MY HOSTEL LIFE-PERSONAL LIFE STORY (PART 4)

Hello friends,

Now I gonna share my whole hostel career, what are my mistakes & how I faced problems in my life, everything I have written here. How I turn into matured girl form a fool & stupid girl. I feel I have learnt many things from my life <Frankly speaking >. The 5years is sufficient to learn what I could n’t learn from my childhood days. But before blaming others I gonna tell what are my faults. Because no one is perfect even if I also. So now I gonna tell my faults then I’ll tell about others & I have marked people love to connect my name with everyone & blame me without any reason. But sorry till now I have no boy friend or any love issue. if you wanna know then read the whole article , hope u all understand me…neither in my school life nor in my present life but I always fall in the controversy , I don’t know why ? Why people love to spread rumors about my name.? yeah, I am over serious about my career & dream as I know very well in this world, if you have no good name or no name in society then nobody will come to help you even if nobody understand you what you want & what you can do. I don’t need anyone to make me famous, I need little support , I have power to do everything by own but I need mental support . A little support does n’t mean I use them for my self-propose. So how can you take my every case in negative sense? I wanna get success but it does n’t mean I LOVE TO USE OTHERS OR I WANNA SHOW MY FAKE EMOTIONS LIKE LOVE…sorry, I am not that kind of girl. yeah, I love to make friendship even if I love to know about everyone but it doesn’t mean I can love everyone…I AM VERY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS LOVE ISSUE & I CAN’T FALL IN LOVE SO EASILY. YEAH, SOMETIMES I TAKE IT AS FUN PROPOSES BUT I DON’T TAKE IT GRANTED EVERY TIME LOVE IS A GREAT MEAN TO ME & I RESPECT IT & BELIEVE IT SO MUCH…

MY FAULTS

1) I talk very less

2) Most of the time I live alone

3) I give more importance to my dream & career then any relation like friendship

4) Something which always hurts me like my childhood dream to become a doctor. It make me mentally weak. I can’t forget my failure & anything which hurt me a lot easily .

5) I always silent whatever the situation comes that’s the reason nobody can feel what’s going inside me, I never clarify anything.

6) Little bit jealous about my career.

So these are my faults …. But I wanna rectify some of my nature, as these things act as a hill in front of my success. I have no problems with my family or with any of my family members , I love to stay united & Big family , but I have problems with my friends, but why ? Sometimes I ask this question to me , what’s wrong with me, why my relationship with my friends is not perfect. Yeah, it’s true in today’s’ world if you will be complicated & double face then you will surely win this life race. Which I can’t do, neither I can be complicated nor double faced. Because I have seen the people who are double face they have many friends with very good relations. It astonished me, as I always make friendship truly, but I always fail to keep. What comes in my heart I always tell, yeah, sometimes it also rough type but I never like to tell lie or act as their well wiser. I don’t like show up. But for this I always lose my friends. Sometimes I wanna change my nature & to follow that worst path to get friends. But my heart says, it’s better to live with your principle, if someone truly know you then they will stay with you.

NOW I GONNA START MY LIFE STORY FROM THE BEGINNING

when I was at school time at that time I was staying in my home so no problem , but my problems arose when I came into hostel life, even if at the beginning no problem was there… but I always cut my leg in my own hand…But how ? Read the full article , hope you can get your all answers .

MY 12^th COLLEGE LIFE:-

I was so much excited to stay in hostel, as I felt boring in my home. Actually in my home & even if in our colony no one was in my age, so most of time I felt boring. When I heard I am going to hostel I planned many thing how I’ll spend my hostel life, as there will be no parents who will judge your works , so you can do anything. No one will be there to scold you or beat you. I was so happy. After reaching at hostel I made friendship with everyone, no doubt I was little bit shy nature but I too love to make friendship & talk with everyone. No doubt I choose one single room for myself, as from the beginning I can’t read in the crowd or where many people are reading, so I choose a single room for study propose. every parents came & they become astonished , how I chose to stay in a single room , they also asked me many questions about this single room means - why choose to stay here , you don’t fear to stay alone ??? But I found one uncle was there who became so happy after looking at me, he told me “what you will do at night if you will fear or any ghost will come <IN JOCK>, I think you are a brave girl. it’s good u choose a single room , even if I also love to read in a single room , so in my PG TIME I CHOSE TO STAY IN A SINGLE ROOM & AFTER THAT I GOT IAS… so try your best to fulfill your dream. My blessing is with you. ” his kind words brought tear in my eyes, as I also came there with lots of hope & dream. I thanked him. Then my time passed away, but I was very close with my side room, they were like my roommate. most of the time I spend there , that’s why many times our lady attendance scold me a lot as during study time I disturb my friends. At that time I was so curious to make friendship & to know everything about them. Even if my friends are also very co-operative. they also helped me a lot.nearly one yaer passed . First year final exam time – there was a girl in my section ,who was my bench mate , we always sit together, one day she told me “I couldn’t stay with my roommates . She is disturbing me, can I stay with you at least in exam time”. Then I allowed her, as exam time is very vital & how much I give importance to my exam that much importance I give to others also. I believe her blindly & I allowed to stay with me till exam end. She was a good student but poor in mathematics & chemistry. My Prime work was to teach her math & chemistry everyday. At least I gave my 3- 4 hours to teach her & I also too love to teach others. In home also I teach my brother & my younger brothers & sisters. I too love to teach others. Days passed & at last my one year completed, after coming from vacation we came to know that we have to change our hostel. Actually at first we were staying outside hostel, after one year in our campus our hostel work completed, our superintendent told us to choose your room mate. at that time my bench mate told me , she wanna stay with me, as we are from one section even if I was studious & she also , so she also need a girl like me & her roommate also tortured her a lot. So I allow her & another girl was there whom I loved so much, as she was very innocent. I love to talk with her, so I chose her as my room mate. We were so happy in our new hostel. According to their demand I gave that bed to stay, as I know we have to stay one year together, so I was trying to manage my room in a good way. My room was odd type, means sunlight was not passing properly & I can’t stay a room without sun light. Seriously telling, as I was like a patient at that time. After coming hostel means “KIIT” I could n’t care my health , as it was my first hostel life & I didn’t know how to do my own work also, so I fall ill most of the time & I was my own doctor. My papa had given me some medicine to take when necessary, but I took as I want. So my condition was very bad & second- light was not passing properly, my bad luck. Alas, at least we have to spend one year there, so we try to manage. My condition was totally worst; in day time also we have to switch on the light because of me as no light was coming to my bad. Still I managed. We were happy, but one day one case brook my heart. one night one of my roommate whom I love so much , her condition became so bad , she was vomiting so much & high fever , but when I begged help to my other roommate she told me please don’t call me otherwise I’ll vomited , so I clean the whole surface . no doubt it was a painful experience because I also can’t bear any kind of bad smell , but I had to as her condition was very bad & she was not in the position to talk . so my whole night became sleepless , but in the next morning when I was in bathroom she told my ill roommate that I didn’t call her, if I called her , then she could help her .”so sorry for that , I couldn’t help you yesterday night even if I didn’t know”. But my other roommate knew me very well as she was staying in my block & I also loved her so much. So she didn’t belive her words at first. No doubt I didn’t know about this matter, but one day I came to know about all these cases. Days also passed, my condition became worst day by day, finally I felt if I’ll not tell my parents about my condition then I’ll die. As I was took medicine whenever I felt like fever & one time came no medicine worked properly , at that time my condition was really very worst I could n’t sit properly & every time I was sleeping. No doubt outside I was looking like healthy but inside i was dying. My exam was also over my head, after coming to new hostel my health became very worst, I couldn’t concentrate on my study. Because most of the time I was in sleeping condition. I usually sleep 6 hours but at that time I nearly slept 10-11 hours. It really hurt me a lot, one side my final BOARD EXAM & another side my MEDICAL ENTRANCE preparation. I was trying to read but my condition was very bad , at first I could n’t understand what is going – but after two month I felt , I am sleeping due to my disease, which I didn’t know. So I informed about this to my parents, after coming from medical I was severely scolded by my papa, as my condition was so bad & I didn’t inform him. MY BLOOD-PRESSURE WAS LOW & IT WAS THE PRELIMINARY STAGE OF ASTHMA & JUNDISH, AT A TIME BOTH. so my parents & my uncle didn’t allow me to go hostel, there for I stayed at my uncle’s home for 7 days but I had to go hostel because of my monthly test & attendance . My main problem was if I’ll not attend the class then how I can understand those. one side high power medicine & another side busy routine ( 7 AM – 5 PM ) But I had no problem , I also slept in my class room, no doubt I always sit in the first bench but when I felt sleepy I went to the last branch & slept there. It was not my mistake, my high power medicine side effect. One monthly test finish but I secured very poor mark in every subject, especially math, where I never secured less than “25” out of “30”. in that monthly test I secured only “8” , I remembered , how my mam scold me , even if she told me to leave the class for this kind of number. as 1-2 times I had got the highest mark in my class , mam though I am not reading properly , that’s why I got this kind of result , she also loved me lot. but it hurt me a lot so I told her everything about my health , she also promised me to teach me further. But all teachers were not like her. One side my poor performance another side my bad health. Every day I woke up at morning 6.30-45 & I went to my bad 8- 9…so i didn’t get time for self study. But I always astonished one thing I didn’t know who always switch off my alarm, as to wake up early I set my alarm timing to 4 o’clock AM . Even if I also told my roommate if anyone listen my alarm bell please wake me, as I had to read. But everyday same condition. My condition was totally terrible 2-3 months left for my final board exam & I didn’t touch most of the chapters of many subjects . My condition became so poor; finally I decided not to take medicine. As for that I sleep a lot. But one day one case further broke my heart. It was nearly 4 o’clock, I wake up. but I didn’t want to read as I felt sleepy & my eyes were closed , suddenly I felly someone stood besides my bad , when I opened my eyes, I couldn’t belive – my roommate whom I helped a lot , she changed my alarm timing & made it 6o’clock then switch off it. No words came from my mouth, I was totally aback. Tear fall from my eyes, as I always felt I always switch off my alarm in sleepy condition. Even if I also asked my roommates about this matter they also told me you might have done this. As you are always in sleeping mood. So I ways in this illustration that I switch off my alarm everyday. But I was wrong. In that night I cried a lot. As I couldn’t tolerate cheating, this may be the first case of my life. I woke up early nearly 6 o’clock. It was new to my roommates, who switch off the alarm she told me in a sweet tone “how could you woke up so early, OH MY SLEEPING BEAUTY” . She told me in Avery sweet voice, I couldn’t believe how she talk with me in a very sweet voice& how can she do like this with me. At first I fear to ask her, as I don’t wanna lose my friendship. But I had to, as it was cheating, I can tolerate everything but NO CHEATING. So when I asked her- she simply refused me. She told me I became mad, even she told the same thing to my other roommate & others also. It hurt me a lot, first of all she did the mistakes & telling before everyone- I became mad. To save herself, she blamed me. I couldn’t bear this. So from day I decided to live alone, so I cover my bad with a screen so that she couldn’t see me even if disturb me, as she was very cleaver she talked with me in study time, when I slept she started her reading. I did this for many reasons-

1) She couldn’t disturb me in study hour

2) She couldn’t switch off my alarm.

As I can’t change the room even if every time I couldn’t quarrel for one matter, so I decided it’s the best me to avoid the all problems. But it hurt her a lot. She requests me many times, but once I cheated from someone I could n’t do the same mistake again. After one month I went my home for study proposes then BOTH HOMEOPATIC & AYURVEDIC CURED MY DISEASE. Seriously telling which allopathic couldn’t solve that homeopathic & ayurvedic could solve. From that day I believe a lot in homeopathic, I choose these two rather than allopathic medicine …my one year completed, I hardly read 1-2 month for my final board exam. It was my first terrific situation, as I lose my health at that time. But thanks God, after that day I never fall ill like that. Yeah, sometimes I fall in fever, it’s normal. At least now my health condition is better than my previous life….I left my college with many beautiful & worst memories. But I had many beautiful memories – I had a best friend & I had a sweet roommate whom I really love so much. Yeah, competition was there, but she was good. At least she did n’t harm me, she also loved me a lot, we both spend most of the time. I could n’t forget her words & the way she talk . Many good friends also there… many funny memories also there like one memory I wanna share here – during my first year – I participated in comedy & Science exhibition. but unfortunately which chemical was required for my science exhibition that was very costly , very poison & no one wanna to give me even if my partner also afraid , so she refused me to participate , but I was very suborn , I told her by hook or crook I’ll do this. So, I do it alone. I was very tensed. As at that time everyone started for work for their exhibition but I was in tensed how can I do this alone, even if that was so costly? Finally I requested my chemistry lab sir to help me. He helped me also– at that time one girl was also there whose condition was also like me, means her partner refused her to participate but she wanted to participate. I felt god helped me, so we both stated work, no doubt it was too last – still we felt enjoy. Within one night we arranged everything & next morning I had to perform in the stage & science exhibition. No doubt I participate but when actually people came to see my exhibition I was on the stage. It was a funny experience also. As most of my friends prayed god when I went to stage to perform, as they fear if I world started crying there <in fun, actually I usually cry in a small matter. if anyone will laughed at me , I’ll stop there>… but my performance was quite good, those people who thought I couldn’t speak , I speak in front of them. It was a good experience.

THEN MY ENGINEERING CAREER

sometimes I feel my life is like a struggling path where I lost my precious time to fulfill my dream , I lost my smile with in that, I forget that in this world happy & enjoy like two words exist. but alas , I can’t get…sometimes I ask my God , why he has given me such kind of life where every time I face problems & tolerate pain… I always get one answer; it will make you a person you always wish for… BTW I WANNA GIVE A BIG THANKS TO MY LORD FOR GIVING EVERYTHING WHAT I WANTED… MAY BE INDIRECTLY BUT HE HAD GIVEN ME…

I entered in to engineering career with no hope, no doubt I entered as I got a chance to read in government college & that also a good college but I had no interest <frankly speaking > but it doesn’t mean my parents forced me to come here, it was my decision to come here. My situation & my heart said to take this painful decision & give up medical for forever. no doubt I gave up, but every time I felt I missed something in my life, that’s my inner pleasure / peace what ever you can say . I wanna smile form my heart. As I was tired, I couldn’t cry more. I wanna be happy & wanna live a life as I wish. sometimes I control my emotions & tell myself now I have one way that’s my present, I can’t go to my past & can’t repaired my future further. that’s why I have to concentrate, but I had another problem I didn’t like my branch <at first> , as I didn’t have any knowledge in computer . Yeah, I only knew how to play game except this I didn’t knew anything. I was purely a medical oriented student. But unfortunately I didn’t get.

1^ST SEM

It was a new place , new hostel & new friends. I came late to my hostel; it was nearly 5-6 o’clock. I remembered, when I entered my two roomies already came & they already finished their all work, thanks god my aunt was there with me, she helped me to keep my important assets in the right place. Night came I was so excited to make friends as I was absent in the interaction time & I came late also, after talking with my two roommate, I became so happy & then I came to know that one of my roommate is from our area, means not exact same place but it will take 2-3 hours in train. So We planned to go home together, as I very much afraid to go home alone. So I got a partner. Then we promised we will live together & never quarrel, if there would be any confusion then tell directly, don’t hide anything, be open. We always try to manage everything. But I was little close to one of my roommate who was from our locality, as she also from Computer science branch, so I thought she can help me in study. our days passed away , at that time I love to make friendship with everyone & even if I also talked with everyone in a very nice way, but sometimes I also offended by my friends due to this medical reason. Some of my friends also criticize me in a diff. way, as I didn’t get medical. I have also tolerated many mocking kind of words, still I was silent & I had friendship with everyone. Even if most of the night our branch mates gather one of my friends’ room that was our meeting place. where we share our crazy memories , most of the time I share my ideas about biology, no doubt I didn’t get but I too love ZOOLOGY & EVEN IF I GOT HIGHEST MARK IN THAT CHEPTER.. So I share my ideas that were a very fun time. Seriously telling, I can’t forget. Sometimes I wanna go back & repair my mistakes but the bitter truth is no one can go back & it’s very difficult to forget everything what was happened with me. I wanna to start my friendship again but my heart says no!!!. I can’t tolerate more, I can’t tolerate fake friendship. My heart always cries but it doesn’t sound.

Now I gonna start further where I ended, I was so happy at that time. No doubt my career tension was always there, which hurt me every time but it was manageable & another side slowly slowly my friendship became deeper with my one roommate who was from my area, even if I always took her as a sister, I also loved her so negmuch & I helped her a lot, but at that time my two roomies always quarrel. They quarreled for stupid reasons. Actually one of my roommates was not adjective & compromising nature, as it was her first hostel life. I understand her, so they always quarrel in a small matter & I became the mediator at that time. Whenever they started quarrel I scold any one of them. My motto was maintaining peace in my room & even if I want we should live like as we lived at the first. I also tried my best, but my only fault was I neglect one of my roommate, that was my biggest fault, as I was so close with one of my roommate & forget about her, but I never hurt her knowingly or unknowingly , even if her words were so rough , so I didn’t like to talk with her at first. My friendship was good with my roommates, even if they <My two roommates> didn’t talk with each other at that time. I didn’t know what’s the problems arise / happened? Whole scenario changed. Days passed, slowly we make a gang, all are CSE & I WAS ONLY “IT” and I love my gang. It was small Gang consists of “7” members including me at that time. We share everything with each other. but one day there was disturbance create between me & one of my friend <in that gang , with whom my roommate was very close> , our friendship had no problem, it was diff. problem which I too hate , she told me to do that. It was the starting phase of missundersnding between me & my friends, but I had no mistakes. I refused her as I didn’t want to spoil my life; I know what’s good & bad. They might be take it easy but how can I take that, while that thing related to my life. How can I take any decision blindly? That’s why my roommate also little bit angry upon me. But It’s TRUE in my life I give so much importance to friendship but it doesn’t mean I agree with their words or listen their all words. From the beginning I can’t belive anyone blindly except my parents. That was the starting problem with my roommate & one of my friends who was close to my roommate & was her bench mate. Then time passed, still I tried to keep my friendship & wanna try to solve one problem. But it’s my general problem, while solving one problem I always create another problem. I did the mistakes, for which now also I am suffering. To keep my friendship I made a plan how to overcome the problem, I told lie before everyone that I love someone & made a different story before that, so that they will not convince me about any boy matter. As I too hate any love story at that time. But I didn’t know my one lie can created so many problems. I took one of my friend names, I knew he was very good, so I told his name before everyone & I was sure that he has a girl friend. So at first to show my friends I keep my friendship with him through social media like FACEBOOK, but I didn’t know he had no girl friend, actually he told me lie at that time, but after few days I came to know the whole story. So I stop my whole drama there, even if I was very offended at that time. Which I can’t forget.

2^nd SEM

Then my life passed. I love one of my roommate ,so I couldn’t see if anyone insult her & I couldn’t keep anything inside me , so one day I asked one of my friends , why she insult my roommate which hurt me a lot, that’s why I stop talking with her. I told her not to behave like rudely. She told this thing to my roommate, but I didn’t know what she listen or what she thought but after listening this from her she stared scolding me without any reason. Actually I also couldn’t understand why she was scolding me; I was also upset at that day as my math performance was poor & my teacher also scold me for that. I also didn’t control my anger I also scold her, as she was scolding me unnecessarily. I requested my friend not to behave with her rudely, what’s wrong I had done. I don’t think so, I had done anything wrong. What I think right, I did that. That day her words, touched my heart, as for her I had tolerate a lot, even if I neglect one of my roommate. As she felt alone, I gave me company. Finally she scold me without any reason. That was the staring breaking point of our friendship. This is true that she is more jealous. It’s the true, I had marked. one case hurt me a lot in my first semester exam time I couldn’t understand a small chapter of a subject & I requested her to clarify my small doubts. She knew but she refused me, which hurt me a lot. I felt whom I helped & why. She was so ----- , I had no words when she refuses me & that also before that exam day. That day, I could realize my biggest mistake why I gave her much importance in my life. Why I helped her & loved her as sister. I could realize my all mistakes. But after that also we keep our friendship, it was not like before. As she already got a friend from her branch, she was in our block & our gang. She also from her area & she also very helping nature girl. I really love her as I knew she really know how to maintain the friendship, no doubt my friendship broke because of some misunderstanding & that also for a stupid reason . She knew me very well. I love her , but alas our friendship broke, For which I wanna slap on my face now , because problem was created by me ,as I always love to make fun & I didn’t take anything serious at that time. But my roommate is not that much trusted worthy. How much I know, no doubt she talk very nicely & even if she always want everyone should love her & she maintain a very good image before everyone. But she is totally complicated because now my condition is because for her . How can I forget my all memories? I don’t wanna remember that once again. No doubt it was my roommate case, still it manageable but my real my problematic life started from second semester, actually it also due to my stupidity & my own fault.

My great fault was I made friendship with and a guy who really don’t deserve, who spoiled my half career. It was not a love issue, he was my friend. Making friendship with him was my great mistake, for which now also I am suffering. No doubt at first I REALLY TOO HATE HIM. Whenever I online in Face book, he always send “HI” message, so every time I offline him. One day I became so angry & told my roommate that “he is from your branch, right??? Then talk with him. Every time he is ending “HI”, but I can’t replay him. Seriously telling, I too hate such kind of guy, WHO LOVE TO SHOW UP.” AS HE WAS VERY FAMOUS IN OUR COLLEGE FOR HIS BRAND SHOW UP, HE SHOW UP THAT HE WAS FROM A VERY RICH FAMILY. HA! I really too hate such kind of guys, then my roommate laughed & told don’t worry, talk with him, he is not a bad guy, yaar. He love to show up & little bit proudly but he is good & helping nature. He is not a bad guy, you can talk. Then I send him “HELLO”. Then we started our talking, but after talking with him. I felt he is good, he was very funny. Then whenever I came face book we chart, it was just general. What u ate in canteen, how much??? He also elaborate how much he had eaten, it was just like a friendship. Then one day he told me you know boys are laughing at you & called you crazy, he told me the reason & told me to rectify that nature. I also keep his words & tried to rectify. He was very open & good. So I never felt anything wrong, he always told me my all bad nature, whenever he heard anything wrong about me in hostel. He told me first & always suggested me to rectify, he was just like my guide. No doubt he may bad for others but he was very good for me as he always tried to rectify my nature. but some of my gang mates told me not to make deep friendship with him , but I didn’t know why , I also asked them but they told me whatever they are telling , that’s good for me. They don’t want to see me in problem & sad, that’s why they are telling. But I couldn’t understand. I didn’t listen & ignore their words, I told them we are just friends in social media, so don’t worry. No bout we were staying in one campus but we never talked with each other front to front, our conversation was through social media. It’s funny but true. I LIKE HIS ONE QUALITY MOST- he was a very good writer, he had a blog where he had described the beauty of his lover, whom he loved so much, she was from our college. How he met & everything. When I read, I became speechless; he was a very good writer. I also comment there to write more & our next IIIT - chetan bhagat . HIS BLOG NAME WAS “MY LIFE MY WAY” where he had written all things about his love life whom he loved so much, she was from our college & his branch. It also inspired me to write in blog, no doubt I also wrote & I too love to write also, but I wrote in my diary, I didn’t know about blog & website. But from him I came to know how to write in blog, it also inspired me. He become my inspiration not my competitor, I only follow him, but my motto was not to do any kind of competition with him. Seriously telling. He was my friend, not a competitor. But I didn’t know this friendship will take my friends & career. I just make simple friendship, how a girl make friendship with a boy but it became a big issue in my case. I didn’t know what’s wrong with me, why my friends behave so rudely…my actual problematic life started here.

His lover & her girlfriend gang is the main culprit. Actually they spoiled my name, I just made a friendship with him but they spread like I am his girl friend. Even if they behave so rudely with me, I lost my maximum friends even if my character, but it astonished me – WHOM HE PROPOSED & FOR WHOM MY FRIEND WAS CRAZY THAT GIRL HAD A BOY FRIEND THAT’S THE REASON SHE REFUSED HIM. BUT WHEN I MAKE FRIENDSHIP, SHE BECAME SO JEALOUS. I really couldn’t understand the chemistry. What’s going here? I lost many of my friends for that guy, but we have no deep friendship in real life ! We had friendship in social media. But we never ever talked with each other in real life. But it made me angry when they spoiled my character; they spread many kinds of rumors about me. At that time I realize why my friends were telling me to break friendship with him. One time came when I had no friends, as they had a large gang & before them I am nothing. So everyone behave me as I am a prisoner. I had done a crime. But what was my fault. It made me cry, without any fault I suffered a lot. One side my study , my dream & another side this stupid things. Which made me crazy & I had also no friends. I couldn’t understand what’s wrong with me. Even if one time came I felt it’s unbearable I thought to break my friendship with him. still , they didn’t stop their mouth, one side my career , I wanna be A 9 POINTER , AS I HAD TO CHANGE MY BARNCH , EVEN IF I ALSO TOLD MY TAECHER ABOUT THIS. But in this situation it was impossible to study. Seriously telling, sometimes I felt it’s so stupid reason. But this stupid reason took my friends & my career. no doubt I didn’t perform well in my first sem as I took time to set up my mind for engineering & many times I tried to forget my past but some of my friend’s criticizing words make me worry further. my second sem performance became too bad , FUTHER MY DREAM BECAME LIKE DREAM , I WANNA CHANGE MY BARNCH , ALAS. I COULDN’T …BUT ONE THING HURT ME A LOT …WHEN THE RESULT DECLAIRED …MY FRIEND’S LOVER & HER FRIDNS SPREAD ALL KIND RUMORS & TRIED TO SPOIL MY CHARCTER... SHE UPDATE ONE STATUS “1^ST IMPRESION IS NOT ALWAYS THE LAST IMPRESION” , AT THAT TIME I CAME TO KNOW THAT IT WAS JUST LIKE A SOLID PLAN, AS SHE HAD A BOY FRIEND , SO WHY SHE FELT JEALOUS , EVEN IF I NEVER HURT HER. IT ALSO JUST A FRIENDSHIP MATTER NO LOVE ISSUE … I HAD NEVER DONE ANY KIND OF WRONG THING, EVEN IF I NEVER HURT ANYONE. STILL THEN THEY HURT ME & SCOLDING ME. I TRIED FROM MY SIDE TO CONVINCE THEM THAT WE ARE JUST FRIENDS. NOW I FELT IT WAS MY MISTAKES I TAKE THEIR WORDS IN MY HEART & SPOILED MY PRECIOUS TIME IN WORRYING. NO DOUBT WHEN I REALIZED THEIR PLAN SUCCESS AT THAT TIME NOTHING WAS IN MY HAND. I WAS SPOILED. I ALSO REQUESTED MY FRIENDS <THAT BOY> TO TELL HIS FRIENDS THAT WHAT THEY ARE THINKING & TELLING ALL ARE WRONG. I ALSO REQUESTED HIM A LOT. BUT I GOT ONE ANSWER EVERY TIME – YOU CRAZY GIRL, JUST GET OUT… I BECOME ASTONISHED I BEGGED HELP TO CLARIFY HIS FRIENDS DOUBT, AS THEY ARE SCOLDING ME & BECAME MY GREAT ENEMY. IT HURT ME A LOT. WHEN I BEGGED HELP NO ONE WAS THERE TO HELP ME , EVEN IF MY THAT FRIEND FOR WHOM I FACED SO MUCH PROBLEM… I REALIZED MY ALL MISTAKES WITH WHOM I MADE MY FRIENDSHIP THIS ISSUE SPREAD ALL OVER MY COLLEGE BUT ALL WERE FALSE. Even if they also hacked my one face book account & mobile . When I begged help no one helped me, as I had no knowledge in computer & that also on hacking. At that time I promised to myself one day I’ll show that what I can do , where they refused me to help. These words may seems like nothing or funny , but how & what I suffered I know & how much it was painful ?? Can u imagine when nobody talk with you or scold you or behave you rudely for a stupid reason? How you feel at that time, when your became your great enemy, try to spoil your career, till now also I can’t understand what was my fault or they had done this just for fun or I was their entertainment particle . HOW A PERSON CAN TOLERATE THIS, BUT I TOLERATE WITHOUT HAVING ANY FAULT…

After that, I decided not to talk with anyone, as without any reason they became my enemy . At that time my condition became so worst, not only in my room but in college everywhere I heard badly comments. It may give them pleasure but no one could understand my mental condition. one side I was so depressed for my dream , another side these bad issues , where I had no fault & third I fail to fulfill my another dream…I became like a stone, but it gave them too pleasure to mock me, whatever I wear , whatever I do , in everything they started to comments me. No doubt at that time I broke my friendship, still they never left me alone to live a peaceful life. Every time I was in painful state… my life was become just like hell, even if they knew my weak points. I WAS VERY SERIOUS FOR MY STUDY, EVEN IF THEY KNEW HOW MUCH TIME I WAS GIVING TO MY STUDY, WHEN I ENTERED INTO MY ENGINEERING. I LABOR HARD TO GET GOOD MARKS & WANNA CHANGE MY BRANCH. BUT I FAILED BECAUSE THESE STUPID CASES, WHERE I HAD NO FAULT. ONE AFTER ONE I FAILED TO FULFILL MY DREAM. IT BROKE ME INSIDE… after 2^nd semester I was just like deaf & mute... I stop talking with everyone, as I knew I couldn’t change my branch & what I’ll give answers to my parents. How I’ll tell, what situations here I am facing & I always hurting them. one side I didn’t get medical another side my performance was so bad here. how can I face my family members , what answer I will give them???. It hurt me inside & 2^nd roommate issue. No doubt I was silent but my roommate whom I neglect she got a golden opportunity to comments me & in my block all are belongs to her branch. From my branch very few girls were there. No one was there to support me. Neither I got ny kind of support from my block, nor roommate / college. Every time I felt like I am dying, I couldn’t tolerate their words, it hurt me inside. no doubt it made me weak inside, but I didn’t wanna spoil my life for them , so I changed my mind & wanna change my life further. So I stopped talking with everyone & concentrate on my future. At that time no one was there with me to talk so, I gave maximum time in social media to get friends & I started writing. Whatever comes in my mind & all sorts of frustrations, I shared in my blog in the form of poem. For that reason, I started my writing & now it became my love, now I am very much habituated with this. I can’t think my life without writing, as it was my best friend when I had no one. So I love my writing. I create group for STOP CHILD LABOR. I just wanna change my life further & wanna forget everything. I felt like a prison, I had a very few friends nearly 2-3 friends. That previous gang who suggest me not make deep friendship with him. I felt now everything over, no doubt another side my friend was trying his best to spoil my name , as I cut off my friendship I REALLY TOO HATE HIM NOT BECAUSE HE DIDN’T HELP ME IN MY WORST TIME; I HATE HIM AS HE WAS ALSO INVOLVED IN ALL THESE MATTER. HE ALSO DESTROY MY CHARACTER, IT ASTONISHED ME. IT HURT ME MORE WHEN HE RELATES MY CHARACTER WITH A BAD MOVIE WITH A BAD CHARACTER. HE KNEW MY GREAT WEAKNESS IS MY CHARACTER. EVEN IF HE KNOW EVERYTHING, HE DID THAT WHAT IRRITATES ME . WHICH NOT ONLY MADE ME ANGRY BUT ALSO CREATED HATE-NESS FOR HIM.

My 3^rd SEM

this is very important time for me , as I knew I can’t change my branch so I have to stay with it & I have to do better here . I knew it’s quite difficult for me as I had no knowledge in computer even if I didn’t like that, but I have to. One side my study another side I had no friends. Felling so alone, at that time my social media became my friend. I started writing; at first I had no blog so I wrote poems in face book & my pages. This time I started my group STOP CHILD LABOR & even if its page also. I worked actively there. As from the beginning my motto was to do something for others. I choose small children as I too love them. So I always post related child labor & other good cause. Slowly I make some outsider friends. I feel little bit better as I got some friends through this, even if mentally I felt relax. Social media not only helped me to get some friends but also helped to show my inner strength & knowledge. After some days through face book I met two people who are FOUNDER OF ----... I really wanna make friendship with them as they are doing for a good cause. They were from IITS & even if they are very good people. I tried to help them how much I can, there was an online voting for their works and I tried to convenience my friends to vote them. I helped them for no reason, as I know they are doing good things. They wanna change some lives. So I always help them unconditionally .when I feel it can help many people, I help how much I can, I am not a big celebrity / any great personality or I have no such man power, still I always give my hands to them who need me. No matter how hard it is , I always help how much I can. so I wanna make friendship with them as my motto was I also wanna do something for my society , so I need some good people for this & their advices . but these things my friends could not tolerate as they knew very well if I’ll proceed my friendship & if I’ll success there then they will feel shame & their all plans will be failed to see me down. They couldn’t tolerate me that’s the main reason, that’s why they further started their new planning how to break me further. Here my friend for whom these all cases happened with me…he played a great role & his gang peoples not only they but also some of our seniors & some of my close friends also. They created such situations & conditions which forced me to stop making friendship with them. I knew they are very high positions & I am nothing before them, still I hope for the best. I hope I can get some help from them in my future life, as I wanna do something for my society , so they can advice me or help me in this matter. As my motto was to do something for my society. As they were also doing for their society. But this time also I failed to to do something good. My friends spoiled my one semester & spoiled my character totally. Even if they didn’t know how much it hurt me. They spread false rumors everywhere. Even if I lost some of my good friends from my school life & college life. But this case helped me to know who really loves me & who is not. Whom I take as my best friend & as a sister. she also broke her friendship with me. I didn’t know , what she heard about me. But she didn’t ask me once before breaking her friendship. I also astonished why she cut off our friendship. Means no doubt we didn’t quarrel but her all activities showed that it’s just like no relations between us. I took her as a sister, even if she also beat me & scold me in my12th college life. I tolerated everything as I love her too much. But when she left me, it hurt me a lot. Not only she but also many of my friends. I couldn’t understand what’s my fault, what I have done & WHO IS CREATING SUCH CONDITION. WHO IS TRYING TO SEPARATE ME FROM MY FRIENDS? Everyone was busy in blaming me & everyone blaming me for a stupid reason. They were believing those people who really wanna spoiled me. He <my friend> also told me in message he will ruin my life. I couldn’t forget his words, but what was my fault, no doubt I broke it. I think I had done well but it was too late. I learn one thing from my life, before making any friend think twice, at least don’t make such kind of friend who knowingly separate your all friends & make you alone. I too hate to live alone but now I am habituated with this life. Now I really don’t need any friends. My worst time told me that I had no friends. If they were my friends then they would ask me what had happened. At least before listing others they at least ask me is it true…? Sorry, no one asked me, which hurt me a lot. I was just like stone. At last I decided to cut off my friendship with all boys neither in college or any social media friends. I became silent & concentrate on my study & writing.

My 4^th SEM

I tried to concentrate on my study & show my every frustration through my writings. Whatever I wanna say I wrote in my blog. Btw I had no friends with whom I can talk & share my feelings. Even if I too hate to make friendship with anyone or I couldn’t belive anyone. As I tolerate a lot. One side my roommate problems & another side my own problem. Everyone just behave like I was a beggar. Slowly I became too alone. I felt this is a better life. as they already ruined my 3 semester , but this time I didn’t want to ruin , so I tried to forget all friendship & all cases . As these things always hurt me, break me inside. I really started my study from my 4^th sem. because from 1^nd sem end to 3^rd sem end , my time was so bad , I couldn’t concentrate on my study. I always tried to engage myself either in writing or in study or in social media. But this time I cut my friendship with all. Even if I didn’t chart with anyone in social media also. Seriously telling I may come face book or any social media but I never chart, yeah, I message. But now I really fear to make friendship with anyone, as I don’t wanna spoil my name & career.

But still people belive that rumor that I love my friend or he love me. Truth is I wanna take revenge but he spoiled me btw he had a girl friend & even if he also love another girl. I have proof also, so how can he love me. Whom he took as his best friend her really a very good girl. I really like her & I know she is the only girl who can change his all bad nature. She also likes him. So why I come between them, but I know very well he will ruin my life. But till now I couldn’t understand what was my mistakes. yeah , I had done only one mistake that is I told his secrets & scold his friends <GIRL FRIENDS , INCLUDING HIS LOVER , SORRY DON’T BE CONFUSE BETWEEN HIS LOVER & BEST FRIEND , HIS BEST FRIEND IS BEST GIRL NOT HIS LOVER , AS SHE ALSO INVOLVED IN THIS MATTER. SHE ALSO RUINED MY LIFE. BUT HIS BEST FRIEND NEVER TOLD ME ANYTHING.SHE MAYN’T TALK WITH ME BUT NEVER TOLD ANYTHING BAD ABOUT ME OR NOT INVOLVED IN THIS MATTER. SO HOW CAN I TELL HER, SHE IS BAD>. So how can I leave him? But I didn’t know for this I had not suffered a lot & for this I lost my all friends. Till now also my friends join his name with me. It really irritated me, either he or my friend. Who is a good guy, but one sentence break our friendship. Even if I have decide not to make further friendship with him, as he told me one lie. I couldn’t forgive him. But this is true he is a good guy, he never spoiled my name or he never told anything lie about me. So I heartily want he should get a girl whom he wanted, his life will be beautiful like before. But I don’t wanna make friendship further. But I can’t forgive those who ruined my career & character without any reason.

MY 5^th SEM

I was totally changed, I didn’t like before. I was silent. At that time further room shift. But my roommate didn’t want to stay with me so they told me to choose a new roommate but where I can go. So I told mama that where she will give I am ready to stay there. But when they didn’t get any 3^rd roommate they further told me to stay with them. I also agree as I stayed 2 years with them. Yeah, we had problems but I never behave them wrongly, but how can a person tolerate everything; seriously I couldn’t tolerate their comments. Which hurt me inside every time? It killed me. So sometimes I showed my frustration but it doesn’t mean I unnecessarily scold them or behave them rudely. I never did such kind of things. Frankly speaking. But during room change time they told me they have decided to stay middle bad, but this time I refused them. As I can’t agree with their all words. Even if they also capture my bad last 2 years but I never told anything to anyone. While I choose middle bad this time they told me to chose another. So I didn’t listen but I didn’t know for this I have to pay a lot. Before shifting night they forced to change the room, but at that time all room wren allotted, where I can go. I request them a lot also. But they didn’t listen they told me they couldn’t see my face even if they couldn’t live with me. They didn’t know where I’ll go but I can’t stay with them. Even if they told me I can stay with juniors as I love my juniors. They scold me a lot. No doubt that night I cried a lot. May be the first time I torture a lot as a roommate. Next day I didn’t think anything I changed my room & stayed in the middle bad, as I tolerate a lot their words & behaviors. This time I became just like stone & stubborn. I was in angry mood. As without any fault all are trying to show their dominating power over me. so I changed my respective room but that day I heard such kind of words which I never heard from my parents or any of my friends till now. But I was silent. I act as I slept & I couldn’t hear anything. She didn’t wan stay in that side as one side the electric board was break & another side the wall was dirty & I already cleaned my side. From that day I decide I’ll not afraid anyone, as my fear is their great strength. So I make myself strong & I do my work. I didn’t fear & concentrate my study. But this time I also didn’t fear & I had no everyone’s weak point so if anyone tell me anyone bad, I also indirectly hurt them using their secret. As this time I thought if I’ll be silent then I’ll die one day. As they had no heart. Then in social media I meet with SIR CORY BOOKER...his inspiring thoughts & words inspired me a lot. He is the first person who helped me a lot through his wisdom words. So I always took him as a great mentor. He was & will be. After that I meet with other people but he was the first person whose inspiring words helped me a lot. Then my changed a lot & now I feel I am not that previous sweat Lena panda, who fear everything & even if no voice. Now I don’t fear to anyone & has power to fulfill my dream. Now also I am so much emotional like before. I have a dream & I have to fulfill its & I don’t care what other people are telling about me.

Even if my friends also hacked my mobile, whatever I talk with my parents or anyone, they hear everything. So I have also no privacy, that’s the reason why I fear to tell anything to my parents. If I can’t tell anything to my parents or friends. At last what I can do, I can do only one thing. I’ll write everything & post it in public. So here I have no fault, it’s the fault of my friends they forced to write everything in public. As I can’t store my anger, I wanna flush out. So I flush out through my writings.

So here I have written everything about me. So hope you all get the root of rumors, hope you all believe me. Even if I had not any love issue from my childhood days, yeah, I need people to help me. Even if I love to make friendship with everyone. But when I seriously fall in love I’ll surely tell before the world. I promise. Because when I’ll tell at that time I have proof also. Because I can’t believe anyone & their words blindly. I believe everything when there is any proof. So if you have any doubt, you can ask any of my 12^th class college friends about my 12^th class college life, hope you all can truth from them. Even if, if u ask my engineering friends hope you can get some information. But I don’t think you can get all information. As all are like my enemy & no one is my good friend here. No one can tolerate me. I am not a brilliant student but I am not so poor also. I can do well if I can get better environment for read or if I can get peace. My friends have problem is that they want if I am writing I should n’t concentrate on study. They could n’t tolerate this. This is the bitter truth, that’s the reason they always depress my mind before exam. If I get bad marks they laugh at me. But they don’t know they are the main reason behind my failure. I have aloe seen many of my friends whom I take as my good friends how they behave me, no one is perfect in friendship here. Everyone is busy to down you, everyone is busy to spoil your name & character. How can you believe anyone here. Sorry, now it’s a very difficult task to believe anyone blindly. Seriously telling. As I suffered a lot & cheated a lot.

HOPE U ALL UNDERSTAND ME & THE REASON BEHIND MY CHANGE.

HOPE U ALL HAVE The PATIENCE TO READ SUCH A LONG STORY...THANKS, A LOT FOR READING THIS...IF YOU WANNA KNOW ABOUT ME THEN READ IT COMPLETELY ...

MY ENGINEERING LIFE

sometimes I feel my life is full of struggling , where I lost my precious time to fulfill my dream , I lost my smile with in that, I forget that in this world happy & enjoy like two words exist. but alas , I can’t get…sometimes I ask my God , why he has given me such kind of life where every time I face problems & tolerate pain… I always get one answer; it will make you a person you always wish for… BTW I WANNA GIVE A BIG THANKS TO MY LORD FOR GIVING EVERYTHING WHAT I WANTED… MAY BE INDIRECTLY BUT HE HAD GIVEN ME…

I entered in to engineering career with no hope, no doubt I entered as I got a chance to read in government college & that also a good college but I had no interest <frankly speaking > but it doesn’t mean my parents forced me to come here, it was my decision to come here. My situation & my heart said to take this painful decision & give up medical for forever. no doubt I gave up, but every time I felt I missed something in my life, that’s my inner pleasure / peace what ever you can say . I wanna smile form my heart. As I was tired, I couldn’t cry more. I wanna be happy & wanna live a life as I wish. sometimes I control my emotions & tell myself now I have one way that’s my present, I can’t go to my past & can’t repaired my future further. that’s why I have to concentrate, but I had another problem I didn’t like my branch <at first> , as I didn’t have any

knowledge in computer . Yeah, I only knew how to play game except this I didn’t knew anything. I was purely a medical oriented student. But unfortunately I didn’t get.

1^ST SEM

It was a new place , new hostel & new friends. I came late to my hostel; it was nearly 5-6 o’clock. I remembered, when I entered my two roomies already came & they already finished their all work, thanks god my aunt was there with me, she helped me to keep my important assets in the right place. Night came I was so excited to make friends as I was absent in the interaction time & I came late also, after talking with my two roommate, I became so happy & then I came to know that one of my roommate is from our area, means not exact same place but it will take 2-3 hours in train. So We planned to go home together, as I very much afraid to go home alone. So I got a partner. Then we promised we will live together & never quarrel, if there would be any confusion then tell directly, don’t hide anything, be open. We always try to manage everything. But I was little close to one of my roommate who was from our locality, as she also from Computer science branch, so I thought she can help me in study. our days passed away , at that time I love to make friendship with everyone & even if I also talked with everyone in a very nice way, but sometimes I also offended by my friends due to this medical reason. Some of my friends also criticize me in a diff. way, as I didn’t get medical. I have also tolerated many mocking kind of words, still I was silent & I had friendship with everyone. Even if most of the night our branch mates gather one of my friends’ room that was our meeting place. where we share our crazy memories , most of the time I share my ideas about biology, no doubt I didn’t get but I too love ZOOLOGY & EVEN IF I GOT HIGHEST MARK IN THAT SUBJECT.. So I share my ideas that were a very fun time. Seriously telling, I can’t forget. Sometimes I wanna go back & repair my mistakes but the bitter truth is no one can go back & it’s very difficult to forget everything what was happened with me. I wanna to start my friendship again but my heart says no!!!. I can’t tolerate more, I can’t tolerate fake friendship. My heart always cries but it doesn’t sound.

Now I gonna start further where I ended, I was so happy at that time. No doubt my career tension was always there, which hurt me every time but it was manageable & another side slowly slowly my friendship became deeper with my one roommate who was from my area, even if I always took her as a sister, I also loved her so too much & I helped her a lot, but at that time my two roomies always quarrel. They quarreled for stupid reasons. Actually one of my roommates was not adjectives & compromising nature, as it was her first hostel life. I understand her, so they always quarrel in a small matter & I became the mediator at that time. Whenever they started quarrel I scold any one of them. My motto was maintaining peace in my room & even if I want we should live like as we lived at the first. I also tried my best, but my only fault was I neglect one of my roommate, that was my biggest fault, as I was so close with one of my roommate & forget about her, but I never hurt her knowingly or unknowingly , even if her words were so rough , so I didn’t like to talk with her at first. My friendship was good with my roommates, even if they <My two roommates> didn’t talk with each other at that time. I didn’t know what’s the problems arise / happened? Whole scenario changed. Days passed, slowly we make a gang, all are CSE & I WAS ONLY “IT” and I love my gang. It was small Gang consists of “7” members including me at that time. We share everything with each other. but one day there was disturbance create between me & one of my friend <in that gang , with whom my roommate was very close> , our friendship had no problem, it was diff. problem which I too hate , she told me to do that. It was the starting phase of misunderstanding between me & my friends, but I had no mistakes. I refused her as I didn’t want to spoil my life; I know what’s good & bad. They might be take it easy but how can I take that, while that thing related to my life. How can I take any decision blindly? That’s why my roommate also little bit angry upon me. But It’s TRUE in my life I give so much importance to friendship but it doesn’t mean I agree with their words or listen their all words. From the beginning I can’t believe anyone blindly except my parents. That was the starting problem with my roommate & one of my friends who was close to my roommate & was her bench mate. Then time passed, still I tried to keep my friendship & wanna try to solve one problem. But it’s my general problem, while solving one problem I always create another problem. I did the mistakes, for which now also I am suffering. To keep my friendship I made a plan how to overcome the problem, I told lie before everyone that I love someone & made a different story before them, so that they will not convince me about any boy matter. As I too hate any love story at that time. But I didn’t know my one lie can created so many problems. I took one of my friend names, I knew he was very good, so I told his name before everyone & I was sure that he has a girl friend. So at first to show my friends I keep my friendship with him through social media like FACEBOOK, but I didn’t know he had no girl friend, actually he told me lie at that time, but after few days I came to know the whole story. So I stop my whole drama there, even if I was very offended at that time. Which I can’t forget.

2^nd SEM

My great fault was I made friendship with and a guy who really don’t deserve, who spoiled my half career. It was not a love issue, he was my friend. Making friendship with him was my great mistake, for which now also I am suffering. No doubt at first I REALLY TOO HATE HIM. Whenever I online in Face book, he always send “HI” message, so every time I offline him. One day I became so angry & told my roommate that “he is from your branch, right??? Then talk with him. Every time he is ending “HI”, but I can’t replay him. Seriously telling, I too hate such kind of guy, WHO LOVE TO SHOW UP.” AS HE WAS VERY FAMOUS IN OUR COLLEGE FOR HIS BRAND SHOW UP, HE SHOW UP THAT HE WAS FROM A VERY RICH FAMILY. HA! I really too hate such kind of guys, then my roommate laughed & told don’t worry, talk with him, he is not a bad guy, yaar. He love to show up & little bit proudly but he is good & helping nature. He is not a bad guy, you can talk. Then I send him “HELLO”. Then we started our talking, but after talking with him. I felt he is good, he was very funny. Then whenever I came face book we chart, it was just general. What you ate in canteen, how much??? He also elaborate how much he had eaten, it was just like a friendship. Then one day he told me you know boys are laughing at you & called you crazy, he told me the reason & told me to rectify that nature. I also keep his words & tried to rectify. He was very open & good. So I never felt anything wrong, he always told me my all bad nature, whenever he heard anything wrong about me in hostel. He told me first & always suggested me to rectify, he was just like my guide. No doubt he may bad for others but he was very good for me as he always tried to rectify my nature. but some of my gang mates told me not to make deep friendship with him , but I didn’t know why , I also asked them but they told me whatever they are telling , that’s good for me. They don’t want to see me in problem & sad, that’s why they are telling. But I couldn’t understand. I didn’t listen & ignore their words, I told them we are just friends in social media, so don’t worry. No doubt we were staying in one campus but we never talked with each other front to front, our conversation was through social media. It’s funny but true. I LIKE HIS ONE QUALITY MOST- he was a very good writer, he had a blog where he had described the beauty of his lover, whom he loved so much, she was from our college. How he met & everything. When I read, I became speechless; he was a very good writer. I also commented there to write more & our next IIIT - chetan bhagat . HIS BLOG NAME WAS “MY LIFE MY WAY” where he had written all things about his love life whom he loved so much, she was from our college & his branch. It also inspired me to write in blog, no doubt I also wrote & I too love to write also, but I wrote in my diary, I didn’t know about blog & website. But from him I came to know how to write in blog, it also inspired me. He become my inspiration not my competitor, I only follow him, but my motto was not to do any kind of competition with him. Seriously telling. He was my friend, not a competitor. But I didn’t know this friendship will take my all friends & career. I just make simple friendship, how a girl make friendship with a boy but it became a big issue in my case. I didn’t know what’s wrong with me, why my friends behave so rudely…my actual problematic life started here.

His lover & her girlfriend gang are the main culprit. Actually they spoiled my name, I just made a friendship with him but they spread like I am his girl friend. Even if they behave so rudely with me, I lost my maximum friends even if my character, but it astonished me – WHOM HE PROPOSED & FOR WHOM MY FRIEND WAS CRAZY THAT GIRL HAD A BOY FRIEND THAT’S THE REASON SHE REFUSED HIM. BUT WHEN I MAKE FRIENDSHIP, SHE BECAME SO JEALOUS. I really couldn’t understand the chemistry. What’s going here? I lost many of my friends for that guy, but we have no deep friendship in real life ! We had friendship in social media. But we never ever talked with each other in real life. But it made me angry when they spoiled my character; they spread many kinds of rumors about me. At that time I realize why my close friends were advised me to break friendship with him. One time came when I had no friends, as they had a large gang & before them I am nothing. So everyone behave me as I am a prisoner. I had done a crime. But what was my fault. It made me cry, without any fault I suffered a lot. One side my study , my dream & another side this stupid things. Which made me crazy & I had also no friends. I couldn’t understand what’s wrong with me. Even if one time came I felt it’s unbearable I thought to break my friendship with him. still , they didn’t stop their mouth, one side my career , I wanna be A 9 POINTER , AS I HAD TO CHANGE MY BARNCH , EVEN IF I ALSO TOLD MY TAECHER ABOUT THIS. But in this situation it was impossible to study. Seriously telling, sometimes I felt it’s so stupid reason. But this stupid reason took my friends & my career. no doubt I didn’t perform well in my first semester as I took time to set up my mind for engineering & many times I tried to forget my past but some of my friend’s criticizing words make me worry further. my second semester performance became too bad , FURTHER MY DREAM BECAME LIKE DREAM , I WANNA CHANGE MY BRANCH , ALAS. I COULDN’T …BUT ONE THING HURT ME A LOT …WHEN THE RESULT DECLARED …MY FRIEND’S LOVER & HER FRIENDS SPREAD ALL KIND RUMORS & TRIED TO SPOIL MY CHARACTER .. SHE UPDATE ONE STATUS “1^ST IMPRESSION IS NOT ALWAYS THE LAST IMPRESSION” , AT THAT TIME I CAME TO KNOW THAT IT WAS JUST LIKE A SOLID PLAN, AS SHE HAD A BOY FRIEND , SO WHY SHE FELT JEALOUS , EVEN IF I NEVER HURT HER. IT ALSO JUST A FRIENDSHIP MATTER NO LOVE ISSUE … I HAD NEVER DONE ANY KIND OF WRONG THING, EVEN IF I NEVER HURT ANYONE. STILL THEN THEY HURT ME & SCOLDING ME. I TRIED FROM MY SIDE TO CONVINCE THEM THAT WE ARE JUST FRIENDS. NOW I FELT IT WAS MY MISTAKES I TAKE THEIR WORDS IN MY HEART & SPOILED MY PRECIOUS TIME IN WORRYING. NO DOUBT WHEN I REALIZED THEIR PLAN SUCCESS AT THAT TIME NOTHING WAS IN MY HAND. I WAS SPOILED. I ALSO REQUESTED MY FRIENDS <THAT BOY> TO TELL HIS FRIENDS THAT WHAT THEY ARE THINKING & TELLING ALL ARE WRONG. I ALSO REQUESTED HIM A LOT. BUT I GOT ONE ANSWER EVERY TIME – YOU CRAZY GIRL, JUST GET OUT… I BECOME ASTONISHED I BEGGED HELP TO CLARIFY HIS FRIENDS DOUBT, AS THEY ARE SCOLDING ME & BECAME MY GREAT ENEMY. IT HURT ME A LOT. WHEN I BEGGED HELP NO ONE WAS THERE TO HELP ME , EVEN IF MY THAT FRIEND FOR WHOM I FACED SO MUCH PROBLEM… I REALIZED MY ALL MISTAKES WITH WHOM I MADE MY FRIENDSHIP THIS ISSUE SPREAD ALL OVER MY COLLEGE BUT ALL WERE FALSE. Even if they also hacked my one face book account & mobile . When I begged help no one helped me, as I had no knowledge in computer & that also on hacking. At that time I promised to myself one day I’ll show that what I can do , where they refused me to help. These words may seems like nothing or funny , but how & what I suffered I know & how much it was painful ?? Can u imagine when nobody talk with you or scold you or behave you rudely for a stupid reason? How you feel at that time, when your friends became your great enemy, try to spoil your career, till now also I can’t understand what was my fault or they had done this just for fun or I was their entertainment particle . HOW A PERSON CAN TOLERATE THIS, BUT I TOLERATE WITHOUT HAVING ANY FAULT…

After that, I decided not to talk with anyone, as without any reason they became my enemy . At that time my condition became so worst, not only in my room but in college everywhere I heard badly comments. It may give them pleasure but no one could understand my mental condition. one side I was so depressed for my dream , another side these bad issues , where I had no fault & third I fail to fulfill my another dream…I became like a stone, but it gave them too pleasure to mock me, whatever I wear , whatever I do , in everything they started to comments me. No doubt at that time I broke my friendship, still they never left me alone to live a peaceful life. Every time I was in painful state… my life was become just like hell, even if they knew my weak points. I WAS VERY SERIOUS FOR MY STUDY, EVEN IF THEY KNEW HOW MUCH TIME I WAS GIVING TO MY STUDY, WHEN I ENTERED INTO MY ENGINEERING. I LABOR HARD TO GET GOOD MARKS & WANNA CHANGE MY BRANCH. BUT I FAILED BECAUSE THESE STUPID CASES, WHERE I HAD NO FAULT. ONE AFTER ONE I FAILED TO FULFILL MY DREAM. IT BROKE ME INSIDE… after 2^nd semester I was just like deaf & mute... I stop talking with everyone, as I knew I couldn’t change my branch & what I’ll give answers to my parents. How I’ll tell, what situations here I am facing & I always hurting them. one side I didn’t get medical another side my performance was so bad here. how can I face my family members , what answer I will give them???. It hurt me inside & 2^nd roommate issue. No doubt I was silent but my roommate whom I neglect she got a golden opportunity to comments me & in my block all are belongs to her branch. From my branch very few girls were there. No one was there to support me. Neither I got any kind of support from my block, nor roommate / college. Every time I felt like I am dying, I couldn’t tolerate their words, it hurt me inside. no doubt it made me weak inside, but I didn’t wanna spoil my life for them , so I changed my mind & wanna change my life further. So I stopped talking with everyone & concentrate on my future. At that time no one was there with me to talk so, I gave maximum time in social media to get friends & I started writing. Whatever comes in my mind & all sorts of frustrations, I shared in my blog in the form of poem. For that reason, I started my writing & now it became my love, now I am very much habituated with this. I can’t think my life without writing, as it was my best friend when I had no one. So I love my writing. I create group for STOP CHILD LABOR. I just wanna change my life further & wanna forget everything. I felt like a prison, I had a very few friends nearly 2-3 friends. That previous words of my close friends who suggested me not make deep friendship with him. I felt now everything over, no doubt another side my friend was trying his best to spoil my name , as I cut off my friendship I REALLY TOO HATE HIM NOT BECAUSE HE DIDN’T HELP ME IN MY WORST TIME; I HATE HIM AS HE WAS ALSO INVOLVED IN ALL THESE MATTER. HE ALSO DESTROY MY CHARACTER, IT ASTONISHED ME. IT HURT ME MORE WHEN HE RELATES MY CHARACTER WITH A BAD MOVIE WITH A BAD CHARACTER. HE KNEW MY GREAT WEAKNESS IS MY CHARACTER. EVEN IF HE KNEW EVERYTHING, HE DID WHAT IRRITATES ME . WHICH NOT ONLY MADE ME ANGRY BUT ALSO CREATED HATE-NESS FOR HIM.

My 3^rd SEM

This is very important period for me , as I knew I can’t change my branch so I have to stay with it & I have to do better here . I knew it’s quite difficult for me as I had no knowledge in computer even if I didn’t like that, but I have to. One side my study another side I had no friends. Felling so alone, at that time my social media became my friend. I started writing; at first I had no blog so I wrote poems in face book & my pages. This time I started my group STOP CHILD LABOR & even if its page also. I worked actively there. As from the beginning my motto was to do something for others. I choose small children as I too love them. So I always post related child labor & other good cause. Slowly I make some outsider friends. I feel little bit better as I got some friends through this, even if mentally I felt relax. Social media not only helped me to get some friends but also helped to show my inner strength & knowledge. After some days through face book I met two people who are FOUNDER OF ----... I really wanna make friendship with them as they are doing for a good cause. They were from IITS & even if they are very good people. I tried to help them how much I can, there was an online voting for their works and I tried to convenience my friends to vote them. I helped them for no reason, as I know they are doing good reason They wanna change some lives. So I always helped them unconditionally .when I felt it can help many people, I helped how much I can, I am not a big celebrity / any great personality or I have no such man power, still I always give my hands to them who need me. No matter how hard it is , I always help how much I can. so I wanna make friendship with them as my motto was I also wanna do something for my society , so I need some good people for this & their advices . but these things my friends could not tolerate as they knew very well if I’ll proceed my friendship & if I’ll success there then they will feel shame & their all plans will be failed to see me down. They couldn’t tolerate me that’s the main reason, that’s why they further started their new planning how to break me further. Here my friend for whom these all cases happened with me…he played a great role & his gang peoples not only they but also some of our seniors & some of my close friends also. They created such situations & conditions which forced me to stop making friendship with them. I knew they are very high positions & I am nothing before them, still I hope for the best. I hope I can get some help from them in my future life, as I wanna do something for my society , so they can advice me or help me in this matter. As my motto was to do something for my society. As they were also doing for their society. But this time also I failed to do something good. My friends spoiled my one semester & spoiled my character totally. Even if they didn’t know how much it hurt me. They spread false rumors everywhere. Even if I lost some of my good friends from my school life & college life. But this case helped me to know who really loves me & who is not. Whom I take as my best friend & as a sister. she also broke her friendship with me. I didn’t know why ? what she heard about me. But she didn’t ask me once before breaking her friendship. I also astonished why she cut off our friendship. Means no doubt we didn’t quarrel but her all activities showed that it’s just like no relations between us. I took her as a sister, even if she also beat me & scold me in my 12th college life. I tolerated everything as I love her too much. But when she left me, it hurt me a lot. Not only she but also many of my friends. I couldn’t understand what’s my fault, what I have done & WHO IS CREATING SUCH CONDITION. WHO IS TRYING TO SEPARATE ME FROM MY FRIENDS? Everyone was busy in blaming me & everyone blaming me for a stupid reason. They were believing those people who really wanna spoiled me. He <my friend> also told me in message he will ruin my life. I couldn’t forget his words, but what was my fault, no doubt I broke it. I think I had done well but it was too late. I learn one thing from my life, before making any friend think twice, at least don’t make such kind of friend who knowingly separate your all friends & make you alone. I too hate to live alone but now I am habituated with this life. Now I really don’t need any friends. My worst time told me that I had no friends. If they were my friends then they would ask me what had happened. At least before listing others they at least ask me is it true…? Sorry, no one asked me, which hurt me a lot. I was just like stone. At last I decided to cut off my friendship with all boys neither in college or any social media friends. I became silent & concentrate on my study & writing.

My 4^th SEM

I tried to concentrate on my study & show my every frustration through my writings. Whatever I wanna say I wrote in my blog. Btw I had no friends with whom I can talk & share my feelings. Even if I too hate to make friendship with anyone or I couldn’t believe anyone. As I tolerate a lot. One side my roommate problems & another side my own problem. Everyone just behave like I was a beggar. Slowly I became too alone. I felt this is a better life. as they already ruined my 3 semester , but this time I didn’t want to ruin , so I tried to forget all friendship & all cases . As these things always hurt me, break me inside. I really started my study from my 4^th sem. because from 1^nd sem end to 3^rd sem end , my time was so bad , I couldn’t concentrate on my study. I always tried to engage myself either in writing or in study or in social media. But this time I cut my friendship with all. Even if I didn’t chart with anyone in social media also. Seriously telling I may come face book or any social media but I never chart, yeah, I message. But now I really fear to make friendship with anyone, as I don’t wanna spoil my name & career.

But still people believe that rumor that I love my friend or he love me. Truth is I wanna take revenge but he spoiled me btw he had a girl friend & even if he also love another girl. I have proof also, so how can he love me. Whom he took as his best friend her really a very good girl. I really like her & I know she is the only girl who can change his all bad nature. She also likes him. So why I come between them, but I know very well he will ruin my life. But till now I couldn’t understand what was my mistakes. yeah , I had done only one mistake that is I told his secrets & scold his friends <GIRL FRIENDS , INCLUDING HIS LOVER , SORRY DON’T BE CONFUSE BETWEEN HIS LOVER & BEST FRIEND , HIS BEST FRIEND IS BEST GIRL NOT HIS LOVER , AS SHE ALSO INVOLVED IN THIS MATTER. SHE ALSO RUINED MY LIFE. BUT HIS BEST FRIEND NEVER TOLD ME ANYTHING.SHE MAYN’T TALK WITH ME BUT NEVER TOLD ANYTHING BAD ABOUT ME OR NOT INVOLVED IN THIS MATTER. SO HOW CAN I TELL HER, SHE IS BAD>. So how can I leave him? But I didn’t know for this I had not suffered a lot & for this I lost my all friends. Till now also my friends join his name with me. It really irritated me, either he or my friend. Who is a good guy, but one sentence break our friendship. Even if I have decide not to make further friendship with him, as he told me one lie. I couldn’t forgive him. But this is true he is a good guy, he never spoiled my name or he never told anything lie about me. So I heartily want he should get a girl whom he wanted, his life will be beautiful like before. But I don’t wanna make friendship further. But I can’t forgive those who ruined my career & character without any reason.

MY 5^th SEM

I was totally changed, I didn’t like before. I was silent. At that time further room shift. But my roommate didn’t want to stay with me so they told me to choose a new roommate but where I can go. So I told mama that where she will give I am ready to stay there. But when they didn’t get any 3^rd roommate they further told me to stay with them. I also agree as I stayed 2 years with them. Yeah, we had problems but I never behave them in wrongly manner, but how can a person tolerate everything; seriously I couldn’t tolerate their comments. Which hurt me inside every time? It killed me. So sometimes I showed my frustration but it doesn’t mean I unnecessarily scold them or behave them rudely. I never did such kind of things. Frankly speaking. But during room change time they told me they have decided to stay middle bad, but this time I refused them. As I can’t agree with their all words. Even if they also capture my bad last 2 years but I never told anything to anyone. While I choose middle bad this time they told me to chose another. So I didn’t listen but I didn’t know for this I have to pay a lot. Before shifting night they forced to change the room, but at that time all room were allotted, where I can go. I request them a lot also. But they didn’t listen they told me “they can’t see my face even if they can’t live with me. They didn’t know where I’ll go but I can’t stay with them. Even if they told me I can stay with juniors as I love my juniors.” They scold me a lot. No doubt that night I cried a lot. May be the first time I torture a lot as a roommate. Next day I didn’t think anything I changed my room & stayed in the middle bad, as I tolerate a lot their words & behaviors. This time I became just like stone & stubborn. I was in angry mood. As without any fault all are trying to show their dominating power over me. so I changed my respective room but that day I heard such kind of words which I never heard from my parents or any of my friends till now. But I was silent. I act as I slept & I couldn’t hear anything. She didn’t wanna stay in that side as one side the electric board was break & another side the wall was dirty & I already cleaned my side. From that day I decide I’ll not afraid anyone, as my fear is their great strength. So I make myself strong & I do my work. I didn’t fear & concentrate my study. But this time I also didn’t fear & I had no everyone’s weak point so if anyone tell me anyone bad, I also indirectly hurt them using their secret. As this time I thought if I’ll be silent then I’ll die one day. As they had no heart. Then in social media I meet with SIR CORY BOOKER...his inspiring thoughts & words inspired me a lot. He is the first person who helped me a lot through his wisdom words. So I always took him as a great mentor. He was & will be. After that I meet with other people but he was the first person whose inspiring words helped me a lot. Then my changed a lot & now I feel I am not that previous sweat Lena panda, who fear everything & even if no voice. Now I don’t fear to anyone & has power to fulfill my dream. Now also I am so much emotional like before. I have a dream & I have to fulfill its & I don’t care what other people are telling about me.

6^th SEMESTER

After summer break end, I came hostel with lots of hope that, I’ll try my best to live in a united way. But the day I reached at my hostel, I gotta know we have to change our rooms. it’s compulsory for all , my roommates told me to choose your room mate as they were not going to stay with me, they had chosen their 3^rd roommate, my all good friends were happy with their roommates so I didn’t request anyone to stay with me . that’s why in the end I told my mem “where she will allot me I’ll stay there.” In the end moment my roommates didn’t get their third roommates , they were two so they fear if mem gave them 4^th bedded room ,even they didn’t know if they will get the 3^rd bedded room who will be their roommate , that’s why they further asked me to be their roommate as I waited for the final result , I had faith on mem she’ll give me better room , still when my roommates asked me to stay with them further I become happy as I spend 2 years time with them , I am quit emotional. So I signed for stay with them in the new room. after coming room I felt relaxed that , I don’t have to worry for lose my block or my friends who were staying with me from last 2 years (my side roommates). I was happy , I started packing but many students were there who were unhappy due to floor problem , no one wants to stay 3^rd or 4^th floor or 5^th floor , so many students were there not willing to change their room , many also there who were very lazy kind . but I already packed my luggage and bed even I have decided to stay in middle bed so that I don’t have to disturb my 2 roommates as I gonna cover my side in a screen . that’s why I planned for staying in middle bed , even one of my roommate stayed 2 years in my bed even they used 3^rd almary still I never complain in anything , but this time I have decided I’ll open my mouth and demand my rights. When mem , gave order to change the room , I change my room immediately to my new floor and stayed in middle bed , when my roommates got to know about me they told me to left that room and stay with juniors in junior block , they told me either I gonna stay there alone or they will stay . I was stubborn that time , I promise I’ll not listen them , they didn’t got roommates so they asked me to stay with them , now I demand middle bed to stay so that I can cover my bed part in screen easily otherwise I can’t live peacefully , they will comment on everything and I can’t tolerate . everyone bounds to change their room, when my roommates start torturing scolding me for middle bed I listen everything like I don’t have ear, one of my roommate scold mien such language till now my parents also didn’t point on those points, she pointed on my career + my character, my two weak points still I listen silently as I promised no more disturbance + no more toleration. I can’t fight with her better non violence moment (sleep like donkey) , still I tried my best to make my roommates happy , I also helped them when they need , I still remember I always bring panipuri for my roommates after coming my core java class . Even it’s late I never forget to bring pain pure even what she need; I always bring that for her. One day we both roommates solve one of my roommate problem , one day I also support my roommate in a wrong case even I know what I am doing that’s not right but I was trying to win the hearts of my roommates , still they have problems with me. Which hurt me every time, in 6^th semester time .when further we got notice that we have to change our room in 7^th semester. they didn’t told me anything, but after my IWT exam OS exam was there, only one day gap that’s sun day, onside I was happy as I performed well in IWT even the question was hard another side fully tensed for my OS exam, on Sunday morning my roommates told me to chose a new roommate for me as they don’t wanna stay with me. that was my last year like all , I also wanna spend my last year with my friends , even I knew I last year no one gonna change their roommates but I got a unique roommates. I told them , ok and left the room , onside I was tensed what I gonna do and where I gonna stay as it’s my last year I have to prepaid for gate + prepare for my other exams + own semesters , another side I don’t wanna left my friends who were with me last 3 years. I cried even quit break at that time. That’s why I send a message to TT MEM, who was in student disciplinary committee, even she was the head of the girl’s hostel. I wrote an application with full issues even request her to stay in junior block as I can’t tolerate more torture from my own friends. My 6^th semester end but, strange that time I got 7.50 % whereas I spend my whole exams in depression but I worked hard in previous. May my God bless me?

7^th and 8^th SEMESTER

I came home for summer vacation, every time I checked my IIIT website to check the room change, one day I got to know that I got a room in 5^th floor in junior block, I was happy that I got a single room means 3 bedded room but single allotted, my previous room mates were in my front of my room. I was happy that mem , had did best punishment ,as they wanted I should left my block and stay alone that’s why she also gave them the same punishment, what my roommates wanted , I should go for . at first I felt uncomfortable , as I was in junior block even I didn’t know anyone there , then one Muslim girl (my junior) requested me to stay with me . I became happy at least I got one roommate as I can’t live in a single room for 1 year. No doubt I told my mama to stay alone in a single room, but there is a huge difference between saying anything in anger and pain and doing ,when you become cool: P

The same thing happened with me, but slowly I adjust even I fall in love with my block most peaceful block among whole block. My roommate was also good, she rarely stay in room as for her study purpose she always stay one of her friend’s room. I was happy there, after some days my roommates also left that room as they can’t stay there even I also don’t want they should stay, as I fear if they will create any problem between me and my roommate because my roommate is close to my one of my previous roommate whom I loved very much but she cheated me. There always one fear in my heart, no disturbance this year because onside my own semester another side my gate preparation and most important was my project paper which I wanted to publish. My time goes well in whole semester. But one thing hurt me , I may left my block my batch block but I never left my friends , when it comes to minor project I approach all to become my partner but nobody came to become my project partner , that’s why I chose to do my whole project alone , at first I fear what to do and how as I don’t have any idea but thanks god , one of my favorite sir , helped me how to do the project and gave me complete idea on project then I chose the topic which I love most , then the memo who taught us but I got a different project guide , who was a HOD , at first I felt that I should change my guide as I can’t understand how to work under her , whether she will help me or not as I was doing project alone. But then I got to know , she is a nice lady , she helped me a lot in my project , if I can complete my project well because of her . In my minor project 3 lectures contributions were there, first rakash sir, then the mem in which subject my project was based on, final major role played by my project guide. when everyone hate me , at that time one lady who loved me a lot even helped me a lot , she do everything whatever I say to her. She was our sweeping lady, who clean and sweep our floor, she was the only person who helped me lot. She was doing my shopping her, she even brought food for me, she was doing work for her family she was a diabetics patients still she was working. I can’t help her so much but how much I can try my best to do. I love her so much , when my juniors scold me even didn’t help me , she helped me a lot . She brought me food even everything whatever I need. As in 7^th semester last and 8^th semester first I stop going outside due to my study pressure. It doesn’t mean I gave money for her work; we had a beautiful relation called as daughter and mother. She helped me even helped me oat when I left the college. She helped me in the end of my college life. but for me she had to listen a lot , our juniors complain about her before our hostel matron as she don’t work properly whereas I had seen she did her job perfectly even I saw even she was in fever she forced to do work and some girls behaved her so rudely. I don’t know about others but she was kind of like my mother in my hostel when nobody was there, one day she wash my cloth even she helped me a lot when I suffered from fever. I can’t forget her help, never ever. I believe money is not a big issue, heart matters a lot. Who love me I love them too no matter what position you have or what work you do. Anyone can ask her about our relation. But for this I don’t want she should face problem.

Like this my time goes on but my bad life started when my roommate’s another roommate came to that block, she started torture me with her roommate outside the room. It was totally hilarious kind of situation; I was fully frustrated because of them. They talk with their boyfriends besides of my room. They talk like someone scolding someone , means very loudly even in my block only 2-3 rooms were vacant and my room was in last so they got a better option to talk loudly , my semester and their semesters in alternative way , so they can talk loudly as much as they can during my semester time , even my side roommates listen music with sound box during exam time , next day my exam but they never let me sleep , but I had to tolerate all , like wise my 7^th and 8^th semester spend .my 7^th seem was better than my 8^th semester , I don’t know I never talk with anyone still they love to torture me , that also my junior not my friends or competitors . I don’t know neither I talk with them nor I do ragging whereas they act like I am their junior and they are doing ragging with me. But I have got a good roommate that was my positive point. Otherwise in the end further my life turn into hell when all juniors start attacking me outside my room. I just pray before my lord to leave my college as soon as possible due to my painful life.

This is true my engineering life was quit bad , but it hurt me when I got one back paper where as I was selected for visiting students in ARIES (astronaut) , which was a stepping stone to pursue my career in space science, which hurt me badly. I felt like my dream became like dream. I love space science. So in the end moment I got to feel neither my friends or juniors nor some lectures love me , some lectures were there who helped me a lot , I have 3 favorite lectures in my college , I love them a lot.

1 Comments

Unknown4 August 2013 at 10:24
Please stop writing blogs...Your English is pathetic and the way you form a statement makes it impossible for any normal human being to understand it.Kindly take my advice and don't make fun of yourself by writing such grammatically incorrect english statements.

MY HOSTEL LIFE-PERSONAL LIFE STORY (PART 4)

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