MY BAD LIFE

Wrote this poem looking at my present life, I don’t know what actually going in my life (please don’t relate my life problems with my JOB, I am happy for my JOB INTERVIEW, NEXT TIME I’LL APPLY WITH FULL PREPARATION, MAY I GET BETTER POSITION *WHICH RESPONSIBILITY I CAN HANDLE PROPERLY / WHICH WORK I CAN DO PERFECTLY*) This is separate issues, My own personal life problems. How people spreading rumors & what I am facing in my daily life. I know if I’ll say anything everyone will take me as mad even my parents, as they think I think a lot & I am not a celebrity / most talented person who can have many enemies. But whom I’ll say or share , it’s not any criminal issue even not domestic violence. It’s my dream issue, what I am facing in recent days. How people behave me abnormally, it confuses me too. But sorry, I am unable to handle myself. I don’t know what is going, even I didn’t behave rudely with anyone people busy in behave me rudely & some people also who are busy in mocking me. I don’t get a perfect environment for peace & love, what are important in my life. I am searching that , MY DREAM ALSO MATTERS A LOT but many are there who are busy in break my dream into pieces , that’s why I wanna go very far , where nobody know me & I’ll make my name using my own talent & labor not by someone’s help , As in present world many people got name & fame taking the help of someone either their relatives or lover etc , what I lack in my life , I  am trying to rise by own . I can do hard labor but I need a good environment to do my work peacefully, people always suggest me adjust with all kind of environment & Situations but I can’t adjust with hate which I am facing nearly about last 5 years. Just praying before my lord sends me that place where I can get peace ANY PLACE IN WORLD, BUT I WANT PEACE & WANTS TO MAKE MY DREAM TRUE. That’s actually what I want as I know I can’t rise here neither I’ll get support nor anyone wants to see my success. I WANT TO LEAVE , this is my only request before my lord help me to except out , as I don’t have other option. QUIT YOUR LIFE IS THE EASIEST WAY TO GET PEACE BUT I HATE THIS KIND OF PEACE, LORD GAVE ME LIFE LET ME MAKE MY LIFE PURPOSEFUL. That’s what I want but I can’t rise here that also I am sure , I can’t live in stress & hate . Seriously saying, For me MY DREAM Matters a lot than anything in this world but people have great problem with that , that actually hurts me !

Don’t know why I feel like

My bad shadows are finally going to free me

They are dancing in my soul

Sorrow slips over me like rain usually does on soft skin
it as cold as marble stone.
I'm overwhelmed by this sudden state of neutrality

Feeling tough as my life is rough

I sense that I am no longer alone in my lonely journey,
some little angels whispering music to my hear that’s really inaudible.
I cannot understand a thing of what they're saying.
Silence is the beauty that I behold,

Sometimes I feel Let the life how it is going

Sometimes I feel let me give some time to make it perfect

I am not going to lose my hope

Like when caterpillar feels life is going to end it becomes butterfly

Everyone is there to laugh at you

But nobody is there who can cry with you

This is the world where I am living

Now neither I am expecting anything nor am I blaming to anyone

I have problem with my lord & my misfortune

Whom I scold and why I scold

If my own life feel jealous on me then whom I blame

Oh, yes! My life is painful I know it

Still I find peace within it

People are here spreading rumors about me

People around me busy in spoiling my image & career

People behave me abnormally

Still I am living keeping my life problems separately

I have decided I’ll not give up my life

Let me try to make my dreams true

When life is going through bad situations no one stands beside you

Even your image also left you alone

As they feel it may be contagious

They may affected the sorrow kind of disease

No one really cares no one really understand

This is the unique world

Neither your family not outsiders who really deserves for your life

This is the world that I know

I wanna go very far but before that I have to be that much eligible first

I wanna got somewhere, where I can get the peace first

I am searching love & peace around me

Whereas I born with faulty birth moon time

My life taught me tolerates everything & don’t say anything to anyone

My life always ask me one question

Don’t say anything to anyone otherwise people will call you mad

No one will believe you & no one cares for you

Whom you are going to say & why you are going to say

Is there anyone who really cares for you?

Who really wants your success?

Who really wants to see your smile?

Who really loves you?

Is there anyone left who really loves you

Is there anyone left?

If no then why you are worry & for whom

Precede your life but never give up your life

You don’t know miracle can happen at anytime

Much time I want to give up my life

However in next moment when I realize my purpose of my life

I give up the thought life murder myself

I know many people are there who wanna literally kill me

Who actually wants I should die

Some told me in front of my face & some in back

Even I know if I’ll die today many people will become’ll make merry

Still I am suborn I’ll try till my death & never ever give up

I am in right place

Ha, people are moving as per rumors to ruin my dream

However no one wants to know me personally

I give you challenge, go and research about me, my careers & my life

You’ll not get any black spot or bad mark

I am conscious even very strict

That’s why I have too many enemies

Still I don’t care I can’t support wrong & bad

I am moving forward as per my life plan

Let God decides what gonna happen next

I am trying as per my talent

Let my God decides next

Yes, I'm going' down to the wonderful life
yes, I'm switching to another world
yes, I'm going down on the perfect dream
yes, I'm going' down with broken ribs
yes, I'm going' towards my day dreaming