PRIDE AND PREJUDICE , A NEW CONFLICT IN MODERN WORLD

I choose this topic to discuss, as I feel it has great importance in our present life, that’s why I choose this to discuss today.

Pride and prejudices , the book written 200 years back but still it is like ever green for all of us and still the morals can be adaptable .

In modern world, it’s too difficult to differentiate between pride and prejudice as this world is so complicated and everything seems illustration of false pride-ness. Now a days pride has change it’s value to all together or can say a difference version of it but prejudices still follow the same rule, but why?

We live in such society where we easily accept the negative things than positive things in society.

So prejudices is something like that which affects us badly . So, is there is any difference between prejudices and discrimination?

I think, yes! It has.

Prejudices -

Prejudice, is an assumption made about someone without the adequate knowledge to do so with guaranteed accuracy, it can be negatively impact emotional well-being and one's sense of self. It is something which is a kind of stereotype mind-set about something or some group of people and it’s not easy to get out of it.  The term prejudice is most commonly used in reference to a preconceived judgment of someone due to their social class, gender, race, ethnicity, disability, age, religion, sexual orientation, or other personal traits.

Effects -

When a majority of people in a community subscribe to prejudiced or untrue beliefs about a particular group of people, that group of people may experience a decrease in freedoms, rights, or fair treatment.

Examples of prejudice:

A person believes all ODIYA people are lazy and brainless but has never worked or spent time with any ODIYA people.

A person thinks less of someone because that person "looks poor." Or “spend less”.

Discrimination -

Discrimination is something may be for short term period and it can affect to all groups of people. Discrimination, or actions or behaviors taken against individuals as a result of prejudiced beliefs, can create feelings of shame, anger, and sadness in victims.

Discrimination is an actual behavior.

Discrimination can negatively impact society by leading to oppressive systems in which certain groups are treated unfairly and dis empowered, practices that can result in aggression and other problems that affect the community as a whole.

Examples -

Women from male-dominated careers and using age discrimination in hiring practices.

Make sure that they do not steal anything would be committing subtle discrimination.

Effects of both prejudice and Discrimination-

Make others confidence level low :

People who believe that they are being judged negatively or who are treated as inferior may have difficulty performing to the best of their ability, especially if they experience prejudice or discrimination on an ongoing basis due to an intrinsic characteristic of who they are as a person.

Discrimination effect Physical and emotional impacts:

Exclusion or rejection directed to you by others for reasons that you often have no control of can cause extreme worry to an individual. It results in anxiety, sadness, depression and a feeling of guilt and emptiness. These often translate into depression, loss of interest, eating disorders and stress-related ailments.

Discrimination affect us discrimination effect Social, educational and financial impacts:

Discrimination, harassment and victimization leave the individual confused and broken.

It can affect them financially, may lose their job, quit school or do poorly at school.

Discrimination effect Society and Businesses:

Communities and businesses that fail to take strong action on discrimination tend to be lower in productivity. This is because people feel disgruntled, and loose interest in working hard. There is a drop in morale, trust and confidence on the part of the employees. People with talents and exceptional skills and abilities are not attracted to these places because they do not want to be discriminated against.

Discrimination effect Politics:

People who face racial discrimination may regroup with some vengeance in mind against other groups. This can fuel conflicts and social discords. In fact, many conflicts and wars have been started in this way.

The Culprit :

There are very strict laws on discrimination that may be applied to individuals who discriminate. There is no excuse, even if you did not know that your actions were discriminatory. Employees and individuals can bring legal action on the business or individual who did the act, and there are consequences for guilty parties.

Personal life experience –

I never ever face any kind of prejudice or discrimination till now, as I am from higher caste (Brahmin) as well as my family is in good standard. My father is a Government job holder in Railway, even my grandpa and his ancestors were Land lord. So from my childhood days I never ever seen such kind of issues in my life. I am frankly speaking. I never fear to tell the truth as my life is already like an OPEN DIARY, my birth place to my family everything is open and clear.

But I really realize the meaning of discrimination and prejudices in term of success and talent in later stage or can say in young stage after I realize the value of success.

I realize that in this world good people as well as bad people all are exist, it depends on how you react to all.

Sometimes I feel – IS IT BAD TO BE GOOD?

When you care for others and love others, people take it as flirting.

If your family background is too good and stricter then people try to ruin it as they don’t have such kind of family culture or background. They knew it that’s why they put you in that circle where they belongs to so that they’ll not feel bad about this.

People try to ruin your career by spreading many negativity about you like you are close mind-set etc. . . .

1)    Ha, sometimes it also astonished me, what’s wrong with me. I never ever mistreat anyone even disrespect too. I respect all and I never ever fight but when it comes to give justification of my answer , people turn it into quarrel as their behavior is like that , it’s like how are you – you take everyone is like that. Till now, 24-25 years of life, in my whole career – I may angry upon some but I never ever disrespect to anyone who is elder to me. I always try to give justification and clarification, sometimes people don’t want to listen as they don’t want to PROVE YOU RIGHT SO THAT THEIR ILLUSTRATION WILL BE WRONG. So this is the way how people try to prove you wrong and make an AURA of Prejudice specifically about and around you.

2)    When you try to be strict and follow your family principle or which family background you came from, many people try to ruin that even they know , that’s not true at all but they knowingly do that so that they can prove you helpless .

From my side I never ever has or had any kind of prejudices feeling for anyone otherwise I can’t love people from different caste as well as religions too. My friends are always from different different caste and religion as I love to learn new things. I love all but yes! I can’t follow all as I am a kind of rigid personality specifically when it comes to my CHARACTER AND PERSONALITY. I can’t compromise with these 2, as I know its value.

My problem is always with my DREAM or LOVE matter , I don’t know why people have problem with my dream even I never ever do any kind of mistake still blamed and treated like I don’t know anything or kind of illiterate even though I perform well and I passed out from BEST COLLEGES in ODISHA (From KIIT – IIIT) . Yes! I have a problem with communication (still I am fluent , anyone can check my Youtube video channel) but not with my behavior and attitude , I talk less that’s why when I speak in the beginning I fumble otherwise I don’t feel any kind of problem with that and I have a problem with forgetting words , that’s I am trying to enhance otherwise I feel I am good .

I am not a unique personality - All struggling people like me, love to give more time to themselves and they love to stay alone, until unless they feel something useful to spend with others. They are a kind people who have higher rate of self-respect that’s why they don’t like to spend money like burning it even they don’t like to waste or use others money too , they use it wisely. My family may have good earning income still I feel bad to ask for money to my parents as I feel shame, it’s all about self-respect not about our income level. It’s all about how you treat yourself.

I love all , but there is an always conflict between my love and community problem – when I love someone from my community , maybe he is not that much good to treat me well or when I love someone from different community (region or religion) may he gives value to me but people are not accepting . It’s a kind of story, which I always try to hide and keep it safe within me, but it always expose dramatically , but the bitter TRUTH is TILL NOW WHOM I LOVE , I NEVER EVER TALK WITH THEM FACE TO FACE MUCH TIME OR SPEND TIME WITH THEM , still I love them as some connections are from heart. I CAN’T LOVE THOSE WHO DON’T KNOW HOW TO RESPECT AND VALUE THOSE WHOM THEY LOVE , IF I HATE SOME PEOPLE THEN BECAUSE OF THIS REASON , I don’t need coward people in my life or people , who don’t respect those whom they love . I respect all , but if someone unnecessarily disrespect me I can show their ACTUAL POSITION IN SOCIETY and I don’t think it’s bad , I think everyone should aware of their OWN EXISTENCE AND POSITION in society , then only they can also start RESPECTING all irrespective to Profession to religion . I respect all kinds of profession as during my childhood days these are the people (low profession) who actually love me a lot , that’s why I love all kinds of profession as I have a special attachment towards them but I hate too much EGO AND DISRESPECT without any reason .

I believe we all come this world to serve and live peacefully so why so much ego and false believes, if you want to live peacefully LOVE ALL. But this world is not that much good, sometimes you have to be complicated to bring peace.

I may be victim due to my own personality and weakness (love) but in this future this will only act as my strength, as I got the trick how to live my life (without HARMING AND HURTING, as these are beyond my principle) . Waiting for making my life better first then i'll think about others (My ACTUAL DREAM – those who can’t – poor children and women)

Case Examples through THERAPY solutions ( This part is Copied)

1)    Hostile prejudice in the office: Jorge, 34, enters therapy after becoming increasingly uncomfortable at his office. His co-workers have begun to make frequent negative comments about his background, and he has been subject to many offensive jokes about the Mexican culture. He tells his therapist that this hostility frequently undermines his work and that although he likes his job, he thinks that quitting may be the only solution. After exploring possible steps and solutions with the therapist, he decides to politely confront any co-workers who make an offensive remark and help them understand how their comments are ignorant and hurtful. With his therapist's encouragement, he also decides to make his boss aware of the situation, a step he was previously too nervous to take. Jorge's boss is understanding and quickly schedules a diversity training and begins to take other steps to ensure a more comfortable office environment for all individuals. Through these actions, Jorge is able to feel more confident about who he is, and his performance at work improves as a result of his increased confidence and comfort in the work environment.

2)    Community isolation as a result of cultural differences and prejudice: Hassan, 29, enters therapy in order to discuss the difficulties he experiences as a result of living in a primarily white neighbourhood. He often feels excluded from his neighbourhood activities, which he attributes to cultural differences and possible prejudice, as he is a Muslim of Arabic descent. Hassan is unable to find a therapist in the area from his own ethnic background, so he starts attending sessions with Rd. Benoist, a white female. Hassan initially has some concerns about whether Rd. Benoist will be able to understand his problems, but he decides to meet with her anyway. Fortunately, Rd. Benoist has been trained to address cultural differences, and in their first session she openly addresses the differences between herself and Hassan and provides information about her relevant training. She encourages Hassan to discuss any concerns that he has, which puts Hassan at ease and helps him to open up quickly. He feels understood and validated and, over the course of therapy, is able to openly discuss his feelings about the prejudice that he is experiencing. Rd. Benoist helps Hassan explore and process his feelings in a healthy way, and together they explore ways that he might connect with others in his community.

3)    Diversity training leads woman to examine her own prejudices: Leah, 31, chooses to meet with a therapist following the conclusion of a workplace diversity seminar. In the seminar, she tells the therapist, she realized that many of the attitudes and beliefs she holds about those unlike herself are negative. She reports that since high school, she has always viewed those she considers plain or unattractive as inferior and that she has always thought that heavyset people should lose weight. Leah admits that she has made negative or stigmatizing comments to some female co-workers that she considers to be overweight and that she also has made ignorant comments regarding the sexual orientation of a co-worker. No one has ever called Leah out on her behaviour in the workplace, but she tells the therapist that she feels that she may have been hurtful to some of her co-workers. With the therapist, Leah addresses the potential reasons behind some of her beliefs and explores ways that she can develop a more open mind and informed way of thinking. She also discusses ways that she might apologize for any offense she might have given.

~BOOK ~

I've read the book, in fact, I'm a big fan of Jane Austen books.
What we can learn from Pride and Prejudice: To be honest, the book is fairly practical. It's more about romance and marriage, and it preaches how to approach that part of our life in a pragmatic way in my opinion. The book is basically about:

Marrying someone with mismatched personality is a recipe for disaster: Let's take a look at Mr & Mrs. Bennet's marital life. Mr. Benet is bookish and introverted, Mrs. Bennet is ambitious and extroverted. The result is Mrs. Bennet is trying to ensure their daughters at least marry in some wealthy family, Mr. Bennet is sitting in his library all the time. It's not really their choices are "moral'' or ''immoral'', rather that they are just taking choices most suitable with their personality. One can imagine the life they had, Mr. Bennet making jokes on his wife that he doesn't understand, Mrs. Bennet expecting things from her husband that he can't give. It's pure hell. There should've been some matching in what kind of life they really want before marriage. Another result is that their daughters are conflicted about which style to pursue.  None of the daughters except Elizabeth shows good decision making abilities, the elder daughter Jane is particularly soft type. The youngest two are basically stupid and they are not exactly sure which role model to follow.

Falling in love or breaking relationships because friends or relatives advice is a bad idea: Mr. Bingley, who doesn't have a personality of his own, and goes by his friend’s advice Mr. Darcy, nearly loses the love of his life, which is Jane Bennet. Darcy thinks Jane does not like Bingley that much, and advises him out of the relationship, sure he manages to correct the wrongdoings, but imagine the situation where Bingley leaves Jane completely and breaks her heart, for not being able to possess a good judgment of his own. Bingley's sisters are also problematic, trying to influence Bingley in a wrong way, not to mention they are showing passive aggressive behaviour.

Not all story is true, and even charismatic people can lie:  Wickham was relatively charismatic compared to Darcy, but he was lying, and was trying to seduce his sister for the money. Elizabeth believed her, but it was not a good idea. Bingley believed his sister's advice, but they were lying. Wickham specially seems psychopathic. The pattern of a manipulator is there at least, like fake charm, short term relationships, compulsive lying etc.

Turning people down when the personality mismatch seems high is a damn good idea: Imagine what would've happened if Elizabeth agreed to Mr. Collins's proposal. She didn't agree to the proposal even for money, and that was a good idea, because Mr. Collins is basically a tragic wimp, living as a subordinate of his aunt. But the same man is pretty good for Charlotte, as she agreed to marry him (bless her). First time Elizabeth turned down Darcy, and it was the correct way to proceed because Darcy hadn't corrected his behaviour before the dumping process. After getting rejected he got more than enough humility that resulted in their later marriage.

Just because one has dramatic relatives, does not mean one can't seek space: Mrs. Bennet was really happy about Jane and Elizabeth's marriage, and they also had to give money to the other sisters because they eloped with idiots. But if Elizabeth and Darcy kept ruminating over the details 24/7, their life would be postponed. They kept the relationship with the family, but they made space for their own life, and it was a damn good idea because one can imagine the amount of headache only Mrs. Bennet can produce, let alone his sisters. Bingley also had to grow up, and make decisions instead of complying with his sister’s manipulation or friend’s judgment.

(COPY FROM QUORA- ONLY THIS YELLOW PART, I feel it’s useful that’s why I just copy paste here)