in front of them. It was a good experience.

2009 – 2010

MY MEDICAL PREPARATION TIME PIC

This period is quit tough period for me as I can’t get medical in first chance, I have secured 5000 rank in MEDICAL & 12,000 engineering in OJEE. So I decided to join in general education like +3 taking ZOOLOGY HONORS , I took coaching + continuing my college , I can’t give much time for my college studies , 1^st year entrance exam time I got good rank near about 2000 but still it’s not enough as for getting medical you need rank within 300 , due to reservation system (ST +SC+OBC+HC) even I don’t wanna be dentist, I have two options either medical or zoology honors I never think about engineering , seriously telling that’s why I didn’t have any idea about future related to my career, so I faced lots of problem at first in engineering. But it’s my bad psychology that I don’t like general education, so I tried for next time. but can’t get good marks in my college performance , I joined +3 but it just for name , truth is I never show my interest there . 2^nd time when I gave medical I got good rank even i had a chance to read DENTAL (but now dentists have no much demand like previous , COMPUTER OR BIO-TECH ENGINEER AR BETTER AT LEAST YOU HAVE HUGE RESEARCH FACILITIES EVEN BETTER SALARY ) so i didn't join, even got chance to read private medical like HI-TECH , even call latter also came in my home but I was not interested in join private college as its cost is very high near about 20 lakh whole 5 years ,even no guaranty whether I could be a good doctor or not but can join in dental as many of my friends also joined there but I don’t wanna be dentist , I know it’s importance but I wanna do something which will help me in future broad way , so for my future I gave me dental line too , now also I have my all rank card , I can show u too . but another side I got good rank in engineering , I got these marks based on Physics & chemistry , I got 5300 rank , actually I sit in math exam but couldn’t solve as I fear if I’ll get rank in engineering then my papa will send me engineering college which I didn’t want even I was fully confident that I’ll get medical , even for the first time I did cheating in medical entrance exam means I asked my bench partner ,which was my greatest mistake, I ADMIT IT, I told all answer what I solved but what she told all were wrong . But I wanna get medical by hook or by crook so I choose this line without thinking any 2^nd thought. But this is the most stupid mistake I did ever in my life; believe a stranger in entrance exam. My negative marking ruin my life, I got 1000 volt shock at that time when I saw that. So from that day I never believe anyone in exam time even I never ask any single question even in monthly test too. True, even you can ask any of my friends. I tell but I never ask. even I got good rank in OUAT ,I can be veterinary doctor but not my choice , but some choices I missed by chance like I got BIO TECH & BIO MEDICAL IN VIT & SRM but can’t go as I waited for my OJEE medical , I hope that at least I can get last rank. Alas couldn’t. But Bio technology was not my papa’s choice actually some of our relatives advice him not to join in these branches as there is no scope in India. Even we have no broad idea about engineering as I am eldest one but my papa has knowledge in computer & IT sector.  

So when I got result I already ruined my 2 years +3 career even can’t achieve well so I was not in the state to take any decision so my papa took my whole decisions even I have faith on him. He also forced me to join private medical but I didn’t want because I didn’t know about my future in that field & huge money , if I’ll invest all money what my little brother will read . even I have no interest in +3 at that time as I was fed off BIOLOGY CAREER , so I told my papa to take right decision for me as I couldn’t unable to take any decision at that time, at that particular moment actually but in my core I actually love biology I felt it after joining engineering . So I joined in engineering after 2 years, my toughest time ever. But I papa want I should join as I have got good college IIIT as it has name in ALL INDIA BASIS – (1^ST IIT THEN NIT THEN IIIT )

I never told my engineering friends about +3 matter as I did n’t want my friends will laugh at me even that was a simple private college in ROURKELA having no name , so I hide it among all . I HAVE MY CERTIFICATE ALSO – CONTINUING CERTIFICATE TOO.

THESE ARE NOT LIE , ALL ARE FACT EVEN I HAVE ALL RANK CARDS WITH ME TILL NOW TOO EXCEPT SOME , WHICH I THROW .YOU CAN ASK ANYONE ALSO , BY THE WAY MY CERTIFICATE IS MY BETS PROOF 

. 

2010 - 2014

1ST YEAR ENGINEERING PIC 

THEN MY ENGINEERING CAREER

sometimes I feel my life is full of struggling  , where I lost my precious time to fulfill my dream , I lost my smile with in that, I forget that in this world  happy & enjoy like two words  exist.   but alas , I can’t get…sometimes I ask my God , why he has given me such kind of life where every time I face problems & tolerate pain… I always get one answer; it will make you a person you always wish for… BTW I WANNA GIVE A BIG THANKS TO MY LORD FOR GIVING EVERYTHING WHAT I WANTED… MAY BE INDIRECTLY BUT HE HAD GIVEN ME…

I entered in to engineering career with no hope, no doubt I entered as I got a chance to read in government college & that also a good college but I had no interest <frankly speaking > but it doesn’t mean my parents forced me to come here, it was my decision to come here. My situation & my heart said to take this painful decision & give up medical for forever. no doubt I gave up, but every time I felt I missed something in my life, that’s my inner pleasure / peace what ever you can say . I wanna smile form my heart. As I was tired, I couldn’t cry more. I wanna be happy & wanna live a life as I wish. sometimes I control my emotions & tell myself now I have one way that’s my present, I can’t go to my past & can’t repaired my future further. that’s why I have to concentrate, but I had another problem I didn’t like my branch <at first> , as I didn’t have any 

2014

After my semester complete I came my home but that was my last month in Rourkela as our family left Rourkela permanently and came bhadrak due to my papa’s transfer even our real home is in BALASORE even we plan to live in Bhubaneswar (planning), my parents told me to go Hyderabad for GATE coaching in ACE OR Delhi for MADEEASY but after my 4 years of torture, now I fear the hostel life that’s why I effused and told him I’ll go for e-gate coaching for GATE in Gate forum , but at first they were not happy with my decision but I actually in terrible state in that time , now also I fear the hostel life , don’t know why ? that’s why I took coaching from e-gate coaching from gate forum even brought books from Made easy , I was confident that I can do better as in my engineering time without any coaching and hard labor I performed well even secured good mark also . But unfortunately this time I am unable to secure the good mark in gate, now I am in terrible situation. Onside job an otherwise my dream. Don’t know what gonna be my future but I enjoy a lot this year. 

2014 was a memorable year for me as in 1 year i celebrated many festivals + family party for the 1st time , after 7 years of life as i left my home & stayed hostel after class 10th . No any family celebration after 2005-6 onwards as i couldn't come home except important holidays even in small holiday gaps i prefer to stay in hostel & read as i hate LONG JOURNEY  & NO WASTEAGE OF TIME that's why 2014 was memorable period for me –

(1st) CELEBRATE HOLI WID MY FRNDS

(2nd) COMPLETED ENGINEERING

(3rd) CELEBRATE MY PARENTS 25TH MARRIAGE CEREMONY

(4th) MY COUSIN BROTHER'S THREAD CEREMONY

(5th) CELEBRATE DIWALI WITH MY FAMILY WITH FOOD VISIT DIFF. PLACES

(6th) FINAL - MY GRANDMOTHER'S DEATH CEREMONY

(YEAR BEGIN WITH SMILE BUT END WITH TEAR) ,

HOLI PICS

LAST MEMORY

PARENTS 25^TH MERRIAGE CEREMONY

DIWALI PICS

FUN WITH MY BROTHER & COUSINS

THREAD CEREMONY

So here I have written everything about me. So hope you all get the root of rumors, hope you all believe me. Even if I had not any love issue from my childhood days, yeah, I need people to help me. Even if I love to make friendship with everyone. But when I seriously fall in love I’ll surely tell before the world. I promise. Because when I’ll tell at that time I have proof also. Because I can’t believe anyone & their words blindly. I believe everything when there is any proof. So if you have any doubt, you can ask any of my 12^th class college friends about my 12^th class college life, hope you all can truth from them. Even if, if u ask my engineering friends hope you can get some information. But I don’t think you can get all information. As all are like my enemy & no one is my good friend here. No one can tolerate me. I am not a brilliant student but I am not so poor also. I can do well if I can get better environment for read or if I can get peace. My friends have problem is that they want if I am writing I should n’t concentrate on study. They could n’t tolerate this. This is the bitter truth, that’s the reason they always depress my mind before exam. If I get bad marks they laugh at me. But they don’t know they are the main reason behind my failure. I have aloe seen many of my friends whom I take as my good friends how they behave me, no one is perfect in friendship here. Everyone is busy to down you, everyone is busy to spoil your name & character. How can you believe anyone here. Sorry, now it’s a very difficult task to believe anyone blindly. Seriously telling. As I suffered a lot & cheated a lot.

BUT I WONDER IT'S OK , IF MY FRIENDS FEEL JEALOUS WHAT'S THE REASON WHY MY JUNIORS FEEL JEALOUS ???

IT'S ALWAYS QUESTION MARK IN MY LIFE ? WHY WITH ME ? AM I UNIQUE ? 

I WANNA SHOW MY GRATITUDE TOWARDS MY COLLEGE & MY ALL TEACHERS FOR THEIR SUPPORT , MY COLLEGE IS NOT INCLUDE FOR MY PAINFUL & FAILURE LIFE. SO PLEASE DON'T BLAME MY COLLEGE . I LOVE MY COLLEGE BUT NOT MY FRIENDS WHO ARE THE SPOILER OF MY LIFE . 

HOPE U ALL UNDERSTAND ME & THE REASON BEHIND MY CHANGE.

HOPE U ALL HAVE PATIENCE TO READ SUCH A LONG STORY...THANKS A LOT FOR READING THIS...IF YOU WANNA KNOW ABOUT ME THEN READ IT COMPLETELY ...AS MAJOR PART OF MY LIFE SPEND HERE - 7 YEARS HOSTEL LIFE ... SO HOPE U ALL UNDERSTAND ME & MY PERSONALITY . 

I HAVE WRITTEN THIS AS MANY PEOPLE TAKE ME IN A WRONG WAY DUE TO MANY RUMORS IN MY NAME , SO I FORCED TO WRITE THIS . I WANT PEOPLE SHOULD HATE AFTER KNOWING THE ACTUAL TRUTH NOT BUT FALSE ... I CAN'T TOLERATE THE FALSE RUMORS ABOUT ME . HATE ME AFTER KNOWING MY TRUTH , I CAN TOLERATE THAT ! 

MY LIFE IS LIKE AN OPEN DIARY- READ THIS FIRST STILL IF YOU HAVE ANY DOUBT EVEN  INVESTIGATE ON THIS I HAVE NO PROBLEM. AS  TRUTH IS TRUTH , NO ONE CAN MODIFY IT EVEN CAN CHANGE IT ...

   

GO & ASK MY TEACHERS , SWEEPERS , 

WATCHMAN & WORKERS (COLLEGE)  & 

FAMILY MEMBERS & MY SURROUNDINGS 

EXCEPT FRIENDS AS I KNOW I HAVE MANY 

HATERS  EXCEPT SOME !  

‪I DON‬'T CARE 

PLZ READ THIS , IF YOU WANNA KNOW ME . AS MY ACTUAL LIFE STARTED WHEN I LEFT MY HOME .