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At the start of a relationship, you begin as two people. You are both excited to learn about each other’s interests. Your excitement builds and you begin to spend more time doing similar activities and being with each other’s friends, your life experience become knotted.
When self-esteem comes in between you and your loved one, life becomes more complicated which end up with losing yourself to make someone happy who means a lot for you. Having high self-esteem or having lost self-esteem also doesn’t give guarantee a happy relationship, in both the cases you’ll be the loser until you adopt some excellent skills to maintain your self-respect with the relationship.
Here are eight(8) things people with high self-esteem do differently in their relationships:
Check your life – Are you happy?
Initial days of your relationship, you try to be the best version of yourself to make someone happy and comfortable. You put maximum time and care into your appearance, watch your words to make sure the other person should not get hurt or disappointed from your behaviour and you constantly check your love interest’s and try to fit in there, if you truly love him/her.
We all have the capability to love someone and make someone as own still why the relationship fails even after we tried everything from our end.
The reasons are –
1) Nobody can perform the real-life drama or adjust for a longer period, one day you need to show who you are and what you like and dislike.
2) When you become close to each other after a certain period, you started to take everything personally and becomes very possessive for someone whom you love and this should be from both the ends, otherwise, it will lead you to relationship failure.
3) Sometimes you see reality still believe the fake as this is the human heart, which always says give one more chance.
4) Compatibility as per dream and personality matters a lot than anything as you gonna live our entire life based on relationship and money (career). You can’t compromise with any of these 2, otherwise, you can’t have a stable life.
Self-love is not selfish
If you love yourself and your worth, there is nothing wrong you are doing with yourself. This is what everyone should do, irrespective of gender. Even you are a man, it doesn’t mean you lose your self-worth to keep a relationship when you are a woman you can’t compromise with your self-respect to keep any abusing relationship but it doesn’t mean that you should leave your partner (he/she) in the middle of your life. As relationship are not jock and losing a relationship is quite easier than maintain in a healthy way.
In this scenario, how one can maintain his/her self-respect along with that maintain a healthy relationship?
1) You should be less dependable on your partner that he/she will entertain you or makes you happy. Fewer expectations fewer worries and less augment.
2) Fear of being alone and unloved. Spend much time with self-doesn’t mean you are unloved or you are introvert or unsocial, sometimes spending much time with yourself can help you to know yourself better and explore your hobbies.
3) Sometimes we lose ourselves to make someone happy. But do you think! It can help you in long run, Sorry to say! It can’t. Here either you become a different person or that person becomes a different person like maybe he/she will become more demanding or abusing or more expecting personality. Which you have to suffer in long run. So be careful when you think about to go for losing yourself for someone even though you love him/her from your whole heart and he/she means to you like the whole world. In any scenario, you never ever forget your self-respect, if you can’t respect or love yourself- how you can expect someone to love you or respect you enough. Be wise and be a good decision maker.
4) We all want to maintain our self as per personality, some love to maintain their hobbies, lifestyles, friendships and other independent aspects of life but after having a partner or in a relationship, it’s really difficult to meet all of our needs. A relationship should not change you, except for the better version of yourself. We all do many compromises in relationships, but we should not have to compromise who we are. To maintain a healthy and happy relationship one needs to be independent and have a self-identity first.
Few questions you need to ask yourself always to get a better relationship life
Have you hear anytime from your friends to the family side to ditch someone you love as you can’t spend much time with them, how you feel at that time. Can you ditch someone with whom you plan your entire life or to maintain your relationships with your friends and family life, you need to ditch your loved one? It matters a lot after a certain period of life as both matters equally in our life. After marriage, we can give guaranty on someone that he/she will be with you only but before that, you are not sure about that even you can’t keep him/her as less priority list as well as you love. In that scenario – it’s very important to keep your eyes on your loved one, whether he/she is ignoring all for you or he ignores you for all. It matters a lot to judge someone in this complicated world. Being in love doesn’t matter much than being in a wrong relationship, which leads to a great loss for yourself from monetary to mental loss.
Sometimes we heard so many breaks up stories from our friends to near dear people. Which make us feel like being in a relationship is a wastage of life and worthless. Whereas it is not. After a certain stage, you need to marry someone, after that also if you still think all girls or boys are same then you can’t be happy either as this makes you feel insecure and unhappy every time due to your bitter memories or heartbreaking stories from your friends or family. Give your 100% to do something for a better start, never lose a single change to make your new loved one to feel worthy. Present days, everyone is educated with professional. Equal respect and showing worthiness and love are the key factors to keep your relationship long lasting till death otherwise you can’t even know when it will break, as when you start ignoring someone and showing someone less worthy, it means you already open the door of breaking the relationship. A relationship without equal respect and love can’t sustain for the longer period.
Always be clear with your own needs, wants, opinions, and priorities
In order to sustain a balance between your life, yourself and you need to work much towards to build a healthy relationship but it doesn’t mean you gonna lose self for someone else. Keep your wants, needs and priorities open before your loved one. Let him or her accept the way you are, except those things which can make you a bad person. As we need some time for ourselves
No one person can be expected to fill your social and emotional world. You are not hurting your partner sentiments by having your own interests, hobbies and alone time. It does not threaten your love whereas it is the essential part of your life. It is the foundation upon which all other relationships are built.
We all have dreams and we need to work as per that, no one has the rights to tell what we should do and don’t until we do something- which is not socially accepted and bad for you.
Communication and Time spend with each other are real key of relationship success
Communication is the real key to having healthy relationships. Being happy couples is a real blessing in this present world and that can happen through certain ways we need to cultivates or add as a schedule in our daily life.
It's important to talk about life issues and everything with our life partner and tell how you feel today and why. Maybe the person can’t solve your all problems but you feel relax than sharing with someone who neither can help you nor can be trustworthy for logger period. Be wise while discussing your life problems with someone.
A couple should have common interests and activities together to build a healthy and better relationship for the lifetime. Expressing your needs and feelings in a positive way is a good foundation for resolving conflicts and building a healthy relationship for the lifetime.
Maintain the clear boundaries which show your worthiness
Self-respect and self-value are necessary ingredients to have a better healthy life and relationship altogether.
Maintaining the self-dignity while dealing with relationships are the toughest challenge which we all face most of our time. The foundation of long-lasting relationships is based on 2 key factors- mutual love and respects. So to have worthy and long lasting relationships, you all need to treat your partner with same respect either inside the room or outside the room and at the same time you also need to keep your dignity intact. Mutual understanding and compromise provide the sense of self-worth to each partner.
Nobody wants to respects a person who has no dignity. If you lack dignity, you will make yourself vulnerable to misuse and abuse *mental. That is why you must always maintain a certain level of self-respect otherwise people are ready to use you for their own benefits.
Pay attention to each small things happens in your life due to your relationship
Psychological abuse can be silent and deceptive. One of the major side effects of an abusive relationship is the complete loss of a sense of self and make yourself isolated from the whole world.
An abusing (mental) relationship damage you more than anything -
1. Loneliness- Does it seem as if your partner has been trying to separate you from your family and friends, your social support system.
2. Condemnation – If you not comfortable with your partner, how is your partner is going to react to something you say or do?
3. Enmeshment- True love means doing everything together, but if someone can’t give time to you and let you do something for yourself and your own interests then it is purely unhealthy one until unless there is something wrong attach with that.
Abusive relationships can suck the life out of you and leave nothing. If you recognize any of these red flags, take back your power and walk away. Find someone who brings out the best in you, not stress you.
Learn to speak up, express your desires and dreams within the relationship and let him or her know what you want
When you are in a relationship, start expressing your own desires and wishes with your loved one if you want is a good start. There may be sometimes you need to face conflict still it is worth than being in a wrong relationship where you don’t have. Taking the time to work towards this will ensure many rewards.
Present days issues with relationships
Self-respect is the base in any relationship, in present days people run after those relationships which have no based. People change their feelings and relationship like they change their dress. Now a day’s people lose the value in their relationships.
Too many relationships before marriage may lead to having breakage in your marriage life in the later stage as you have low EQ level as compare to others as from the beginning of your life you never ever learn how to compromise. As now a day’s people change their relationship like they change their dress, as they never ever give value to their relationship. When you start giving value to your relationship, you realize how much precious it is and you can get 100s of ways to maintain it.
Nowadays people have many boyfriend or girlfriend before their marriage life, so it’s easier for them to have extramarital affairs even after marriage. Whereas being in a marriage relationship is completely different than just in a relationship. After marriage, it is all about your family and that person’s family’s image with those people who attached with you like your babies etc. As per my view - I believe in having the serious relationship with my loved one after marriage, which can lead to having a proper and healthy relationship for lifelong, that’s why I always avoid having the boyfriend as I always believe I shouldn’t feel guilty after a certain phase of my life.
So if you want to maintain your relationship last long to start giving importance from day one, being a business minded and professional minded doesn’t lead to having breakage in your love life. So start knowing how to maintain your love life with professional life together.
If you focus on one man or one woman, it doesn’t ruin your life but it will lead you towards success. You can take an example from the different level. If you want a successful life then start loving your husband or wife otherwise ready for a mess up life with no pleasure with success or success but no pleasure or happiness. The choice is yours.
Check out my previous article based on love and relationship -
http://diaryofmywholelife.blogspot.com/2017/12/love-is-necessity-not-luxury.html
http://diaryofmywholelife.blogspot.com/2017/04/love-and-dhoka-new-trend-in-business.html
http://diaryofmywholelife.blogspot.com/2017/02/pride-and-prejudice-new-conflict-in.html
http://diaryofmywholelife.blogspot.com/2016/09/love-is-science-some-get-it-without.html
http://diaryofmywholelife.blogspot.com/2016/09/true-love-is-not-your-cup-of-tea.html